Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Second Look

So, I went to the exercise room in a hotel for the first time. I found a machine where I could do two exercises, one was to take hold of a bar from on high and pull it down, this motion lifted a preset weight on the machine. The other, on the same machine, was pulling a bar straight towards oneself thus lifting the same weights. I set the weights too low the first time, then went way too high couldn't even move it ... feeling like a Goldilocks good at adaption, I found one that was just right. Let's define, 'just right' as a piece of equipment that I could pull into and use from a distance, I would pull to me at a couple of different angles rather than straight down. I couldn't get on it, but I could get near it, and that would have to be enough. So sitting in my wheelchair, I did three sets of 10 on each one and then was tired out.

But here's what I wanted to tell you.

These rooms have mirrors everywhere. I had been so focused on the machine and pulling the bar down or , that I didn't notice there was a mirror right beside me. I just did the work. I enjoyed it because it was different from anything I'd done before, and the room stayed empty so I had privacy, so I didn't feel rushed, I didn't feel on display.

Then.

I noticed the mirror beside me.

It was a big mirror. It covered the wall. I saw all of me, I saw my chair, my body, my arms lifted and pulling on the weights. I saw my size. I saw everything. ALL OF IT.

I became immediately embarrassed.

I looked ridiculous, silly even.

I became a little angry at myself, what the hell did I think I was doing.

I don't belong here.

Then.

I looked again. And saw a fat guy in a wheelchair lifting weights in a gym and thought ...

good on him.

Sometimes, you've got to take a second look.

6 comments:

ABEhrhardt said...

I'd be more glad you could get into position to do these exercises from your wheelchair - that is not a given.

Enjoy your exercise - look at the handsome smiling guy in the mirror. Yeah, you. Smile.

Dave Hingsburger said...

Alicia, thanks, I rewrote the beginning of the blog to be clearer about the adaptations I had to make.

Unknown said...

Glad you were able to take a second look....maybe I can learn to look at what I see in the mirror....good on you, Dave.

Unknown said...

As a self-described "round" person who goes to the local gym on a fairly regular basis, I too am sometimes taken aback at my mirror image. I appreciate Mirna's perspective on exercise and weight: http://fatgirlrunning-fatrunner.blogspot.com/

Unknown said...

Good for you for realizing that you should be cheering yourself on.

Unknown said...

Mirrors are only a reflection of who we are not the whole picture. So carry on enjoying what ever you are doing. It brings much joy to everyone who knows and loves the whole you. :)