Sunday, June 15, 2014

A Bit of Marital Advice

I didn't say it to be mean.

I said it because I felt a responsibility to do so.

We'd been short of cash and, as we walked to the subway, we noticed a branch of our bank on the far corner. I told Joe I'd rush ahead, cross the street, get the money and then come back and meet him at the subway elevator. He nodded and I was off like a shot. There was no line up at the bank machine so I was done quickly and when I got to the corner, I'd just missed the light. So I just parked and waited.

A group of friends, two young couples, came to a stop beside me, also waiting for the light. One of the young men noticed me. A fine looking fellow, with an equally fine looking girlfriend, looked over at me and then leaned and said something to his girlfriend. She gently slapped at him while he laughed. He saw me notice this and so he said, "I just told her that you look like Jabba the Hut only fatter." He found this hilarious, me I've heard it before, often. She looked everywhere but at me, she was blushing wildly.

I said nothing to him but leaned over to speak to her.

"Promise me you won't marry someone who is needlessly cruel to a stranger. God forbid this man ever have children. Abusers give hints before they give hits."

She looked at me shocked.

The light changed.

I sped across.

When I got on the elevator with Joe he asked, "What was that guy yelling at you on the crosswalk?"

"I was just doing some pre-marital counselling and I hope it worked."


pattib said...

Way to go Dave! Awesome advice.

Liz said...

I'm sorry this happened to you but so glad you said what you did.

Colleen said...

I hope she listens to you. And I hope he was yelling apologies after you - but am not naive enough to think that likely. I admire your awesome ability to respond so well to random cruelty.


Anonymous said...

I echo Colleen's comment! I hope she listens to you. You will have saved her from a life of fear and misery! The way we treat someone who cannot do anything for us in return says a lot about ourselves!

Anonymous said...

I think, if the guy had said, 'Hi!' and made a pleasant comment to you, you would have said something like, 'Marry this one - he's a keeper.'

He got what he deserved - life isn't often this immediate - and I truly hope she listened to what you said. Glad you spoke up - our young ladies need to be reminded to choose wisely for themselves and the children they may have.


wendy said...

Horrible that people are so cruel. I'm sorry you have to deal with such BS.

emma vanderklift said...

That's the kind of pithy response I only ever come up with three days too late! Well done...and sorry you had to do it.

clairesmum said...

Abusers give hints before they give hits....a pithy phrase for what you saw...thank you for speaking up as that is always a risky choice in that type of encounter. Interesting that you phrased your observation to her as a request that she promise something to you - obviously a rather loose "promise" compared to how the word is often used. I read it that you were asking her to promise to her self that she would look at this man differently and not allow her self to be abused...wise strategy. Thanks for the good you do, and the good example you give me to keep trying to do something positive every day. Take care, Dave and Joe.

theknapper said...

Hoping your words stay with her...they are so true.

Princeton Posse said...

Excellent advice Dave. If they treat perfect strangers badly, how would they treat someone they love?