Wednesday, March 16, 2011


I woke up in a hotel far from home. It took a second to remember where I was. A time zone away from home, a discombobulation away from routine, but morning here is like morning at home. Get up, get scrubbed, get dressed, get ready, get going ... those small duties pulled me into a sense of normalcy. We rode the elevator down to breakfast and ate eggs and drank tea looking out at a snow drift high enough to look back at us.

The day was spent lecturing on bullying and teasing to a mixed group of people. There were a lot of teachers, there were parents, providers, self advocates - a mixed group, all there to learn about how to respond to someone who is experiencing the social violence of teasing and bullying. At breaks I spoke to or took questions from a lot of different people. But even with the differences, there was a similar concern. We all wanted a safer world and we all wanted people with disabilities to be prepared to live in a world of intolerance, and by living in that world, change that world.

At one of the breaks a woman with a disability, sitting at the table in front of me said to someone at another table, 'I like what he said about that word, I hate that word, I have tried to stop that word all my life.' It was a moment of validation. She listened with intensity and I could see that the main thing she got from the workshop was simply confirmation that her feelings of hurt mattered and that people should be held responsible for using language that causes pain. It was enough for her.

I did see another man though. He looked at me with a quiet intensity throughout the talk. At the end he came up and in a surprising move, put his hand over mine. He said, softly, 'I am going to be a better dad because of today.'

This, I told him, was the nicest thing he could have said to me.

He was gone before I thought to tell him that his comment is going to make me better at my job and keep me focused on my message. I need to hear that what I do changes hearts, because a changed heart has the power to change lives. I get tired sometimes, waking up and not knowing where I am. It matters to me to hear that something I said will make a difference. It makes me want to get in the car and go do it again.

So tomorrow I will wake up in Moncton, I will wonder where I am and then I will get up and get on. And it will be easier, because someone stopped to tell me it mattered.


Kristin said...

Dave, every time you share a story here, you help change your readers. You make us think and you make us question and, most importantly, you make us speak up. Kudos Dave!

Nan said...

Beautious and inspiring Dave. This posting reminds me of a quote about hope by Valclav Havel that I have stuck to a cupboard door in the kitchen. "Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certaintly that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."

Have hope Dave, in all that you write, speak and do. Because you give such hope!

Anonymous said...

Your blog is always gives food for thought and encourages your readers to be better people! Never doubt the work that you do, as it sure has the power to change those around you!

Unknown said...

Dave I am the father who spoke with you in Fredericton and I can't thank you enough for all you have done for myself and my family. If you're ever in the area again please contact me so we can share some time together with you and Joe.

Thanks Again

Kasie said...

It does matter.
Thank you!