She slid the display over and I entered the aisle, following her. She said that we had to be quick because she didn't want the display to block other shoppers. I said, "Oh, yes we wouldn't want to inconvenience those who walk, do we?" sarcasm dripping from my lips. She said, "Just because we can walk doesn't mean anything, we all have some kind of disability."
Now I hate that shit.
We're all disabled in some way.
We are maybe the only minority that people say that shit about.
Man: Oh we're all Women in some way, look, I like pink.
Straight woman: Oh we're all Lesbians in some way, look, when I bake, I like to lick out the bowl.
White person: Oh we're all Black in some way, look, I tan.
Those are ridiculous statements, offensive in every way. But when people say, 'we're all disabled in some way' they are presuming membership that they are not entitled to. Non disabled people not only exist but they exist in such a privileged way that they can humble themselves by claiming disability status because their nails are too long to use a calculator and we're supposed to go gooey inside at their understanding. Fuck that.
Oh and same goes for:
I understand because my mother uses a wheelchair.
I understand because there were kids with Down Syndrome in my school.
I understand because I once walked by a rehab center.
Stop that shit.
I told her that I found that statement offensive and would she please stop saying that. She's carrying the two gifts I want to purchase now and following behind me. She is continuing on insisting I understand that disability means nothing because everyone is disabled, that there is no meaning to disability, no difference arising from disability, because she ...
"OK, I'm done," I can shop elsewhere.
I turned and left the store.
She actually called after me, "Don't you want these anymore?"
No.
I didn't.
Ugh....just ugly.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you left - hope you can find what you wanted elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteLeaving the house and going into a store shouldn't be planning WWIII.
Just as if they wouldn't put a 6-foot wall which requires scaling with a rope in the path of most of their customers, they shouldn't narrow aisles below anything reasonable (and lawful) with their seasonal displays.
They think it allows them to display the maximum amount of merchandise. I think it makes it much more likely that customers will make a mess - because there is no room not to. So a bad idea even without us.
And there might not have been an "elsewhere" to shop, for you or for any one.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when stores block aisles with displays.
ReplyDeleteand when you complain, they shrug.
and if you accidentally knock a display over, they get cross.
One of the worst offenders I've encountered is a chemist/pharmacy - ironic, given that that is where elderly and disabled people go to get prescription and over the counter medicine: Friendlies Chemist Subiaco.
Willful cuss wasn't she? Ironically - looks like it's a disabling willfulness. She certainly is blind to something significant . . . .
ReplyDeleteYes those displays are annoying, I'm sure I have knocked over one or two of them. I like when they are lightweight because I can move them over myself. I too am not a fan of the "everyone has a disability" comment. Sometimes I guess it's an attempt to relate and say we're not that different from you, this time it seems like an excuse not to keep things accessible. I've seen the expression used to try to say that character flaws are disabilities, so everyone has one... never made any sense to me. Wouldn't that mean that people who have actual physical, sensory, mental disabilities, since they must also have character flaws, have extra disabilities? Or is it supposed to mean that people with those actual, obvious disabilities have better characters/are somehow made better people because of their disabilities? Anyway, I don't like the expression!
ReplyDeleteI haven't heard people describe character flaws as "disabilities" before, but my reaction is about the same as yours--it doesn't make sense to me, and I don't like it.
ReplyDeleteIn thinking about it, I think one of the reasons I don't like it is because it posits the whole concept of "disability" as something wrong or "bad" in an individual person, in complete disregard for whatever role an inaccessible environment might play in creating what could be easily avoidable difficulties in our lives. So I think I dislike it both because it confuses the concept of what a disability even IS, and because it implies that disability automatically means something "wrong" or "bad" about the person.
Ooooh...I HATE that. Do NOT pretend that disability doesn't exist. Don't pretend that we are "all the same" and that you understand the barriers that people with disabilities face each and every day. Unless you actually have a disability, you do not and can not ever understand.
ReplyDelete