I'm a little scared.
I've not been feeling well.
And my doctor is away right now.
The clinic I go to is great, the woman who books our appointments asked if I would like to see a different doctor on their team. Inside I shouted 'NO, I WANT MY DOCTOR TO COME HOME.' but outside I said, 'sure, of course.' I have an appointment for tomorrow.
My doctor sees and treats me like I am fully human, he speaks respectfully to me, listens to my answers carefully. He has made the experience of receiving health care feel like it's a collaborative venture. On top of that, he just knows a lot of stuff and stays up to date on research.
I trust him
I trust him because both Joe and I feel that we get really good health care from him. Never better.
I trust him because I don't expect to be humiliated when I see him.
It took a long time to find this guy.
But now, because I'm not feeling well, I have to roll into a room with a doctor I don't know and I feel that I am at risk. Will he be able to see me, hear me, or will he be deep in conversation with prejudice and preconception? Will my voice be able to push itself into the visit?
I don't know.
And that scares me.