Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Crisis, Need and Expectations.

Yesterday wasn't the easiest day. In fact, it was pretty tough. I'm not going to say much more than that because, while it might be a surprise, I practice what I preach: boundaries. So, enough said on that.

In the midst of the 'troubles' yesterday, I was rushing from one place to another. I was wrapped in worry and pursued by anxiety. I had been given a quest, and I was rushing to get it done so I could get back. I did my best to ensure that my upset didn't affect my mobility. I didn't want to run into someone because I was paying more attention to 'inside me' than 'outside me.' So, I was being careful.

Because I lecture and because I've produced training films myself as well as for others, I am sometimes recognized. Mostly this is a nice experience, getting to chat for a moment with someone who has seen me on video or read one of my books is great.


When I heard my name called out, I immediately panicked. I was so into my anxiety and worry that I thought, at first and quite irrationally, that someone was chasing me to give me bad news. Silly, I know, but our minds do what our minds do. So when the person introduced themselves and then started to talk to me about one of my books and having seen me lecture, I couldn't follow.

I told the person that I was having a bit of a life crisis, that I was in a hurry, and that I appreciate the sentiments expressed but I didn't have time to talk.

"That's not very friendly, brushing me off like that."

I was so stunned at the response that I simply turned my chair and headed off. A threat followed, "I'm going to tell people that I met you and you weren't very friendly."

Go ahead.

What concerns me about this is that if this person has read me or seen me, they work in human services. An honest explanation of 'crisis' and 'hurry' was met with - well, nothing really - because it simply didn't matter what my needs were.

You may hear I'm unfriendly.

But I'm not.

Sometimes I'm just someone caught up in that messy thing: life.


theknapper said...

omg....it was all about them

clairesmum said...

there are people in human services who are in the field to get their own needs met.....this interaction sounds like you met one of them...and chances are that those who hear whatever gossip he tries to spread will know that this person is all about himself...and won't automatically believe what he says about anyone else....hope it can just slide off your shoulders, Dave....hoping the messiness of life calms down soon.

Anonymous said...

I can attest that I've read your books, watched your videos and attended your workshops. I've also had the privilege of chatting with you over lunch, talking about "life" stuff that had nothing to do with our work.
Their issue, not yours.
Merry Christmas to you and Joe!

Ron Arnold said...

Public life is interesting. When people 'know' you from a distance, they generally make all kinds of assumptions about you. One common one is that you're always 'on' as that person you are in public. (I play in a band and sometimes I'm recognized. I don 't always wanna be recognized.)

It's cool Dave. I remember meeting you in person. You're nice.

And really - it could be worse though. I mean, at least you're not Christian Bale. =D

Belinda said...

That was a tough day made tougher.

Anonymous said...

UNFRIENDLY??? YOU???? Consider the source . . .

Anonymous said...

Oh, wow, no — that's not how this works! You're generous enough to share some of your experiences with us, but that doesn't give us ANY right to demand your time or attention.

I think (I hope) anybody that person tells the story to will be able to read between the lines to what really happened.