OK LISTEN UP!!!
For those of you who work with boys who will become men, or boys who have become men. I am sick to death with what I see when I speak at conferences which have a lot of people with disabilities in attendance. Self advocate conferences, inclusive conferences, parent and children conferences, the works ... I speak at a lot of these. I've always been hesitant to write this but sometimes ...
silence isn't the solution ...
and this is one of those times.
I am at the point that when I know I am going to be speaking at a conference with a number of self advocates attending that I drink less water and cut back on the tea. I pee before leaving, I pee on arrival before anyone else gets there and I hope I'm good for the day.
That's worked for a few years.
But ... a few years later and peeing becomes something that can't be planned around. I am at the age, and all men know when they reach this age, that wearing beige pants is out of the question. So, three times in the past month I've had to go into a bathroom full of men with disabilities at break time.
And every single time.
THAT'S EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Let me say it again.
Every single time.
I go to the bathroom I see a line up of bare bums standing at the urinals. Men with disabilities who have pulled their shirts up and dropped their pants down. Nipples to Knees exposed - bare assed - men standing peeing. It's a shock, every single time.
This is dangerous.
Really freaking dangerous.
If this happens in McDonald and a kid walks in and the man turns to say 'hi' ... an innocent hello can lead to disaster. This happens in a bus station and a rape, a murder, an act of brutality can happen.
What are people thinking?
Are people thinking?
If someone has to drop their pants they should be peeing in the stall. The solution is so simple that I can't believe I'm writing it. The best solution is to teach a man to pee without exposing himself - but if that's not possible, there is the stall. If the stall isn't teachable, then think of something else.
But don't go on with someone exposing his entire body to take a pee.
I don't know who taught these guys this. I'd like to say it's institutionalization but I've seen men far too young to have ever trod the land of the long corridor do exactly the same thing.
I talked to a teacher today who has a young man in his class who does this now!!! Teacher is concerned. I am concerned - this is a situation away from turning tragic, lives ruined.
And all because someone is not THINKING!!!!!
I dream of the day where I go into a wash room at a conference for self advocates and am not reminded of the William Tell Overture, bum titty bum titty bum bum bum.
So, if you are responsible for the care of a male - could you check this out and then get to work. I don't want men being charged for sexual offending when they simply need to pee. I don't want someone taken advantage of, raped or beaten simply because someone was too oblivious to teach guys that ...
ahem - this may take you by surprise -
public nudity is a crime.