Friday, March 14, 2008

Oh Nuts!

Gentle Readers, a few weeks ago I wrote a blog about being out in my wheelchair in the bitter cold and having my skin freeze to the metal of the chair. Betsy, of the "Bits of Betsy" blog wrote me quite a long letter about a memory she had while reading my blog. I thought it was really funny. I asked her permission to put it on this blog and she gave me that permission. I've saved it up for a day when I had little time. I finished my three days at Seven Hills and now am having to get my mind ready for doing two consultation days in Boston. I need to reorganize my mind. So, Betsy, thanks for this Bit of Betsy - and thanks for giving me the opportunity to publish something really fun, and take a day when I needed it myself.

Hi Dave!

Your blog today reminded me of a very funny story that I thought you might enjoy. You'll see why I didn't post it as a comment! It goes along with the freezing genitals, lol.

My daughter has T21, and is also physically disabled - she has very bad hip dysplasia, and has been casted from armpits to kneecaps for nearly 6 months now.Anyway, one of the few activities that she was able to enjoy (pre-casting, of course) was swimming.

I took her and her friends from school to the local hospital, where they have a therapeutic swimming pool each week. The water was as warm as a bathtub. One Tuesday afternoon, our group gets in after some seniors who had been swimming. One gentleman was using a walker, and had his wife assisting him getting out of the pool.

After a few minutes, she comes out of the change room, and calls out to the entire pool "Does anyone have any vaseline?" Um....no.So then she tells the lifeguard and me that her husband has sat down in the plastic chair in the bathroom to get dressed, and somehow, his testicles have fallen through one of the slats of the chair!!! She has tried to slip them back up, but they have obviously become irritated and now, swollen.

She asks us to come and help, but obviously, this needs an expert's attention, lol. So, we call the nurse's station at the hospital, and try to explain what happened. Soon, two nurses arrive, doning blue glues and a big tube of ky jelly. They lube the gentleman up as much as possible, but to no avail.Here's the funny part - there is now a small crowd gathered; the wife, the lifeguard, myself, and two nurses. The whole time, the man is bitching at his wife, "I don't know why you have to go and tell people my business. You can't stop talking for anything." Its obviously a complaint she has heard over and over again through probably many years of married life.

We are trying hard to offer this man as much dignity as can be given, considering all of the work that has been done to help this naked man, with his testicles danging through the slats of a chair, has had to have been done UNDER the chair!And, had she kept "his business" quiet, we may have noticed him trying to leave the pool area with a plastic chair attached to his testicles!!!!!

The story doesn't end there - the next department that was called was the janitorial department!!!! Two janitors had to come with cutters to cut the slats of the chair away from him!!!To give credit to the old man, he walked out on his own accord, shuffling along with his walker, whispering under his breath, "you gotta tell everyone my business, don't you?"

~~~~~~~~~~So, there you go, Dave, consider that a funny morning story, or a real warning to you if you are trying to get in and out of a shower onto a plastic bath seat. Because you never know, Joe might be on your blog, "telling everyone your business!"Have a great day!

Betsy

http://bits-of-betsy.blogspot.com/

12 comments:

Kei said...

LMAO!!! Oh, that is too much!!! The most hilarious part is him muttering 'gotta tell everyone my business'~
Thanks Betsy!!!

Dave, enjoy Boston~ it's one of my favorite places!

Pat Faulk said...

lol! thanks I needed a laugh!
still laughing!
Pat

Anonymous said...

Dave, one of the things I appreciate about your blog is that you write primarily about your own experiences, and respectfully of those of the people you support, educate and serve. I am regularly inspired and enlighted by your words and perspectives. And I truly appreciate your need to take a day for yourself. But I fail to see the “real fun” of an old man who uses a walker being publicly embarrassed and then having that written about and shared on-line. If Betsy was truly concerned about offering “as much dignity as can be given”, she would not have continued to tell everyone this man’s “business”, as he was so clearly humiliated by in the first place. I think posting this was in poor taste and I can’t help but wonder: if this man was a person with a disability, would you have posted a blog laughing at his predicament?
Lisa

Veralidaine said...

Dave,

That was a great story! Watch out for those vicious lawn chairs, gentlemen!

Lisa,

I think a funny anecdote about a stranger has a place in a blog once in a while. Had he been unable to leave under his own power, or been seriously injured, it would have been inappropriate. But it IS funny since he came out of things okay, with his grouchy old man-ness intact.

-Daine

Betsy said...

I was the one who shared this story with Dave - and Lisa, I'm afraid you missed the point of the story...

Anyone who has been in a long term relationship such as Dave and Joe, or myself and my own husband, have funny idiosyncrascies that come from sharing the same space year after year.

The humour in this story is the irony of being stuck (literally) in this situation, and having the most important thing being that your spouse is acting like, well, your spouse...

It was simply a funny look at our own humanity - much the same as Dave's story the other day about wanting to stop for lunch, and Joe wanting to keep driving.

And honestly, there is some humour in the fact that this man thought that no one would have noticed the problem had his wife not said anything.

Anonymous said...

Dave, dont be "Boston your Balls" whilst working.

Loved the story made me laugh!! Lighten up lisa x

Shan said...

Why I Am Thankful To Be A Girl, Reason #729

Anonymous said...

Dave,
I don't know if you have seen this or not, but I wanted to pass it along. I couldn't believe it.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2008/03/11/1205125862021.html
-D

Anonymous said...

Anonymous try pasting that link again, this one leads nowhere. D

Anonymous said...

Sorry about that, this is my first time commenting in your blog. Let's try this again.

Link

rickismom said...

Mr Annonomous (or MS)
What can't you believe? That parents might consider helping their child or that they are called child abusers for it?

Anonymous said...

I think the term child abuse is a little extreme, but it's not their face to change it's the individual's choice and she/he is not old enough to make that choice yet, they are not even done growing yet.

Also, I think it's a sad lesson to teach the child that he/she cannot be accepted unless he/she strives to fit into the "norm."

Just my two cents. Thought it was interesting, anyway.

For anyone in Toronto or who recieves the Toronto Star, there is a great section in the Saturday paper on disability and self-advocacy.