We're in our hotel room much later than usual because the, if not usual, then the typical happened. In spite of Joe going to the hotel here in Thunder Bay, personally booking an accessible room, calling to confirm it, we arrived to have it given to someone else. Then, with no where to stay, began the search for a room. Well, after I expressed my upset to a manager that I had called at home and the two front desk clerks.
You know what all of them said when I expressed my anger?
From the clerks - with soft faces, the kind you make at upset children, and soft voices like you use to calm frightened puppies, 'I understand.'
From the manger on the phone, with faux concern from hours of training, 'I understand.'
I told them all to never say that to me. To never say it to anyone with a disability that they swindled out of a room. Nothing me angers me more than to be told that someone who clearly doesn't understand, who cannot understand, who has no will to understand, that 'I understand.' It almost angers me more than the blatant act of disregard which occurs when they, on a whim, move me out of the room I book and give it to someone else - who they admit doesn't have a disability. 'I understand.'
If you fucking understood what that act does to someone with a disability you wouldn't fucking do it.
We were tired from working a full day and then driving five hours on winter roads to get to the hotel. We were hungry from not having had anything to eat the entire way because we wanted to get as far as we could as fast as we could. We were looking forward to arriving, checking in and having a rest. And we weren't worried. Because when we were here in Thunder Bay a few weeks ago, Joe went over to this hotel and personally booked the room. They explained that the bathroom had bars but a narrow door, that works for us, we were grateful they explained, we thought it meant they 'understood.'
They said they did, but they didn't.
They said the mistake was made by the 'new girl'. I wanted to laugh. Every single time this mistake is made they say that it's the 'new girl'. Is that part of the training package too? Say 'I understand' then say, with a kind of 'oh well' tone of voice, 'It's the new girl.'
So we drove around, found a hotel, checked in. An hour was added to our evening. We still haven't eaten, we're too upset to sleep. We're right across the street from the hotel that gave a disabled room to a non disabled person and then made up for it by 'understanding't that I was pissed off.
Joe is telling me to name the hotel. I tend not to do that. I tend not to use the blog that way. But if ten people ask, I'll tell. If most think that's an inappropriate use of the blog, I'm good with that to. Joe virtually never tells me what to write and he's still standing here saying, 'name the hotel, name the hotel.' I'd say Joe's a tad upset.
But my real question .... does the 'I understand' thing piss you off too? Because, man, that made me so freaking fracking fucking mad. On my way out, I said, for the first time ever in my life to another person, 'I curse you, I curse you and I curse this hotel.' And you know, I meant it, that, I think they understood.