Sunday, February 20, 2011

A World Off It's Hinges

We ended up having a bite to eat at a fancy dancy diner very near us. Its the kind of place that people go to to find food that removes the smell from poo, if you get my meaning. I like going there just to make it less special for those who are there. Joe doesn't like going there but will if pressed to. Having failed to find anything at the food court that excited our imaginations, we headed over to the hoity toity cafe.

Laden with a tray full of exsquite food, we took a table. There was little space and we were only inches away from people at the next table. The fellow, a young man maybe 32 or 33, was holding forth. He spoke frankly about lying to his wife, making promises that he never intended to keep, 'just for the sake of peace'. He swore her to secrecy and then launched into character assassinations of a variety of people they knew in common and then said, without irony, 'and they are all such incredibly vicious gossips.'

He moved on to talking about his work place and how he'd discovered a way to fool the comptuer so that it logs him working when he's not. He spoke about taking stuff home and 'forgetting to return it''. His supervisors were all inept and untrusting(!) and his co-workers simply didn't understand his merit. His conversation made me feel dirty. I didn't want to listen but I was seated so I was looking right at him and we were only inches apart. He noticed me there but then dismissed me, being all disabled and fat and all, as beneath the radar, so much so that he need not guard his tongue.

and then


and then ...

she asked him if he was going to have dessert. He said, and this is a direct quote, 'No, I'm being virtuous today.'

I despair.


Anonymous said...

The wheeliecrone says -

Just think - some poor woman is married to that unspeakable pile of manure. Whenever I'm feeling a bit low, I will just reflect on how lucky I am, not chained in marriage to an oaf like that.

I hope that the food was good, Dave.

Tamara said...

The whole world is off its hinges. We have a state in the US where pro-lifers are trying to make killing an abortion doctor legal. I just can't get my head around how you can call yourself "pro-life" and then make it legal to kill someone.

Feel free to delete this one, Dave. Probably shouldn't post about that subject!

Dave Hingsburger said...

Tamara, I have a strict policy of not deleteing comments unless they are spam. Your comment is definately not spam. When 'virtuous' becomes about what you eat and not about how you behave, we need to have strong discussions about values.

Anonymous said...

You can't make this stuff up.

If this guy appeared as the villain in a thriller we'd all judge the author as lazy, writing cardboard characters, trying to cram too many self-centered bits of bull@#$ into one walkon.

I'm with the wheeliecrone -- I hope at least the food was good.

flit said...

aw, you just have to love 'em, don't you?

I'm sorry, but people like that just make me laugh... so oblivious!

We have to have the silly people and the jerks around - they make the rest of us look much better.

Colleen said...

Dear Dave:

Wow! What a conversation to have overheard. This guy seemed to have nothing to hide. I do believe that integrity is lacking in today's society - I kinda miss it!

Robbie Burns - Oh that God the gift hae gi' us - to see ourselves as others see us. Scary!


Anonymous said...

Wow Dave
How did you digest your dinner without a massive case of heartburn? People like that have no idea that they sound so clueless because they are in fact totally self absorbed. But then ya know I wouldn't want to be a gossip ;-)

Susan said...

Thanks Dave.

I was just thinking today how "bad" I am. I know we're not supposed to compare, but suddenly I feel a LOT better! :)

Moose said...

Oh yeah. People who think that dieting makes them morally superiour are just selfish drama queen jerks. Which you already knew about this miserable excuse for a human.

NoiseyWorld said...

That was the first good laugh I've had today, thank you for sharing this moron with the world :)
I'm impressed you managed to a) not spit food on him while laughing (what I'd probably do!) or b) take the opportunity to tell him what an idiot he was (what I'd want to do!)

rickismom said...

Yes, it is sometimes a VERY topsy-turvy world!

Shan said...

That is just hilarious!

And, as usual, your comments do not disappoint.