I was sitting talking with someone about this weekend coming. I'm a little anxious about it and was expressing my concerns. You all know, because I've written about it so often, I've been working on my strength with a goal to increase my independence when I'm in my manual chair. This came about because, when I'm on the road, I use my manual exclusively. However, as I've moved along with weight training and with pushing myself on trips, the goal has shifted. I now want to be independent in my manual chair, here in my home neighbourhood and not depend on my power chair here. I'd use the power chair for when I went long distances but that's it.
So, tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to roll uphill the few blocks to the mall near me, roll in and roll to the movie theatre. Joe has agreed to only help me on the curbs and let me do the rest by myself. I'll take help only after I've exhausted all other reserves. I'll see how far I go before requiring help. That will be my baseline. I'm under no illusions, I won't make it anywhere near all the way, but I'll know what my endurance presently is and can measure success that way.
It all sounded like a good idea two weeks ago. But now that tomorrow is tomorrow, it's not such an appealing idea. So, I was talking about it yesterday.
A woman with an intellectual disability came by and overheard part of the conversation. She came into the room, patted me on the shoulder and said, "All you can do is try, nothing else matters but that you try." She finished the last part of the sentence with her finger wagging at me for emphasis.
I looked at her and told her that she was right.
"I know," she said, "because I try every day. And that's what matters."
Gonna do it.