I slept in this morning. Until 9:00 AM. I woke up to Joe reading and before even rolling over I asked him what time it was. There was a disturbing amount of light in the bedroom. He told me that it was just past 9 AM and I panicked, really panicked. I got up right away and as quickly as possible I was dressed and ready to face the rest of the day. No time for exercise. No time for a leisurely breakfast. Yes, I'm retired but I still have expectations to meet.
Normally I'm up between 6:30 and 7:00, and I like that. I check emails, look at Facebook, Then choose an exercise routine to start the day with. By the time 9 rolls round, I'm fully prepared for the day. This is my routine. I like my routine. I was thrown for a loop by this change.
Joe says that I slept in because I needed the sleep.
He thinks I should just get over it.
But it really has rattled me.
You probably think, "There he goes making too much of too little."
I have a response to that but am too polite to write it here.
I have always understood the importance of ritual and routine. I have always enjoyed the structure they give my days and it makes me feel like I fit into the flow of my day.
But I hear that so many disabled people living in their own homes but under the control of others, that they are too routinized. In my history as a Behaviour Therapist I've seen so many referrals wanting us to introduce change into the lives of people with disabilities, get them off the dependency of their routines. What? When investigated this is always for the benefit of the staff and rarely for the benefit of others.
"He always goes to McDonalds."
"She always wants coffee from Tims."
Big whoop.
Who cares?
Oh, you'd like to go somewhere different.
There's a solution to that.
Your own time.
So much change swirls in the air around people with disabilities that their desire for routine is simply healthy and way to feel that they have some control, some predictability. I think I'd have a hamburger every day if I never had the same staff more than for a week or two, or if I get moved when my bed is needed for someone else and I'm moved without my consent.
Leave people alone for gosh sakes.
Let them have rituals.
And don't try to tell me that my feeling discombobulated today is silly. But if you do, get ready for an unadulterated two word response.
I am so afraid of this happening that many days I set an alarm for later than I will probably sleep naturally but earlier than a certain time I wouldn't want to sleep past. So I might not want to start doing anything til 9, but I'll set my alarm for 8, even knowing I'll probably be wide awake by 7. I feel groggy and off if I sleep in too late!
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