Sometimes ... well, just sometimes ...
I was picking up a couple bottles of flavoured water in the store. This brand claimed to use natural, organic, flavouring but that wasn't their major selling point. They were the cheapest - the store brand in fact. I had loaded a couple into my bag and was looking over the shelf to decide on another flavour. A woman came over, asked very nicely, if she could reach something for me. I told her, genuinely that it was a nice offer but that I was fine. "You sure, now?" she asked. I said that I was. She smiled and headed off.
The bottle I had decided on was a little higher but I have a long reach. I wondered if I should have let her help me. Sometimes I get the feeling that my allowing them to give to me is a way for me to give to them. I know. I know. I know everything that's wrong with that. Because I get intrusive help and angry responses at refusals I am wary of any offer at all. However, I turned her down because I really could do it.
I understand this because there are some times where the best thing that Joe can do to help me is to let me help him. He does so much for me, things I can't do anymore, that there are times that I feel that i want to give back. The same is true in the world ... I want to give back too. I like holding the door open for someone coming after, I like giving directions to tourists in the city, I like trying to be as good at giving as I need to be at taking.
And that was a moment I think I got wrong.
I could have do it and did do it.
But I think I got less out of that than she did.
I think I need to brush up on my discernment skills.
Have you ever felt that maybe you made a wrong call about something like this?