Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Oh, Frigging, Please
Oh, please - go ahead ignore me.
I have been told that I am 'amazing' or 'inspirational' because I am out shopping alone.
I have been a subject of awe because I took my wallet out and paid for a gift for the kids at the toy store.
I have been honoured because I could, with ease and accuracy, get on an elevator.
This picture and caption seems to suggest that we're here, as disabled people, for needs and purposes of the nondisabled masses. What would the Academy Awards be without an actor humbly accepting an award for daring to take the role of someone with a disability? What would have become of Jerry Lewis if he hadn't been able to vampire our lives? What would John and Jane Q Citizen do if they couldn't buck up their self image by assuring themselves that they are graced by God ... 'there but for the grace of God go I.' How tedious. How tiresome. How annoying.
And, ultimately, how boring.
Do I want to be inspirational? Magical? A source of awe?
After all I can pass wind with a three octave range. Eat your heart out Barbara.
After all I can type a hundred and twenty words a minute, two hundred and five if I'm angry.
After all I can tell the phases of the moon by lying on my back and seeing the tidal effects of the moon on my belly.
Now, that shits awesome.
And you know what any one of those is a hell of a lot more cool than turning around a corner in my power chair - 'You sure know what you are doing!!!'
And even more interesting than my ability to wait for the bus all by my lonesome - 'I think you are so brave.'
And more inspiring than pretty much anything that I've ever been accused of being inspirational for.
I don't know who designed this or who circulated it - but I'm willing to bet it wasn't someone with a disability.
You know what would inspire me?
I suppose not, after all, that's never really an issue is it?