Friday, June 11, 2021


 I am not afraid of going outside.

But I have grown quite comfortable with my present status of being housebound. There is probably a better word for that, but that's the only one I know. I haven't been out for a couple of weeks and am not planning to go out this weekend, even with the lifting of some restrictions. 

There are two reasons for me to continue my stint as being housebound.. 

The first is that the activities that would pull me out are still restricted. The gym, still closed. The mall, still closed. Me, still in. I'm just not interested enough in what's presently on offer.

The second one is more personal. I am tucked away from people's stares and unwanted commentary about my life. I am safe here. Joe may look at me with exasperation sometimes and annoyance at other times but he never looks at me the way the world sees me - a fat freak in a wheelchair. Never. Joe sees me, he reacts to me based on what I say or do, as would be expected.

Yesterday we watched a TV program that played, for laughs, a scene wherein a young man got stuck having to go on a date with an 'uggo' which I've learned is a slang term for someone ugly. The 'uggo' in this case was a rather pretty woman who in the eyes of the world, was fat.

You expect me to go willingly into that world?

There was a time when 'ugly' laws and statutes made it illegal for some to be out in public. That those laws and statutes are no longer in place does not mean that they didn't make the transition from being written in law books to being written in stares and glances, in disapproving faces, and in disgusting commentary..

So, no thanks.

I will go out in the next round of lifting restrictions, I want to do what's on offer then, and I willing to brave presenting myself to the world again.

Sometimes Disability Pride is shown just by going out.


ABEhrhardt said...

The world is mean, but I hope you go out and enjoy the things you DO enjoy when they're available. To H*ll with the meanies.

Maybe you could call it nesting? Staying in your own little perfect universe, with things where you need and want them. Your happy place.

Pat Fratangelo said...

You are an amazing man. You have great intellect, great ideas, you are a great presenter. Be proud of who you are. In my mind and experience you are better than those who fault you.

Cindi Freshour said...

Dave you have no idea how you have impacted my life, so I guess I should tell you. I love my job at WCALF in Redding. And have been doing it for some time. Often when I am talking to people about what I do, I often say things I have learned from your teachings. I continue to love my job and carry it with me always. I despise hate speech and to the people in my life it is very evident. One time I was at a sports event with a daughter-in-law and her family. The lovely caring woman next to me used the "R" word in an angry comment yelled at the referee. Before I could stop myself, I had smacked her on the arm and said VERY directly, "don't use that word. It's hate speech and it hurts people." I looked at our daughter-in-law and she was laughing so hard. You see it was her mother I had smacked. She said to me, "When I heard mom say that I just waited, because I knew what was coming next." I have not tolerance for any form of bullying. I will pray that things you love to do will soon open up and you will be able to go out and do some of those things. However, I think getting comfortable at home hits most of us with age. I have watched many of the elders in my life end up being more comfortable at home and not going out much. Relax and do what ever you feel like doing. You have made your mark on the whole words and made it a better place. If you get bored, email me and we can Zoom with some of the Peer Instructors. Also, there is an Advocacy Zoom on Thursdays, if you are interested email me and I'll send you the contact information. The world can still benefit from your wisdom.