Monday, October 20, 2014


I lost it yesterday.

Just lost it.

In order to understand, for those of you who don't use a wheelchair, I need to explain the build up. I had to work Saturday until two and therefore didn't get home until somewhere after three. We got home and left immediately, planning to catch the four o'clock showing of Fury. Never realizing that it would be me who was unleashing fury even before getting to the movie.

The sidewalks were packed and after a block or two we regretted not just taking the subway. I drove steadfastly and carefully. I've never run into anyone, although others have run into me, and I fill my mouth with politeness - excuse me please, thank you very much, could I just get by you there. These are mostly directed at people who are standing in the middle of a sidewalk texting or talking or otherwise 'I-ing' with their phone. It gets tiresome using manners when your whole being wants to shout - get out of the freaking way!!!

I was pretty used up with my store of politeness and patience, therefore, when I got to the lobby of the building which houses the cinema on the fourth floor. We went to the elevators and were the only ones waiting. The building has a remarkable set of escalators giving those without disabilities and without strollers an excellent option. However, there are those, like the twenty-somethings, out together in a group, gathered behind us, who for some reason prefer the elevator.

We were clearly there first.

We were clearly in front.

This means that we were waiting longest.

The door opened to an empty elevator and they swarmed around me piling on the elevator. I was trying to turn around to back on when one of them almost ran into me. I stopped. I was furious. I said, "No, no, please go ahead!" Then I brought my chair to a complete stop. One of them told me to go ahead, I said, knowing that the elevator was full now, "No, you are so damned desperate to get on before the cripple does so get the hell on." They got on.

I turned to see Joe in the elevator holding the door open for me. The others were on, if they packed to each side, I could get on, but they stood there looking at me to solve the problem. Well, I did. "Joe, get off, we'll take the next one unless selfish prats swarm us then too. I guess being first in line means nothing to people who consider themselves above such conventions." Joe got off, the door closed on me saying, "I hope you very important people find someone else to teach your children manners."

We managed to get to the theatre on time. I asked Joe if he was looking forward to seeing Fury, he said, mocking me, "I feel like I already have."


Glee said...

Hooray for you Dave. This needs to happen more often. Public shaming + education if they think on their shame. Telling it like it is with disgust in our voices. Cos that behaviour is disgusting and they have to learn that!

We need to "lose it" more often

Tamara said...

Glad you spoke out. I hope they heard you.

Susan said...

Some of the deepest and most profound - and needed - lessons I have learned in life, I'm sorry to say, was accompanied by deep and deserved humiliation. That doesn't work when it's from someone you love and are supposed to be able to trust, but when it's strangers, you really have no choice. Congratulations for authentically representing yourself. And let's hope that for the next time they all individually or corporately encounter someone with a disability, they will remember their very deserved public shaming and be different. I'll bet the world is a slightly better place due to this well-justified temper tantrum, Dave. I do hope ypu're not being hard on yourself, because in this instance I can't help but think it was just the right thing to do....

Jeannette said...

Yes to what everybody else said. It was a righteous wrath. Good for you!!

Katie said...

Hey Dave,

First of all, Thank you! I am disabled too and cannot count the amount of times that has happened to me. Nice to know I'm not the only one that gets furious. People can have absolutely no brain sometimes. Anyways, thanks!

Fellow Fury

Margaret said...

It happened to us too on the cruise ships. We couldn't believe how rude people were. But then again, others were exceedingly polite. John used his tongue on the selfish rude ones, and was particularly pleasant to the thoughtful fellow cruisers.

Anonymous said...

It goes the other way too. Try getting off when those waiting swarm on. Doesn't it make sense to "empty the box" before filling it again? You should make a movie Dave!!!

theknapper said...

Love Joe's response
hope you enjoyed the movie
don't like the new thing when you have to retype the letters.....doesn't seem very easy

B. said...

...righteous wrath, great. I enjoyed that, Dave. Have been in the same position too many times. Thanks.