Thursday, December 14, 2017

'Me' Matters

Well, it's official, working out does not help when your tires spin uselessly no matter how hard you push. I found it really frustrating to be stranded midway down the driveway between the car and the house. I had forgotten to put on my hat and I'm sure steam was rising off my head as what hair I have froze from the little damp that was left from the shower. I literally had frosted my hair.

I haven't been using my powerchair over the past many months, partly because I've been having trouble getting a new cushion and partly because I enjoy, really enjoy, pushing myself. The powerchair would handle the snow with no problem, but it increases my dependence on it's motors rather than my arms. I don't want to lose strength and then in the spring have to face a difference kind of immobility.

We're going to look into ways that we may be able to deal with the mobility issues but if anyone has ideas I'm ready to listen.

Tonight we are going to the kids Christmas pageant and even though I wouldn't miss it for the world. I have to admit the thought crossed my mind about the snow and the getting in and out of the building. I had to actively stop my thoughts in their tracks.

I have an odd way of being in this world, if it's something I'm fighting for that I believe in, I'd never entertain giving up. But when it comes to me, I have a long history of just giving up. Maybe, I realize because I don't really believe in me, in the cause of 'me', in the need of 'me', maybe I give up on the person who was called a loser for many years of his childhood. Maybe I feel safer fighting for someone else, than I do for myself.

But I'm working on giving up giving up on myself.

'Me' Matters.

I say that.

Not quite ready to believe it.


Ron Arnold said...

In the end, you do what's effective - what works. There may be a time where your manual chair isn't the best option. Could mean extra reps in the gym (or increasing resistance on whatever exercises you're doing). You've said the gym is not the same as pushing - but if pushing can't get you from point A to point B, that might be the compromise. I wonder if that might mean dedicating some weekend / evening time to mall pushing time or something too? If you wanna keep the muscle and the world ain't cooperating - ya gotta adapt and commit. (If I did my bicycle commute in this weather, I'd be dead meat the first time a plow came by me. So - I ride the stationary bike in the gym for cardio conditioning. Ain't the same - but it gets me through the winter.)

ABEhrhardt said...

You're doing the right thing: bring it out into the light of day. And tell yourself you are even more powerful because you had to figure it out yourself.

amanda said...

Maybe Wheelblades would help?

clairesmum said...

Not quite ready to believe in it.....YET.

Jenny S-T said...

I've had good reports about getting offroad tyres/wheels, and I've found my pushrim covers very useful, as well as my Freewheel. None of them solve really bad traction in snow, though. So far my experience in proper snow has been small enough that I could have someone I trusted push me over the worst bits, and manage the rest myself. Has anyone tried snow chains on a wheelchair?