Friday, January 08, 2010

Saying It All


I don't make New Years Resolutions.


I don't.

But oddly. I'm making some new decisions. Delayed decisions but new ones nonetheless. Yesterday I wrote about an apology. This is something very different, but comes from a similar spirit.

An opportunity was offered to me through my position at work. In talking through the offer, I realized that I really wasn't the right mate for the opportunity. But I knew who was. Exactly who was.

A woman I have worked with for several years has really impressed me. Let's be clear that she was a pretty cool person at the get go, but over the time we've worked together, I've seen real growth, incredible maturity, and an ability to make good decisions. She has learned so much, represents herself, our team and Vita really well. I thought that I'd like to offer her the opportunity so set it all up. Confirmed that it was OK to make the offer with the person who called me - sorry for being a bit cryptic but I need to be.

Then I emailed this young woman and asked her to call me. She did. I informed her about the offer, told her I thought she was a good match, she said she was interested, I said great, we rung off. Perfectly pleasant.

But the call bothered me.

Why didn't I tell her that I made this connection for her because she has grown into a spectacular person. That I admire how she carries herself. That she constantly impresses me with her forward thinking. Why didn't I tell her? I really don't know. I didn't even know if it would matter all that much to her this bit of praise, no not praise, honest acknowledgement.

So, I called up may email and sent her a message. I told her how I felt and how impressed I was with her and that the reason I came to her was because of the fact that I admire who she has become. I paused for a long time before pushing the send button.

But I did.

And it mattered.

To both of us.

Two days and two new decisions. One to apologize when apology was necessary. One to be more forthcoming with positive sentiment. Both are about becoming a bit more authentic in my relationships with people. Both are about becoming a bit more authentic in my relationship with myself. This isn't about New Years. Something's happened somewhere in the lost regions of my heart. I'm not sure what it was, I'm not sure why it's happening now. But I kind of like it.


Maybe, at last, I'm growing up.


theknapper said...

It could also mean that there's a wee bit of healing that's happenned in a far away part which makes generousity or whatever it is, easier.
Sounds like it's a good thing that will create other good things.

Gone Fishing said...


But Mr Ryall indicated the Government would fight the decision.
"This decision has implications far beyond the disability sector and will almost certainly be appealed," he said.

Ms Noonan said any appeal would "constitute a further unconscionable delay in ensuring these long suffering families can finally receive justice".
The tribunal found the ministry had discriminated against the parents because "they are not allowed to be paid for the services they provide to their child (or children) while anyone else providing the very same care to their child (or children) is able to be paid".

It did not accept the support parents gave to the "heavily dependent" people could be considered "natural" support.
The financial impact of paying the family members was "not likely" to be great within the disability sector, the tribunal found.

The policy also acted against the objectives of the Government's disability strategy, it said.
"The Commission welcomes this landmark decision because it shows the value of human rights law and recognises the hardship and discrimination these parents have faced for, in some cases, many decades," Ms Noonan said.

The previous government had "regrettably" accepted poor advice about the issue, she said.
Ms Noonan planned to meet with Minister of Health Tony Ryall and Minister for Disability Issues Tariana Turia as soon as possible.

"This is an opportunity for the Government to allow this group of parents, and those in a similar situation, support and dignity for what is for many of them round the clock care for their disabled adult children."

Gone Fishing said...

Sorry the link did not paste

Kris S. said...

You are my hero, Dave.

Anonymous said...

vulnerability is so tricky!
Way to go!

Belinda said...

Very cool to share the journey of a heart.