Without fail, I will hear from him at least twice a month. We met on Facebook when he requested to friend me and I accepted. When I accept someone I go to their page and if I see that they are involved in any way with disability or advocacy, or if they have some other commonality with me, I accept. I remembered him by the first visit to his page. He's a self-advocate with an intellectual disability and he's pretty outspoken. I liked that.
About a month later after I posted something, he sent me a message, "Are you gay?" he asked and I replied that I was. That was it. I didn't hear from him again for about six months. Then another message. "I'm gay too," he said. I said something about being out feeling good and again I didn't hear from him for a while.
Then again, "I'm gay," he said. "I know," I said. And that's when the pattern begins, he keeps telling me that he's gay. It's been a few years now and I have simply come to expect the message. Over time my responses have become more fulsome and I usually say something positive about being gay, and gay pride, and how much I love my husband.
But all I ever got back was, "I'm gay."
Last time he wrote I asked him if he had a boyfriend, or if he went out to the clubs. I wanted to broaden our conversation a little bit.
He wrote back immediately.
"OK," I thought, "He's not going to engage with me."
Then yesterday, two quick messages.
"They won't let me."
I wrote him back asking a few questions, but I've not heard anything back.
And now, I'm really worried about him.
"They" can be terrifying.
"They" can be cruel.
"They" who embrace their "They-ness" drink from powers segregated faucet.