Monday, September 29, 2014

That Pain Thing

A number of people have emailed me, or messaged me, or texted me; I never realized that there were so many ways to get in touch until now. Anyways, the upshot was that I had written about pain management and how that was all going. I had written about going to the doctor here but not followed up. They were right, I hadn't.

I'm still new to talking about this experience and still a little shy about the whole thing. I don't know why it causes me discomfort but it does. I guess, as I said before, I am worried that it will affect how people understand and process my disability. I had thought that having a disability was a personal experience, I hadn't realized that disability is also a social and political experience. People will layer their own personal views, fears and anxieties about disability on you. People will also layer their political views about disabilities about costs and funding, about access and about resources, and therefore, eventually about the worth and worthiness of your life. Pain seemed to me to accentuate people's fears while lighting a flame under the 'let us remove that pain by assisting you into heaven' people.

So, being open about the pain thing concerns me.

I have indeed been prescribed pain medication, it's not strong, it's not addictive, but it's quite effective. I take one at night time and several things happened all at once. First, I thought the pain wasn't constant but it kind of was, I was just used to it - it felt so strange to be pain free. Second, my sleeping improved to the point that I actually slept through the night. I typically get up very early, but that first night I slept through right until 5 in the morning. Unthinkable.

I feel more refreshed.

In the end I'm glad I went to the doctor, glad he took the time to really listen to what I wanted and what I feared. In fact, he did this twice. I was so concerned after the first consult, I went back for a second. He was good about that and, I think a bit surprised that I was being so cautious about this new step in my health care.

There were are, the update. I should have just written it, not waited until I was prodded. But there you go, I'm cautious.

If anyone is waiting, like I did, if you've got a good doctor that you trust, go ahead, ask. It's an amazing thing to sleep and wake without pain.


Colleen said...

Dear Dave:

Thanks for the update. It's good to know that things have turned out well. It is encouraging to those of us who hesitate to see the doctor.


Liz said...

I'm so glad that you went, that the doctor was helpful, that you are comfortable again!

Anonymous said...

Hooray for good pain relief.

Anonymous said...

I'm really glad that you are getting some relief from the pain and that your doctor was good about it!


Tam said...

I'm so glad you were able to work with your doctor to find a solution to your pain issues.

We so easily normalise things like constant pain and reduced sleep, so it gets to the point that we forget there was ever a time when things were different. Although this has positive effects, such as allowing us to quickly adapt to things that cannot change, it also inhibits us getting help for things that can.

wendy said...

So glad you are feeling better. And here's to good doctors who listen!

krlr said...

I'm just thrilled you found a kind & competent doctor and that you've found relief. Yay!

Cynthia F. said...

Very glad to hear you are feeling better. Thanks for sharing something that is private and important.

And I really hear you on the "help your pain by getting you to heaven" thing. I just learned that a major disability rights organization here in Los Angeles has hired a new executive director straight from the Hemlock Society - oh, I believe they are now called Care and Compassion.

Thanks to all I've learned from you, I immediately saw how scary this turn of events is.