Friday, June 05, 2015

Beer, Breasts, but no Beatings

Photo Description: two fists with the words GOOD BEER tattooed on letter at a time on the four fingers of each hand.
Yesterday, after work, we were sitting having a beer, with our friend Mike, when the florist called. We've ordered some unusual arrangements and she wanted to make sure that the wedding was still on. "I always call a couple days before," she said, "because lots can happen between the order and the delivery of the flowers." I imagine that's very true.

Joe, who took the call, assured her that it was still on and we were still looking forward to see what she'd created, given our unusual request. After the call, Joe sat back and relaxed. It is all organized, it's all done. But for the waiting. We started to talk about the wedding, moved from that to the upcoming pride day and the organization behind making sure that we've got water for the water guns. We chatted in a normal chatting sort of voice.

The thing is, we weren't in a gay bar.

We were in a guys sports bar where the servers, all women, have breasts that look like they could beat you in an arm wrestle. We've been in there when some game or other has been on and it was full of guys cheering these various teams. Joe and I have a different approach to sports that usually ends in one of us making the comment about a player like, "He's kinda cute,"

At some point we all realized that the guys around us had heard our conversation and didn't care. One. Little. Bit.

I didn't feel unsafe.

Things are changing. When we were in Campbell River, I was in the room, I'd been sick with the runs and we were waiting for the Imodium to kick in. Joe called me, almost frantically, from the laundromat in downtown Campbell River. He wanted to tell me that there was an advertisement, on the wall, for a gay pride event in Campbell River. Campbell River!

This was the town where we had met.

And would have had to shit beat out of us.

Now there is an ad for a pride event in a laundromat. It hadn't been ripped up or torn down.

Maybe the world is changing.


Our life changes tomorrow, in one major way, when we get married.

But I don't want to talk about that until it's done.


Anonymous said...

Things are definitely changing and I hope they keep changing for the better! My hope is that one day when X comes home from school she can say she played house with 2 mommies or 2 daddys. One day I hope!

Can't wait for the big day tomorrow!


Amy JD Hernandez said...


Yes, I agree. The world is changing. My son with Ds is being welcomed at his home high school (with a little prodding on my and my husband's part) and NOT the "program" across town next year. He spent half his day there, this year and everyone now realizes that it is no big deal. Down syndrome is a part of life, after all. Now, these kids and these teachers get to see him and Ds up close and see that it does not affect them in a negative way. He is not over there, or hidden. I think it's the hiding of difference that makes it scary for some people. They haven't seen it for themselves, so they don't understand. Now, people with disabilities (of all kinds) and orientations (of all kinds) eat hot wings at sports bars with everyone else. :)

This is progress.

And congrats, again. Happy Pride and Happy Wedding Day!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dave,

I have been reading your blog for ages and love it. I seldom comment however I had to chime in today:
I wish you and Joe the very very best as you celebrate your love and life together.
Happy Wedding!


Liz Miller said...

I am so excited for you! I couldn't be more excited if you were family!

Anonymous said...

Have a happy wonderful love-filled day tomorrow Dave and Joe!!! samm

Anonymous said...

wishing you a very happy wedding day, and a very happy marriage too! x

Anonymous said...

Wishing you and Joe many more years of joy and happiness together, have a blissful day tomorrow. M.