Thursday, March 16, 2017

Lovely Scrotum Eyes

We are not "product people." When we get ready in the morning it takes minutes, the expression "shit, shave and shampoo" fits us well. So when I was in Boots in Heathrow to buy both shaving gel and balm, because we'd run out on the road, I was taken by the buy 2 and get the 3rd free offer. The only other product in that product line was an 'anti-aging' gel. I grabbed it and went to the till. I'd never purchased such a thing before but what the hell, it's free. I hadn't looked to see that it was get the one of lesser price free, and that the anti-aging gel was really expensive. Oh, well. I had it now.

This morning I decided to use it and after turning it over to read the back to find out how to use such a creature, I started laughing. Joe came in to find me, sitting naked on the side of the bed, freshly shaven and howling with laughter. I handed him the anti-age cream and he looked at it and then back at me flummoxed. I'm not that cheery in the morning. I pointed out to him that it was an 'anti-aging' cream and the writing on the back was so small that no one over the age of 40 would be able to read it. It was written in white on a black background in tiny, microscopic text. Didn't they think about who was going to use this cream and what kind of print would they need to be able to access the information on the back?

We got our magnifying glass, and it was too small for the magnifying glass. So we had no idea how it was to be used. Was this for the bags under my eyes or ... well, you get the question. I mean it was for men, so it really could have been a cream to make your scrotum look young and perky again. We definitely didn't didn't want to use scrotum cream around our eyes. It's cold outside.

Accessibility ain't just ramps.

Accessibility ain't just for people with disabilities.

Accessibility is also for naked men sitting on the side of the bed trying to read exactly where to put anti-aging cream.

And if accessibility includes that, it includes, in some way, everyone.

4 comments:

Andrea Shettle, MSW said...

I find that sometimes a really strong light can be really helpful if I need to read something that small, though maybe you already tried that along with the microscope. Boy, that sounds really small! And, yes, it's an accessibility issue. It never ceases to astound me how often people designing products just don't stop to think about who will use that product and whether they might need accommodations in understanding the instructions and otherwise using that product! I've seen ads about hearing aids, for example, without human-edited captions to aid people who can't hear in understanding them! Or audiology offices that haven't bothered to turn the captions on in the television in the waiting room! (Once I saw that, I knew never to go to that audiology center for my services.)

Random side note: although black text against a white background tends to work best for the vast majority of readers--including for many readers who have low vision--I gather there are apparently some people with certain specific types of vision impairment (I don't remember which, though) who actually find it easier to read light text on a dark background. However, I doubt they were thinking about that!

Unknown said...

OK, now that I have wiped the coffee off my computer screen......you do have a way with words!
i think those anti-aging products are marketed to folks from their mid 30s to mid 60s, who are can be obsessed with 'not looking old'. By the time you get to your mid 60s you usually realize that time tells a story on your body, no matter what expensive creams and treatments you might employ.....
personally, i think i've earned every wrinkle and age spot and gray hair...never thought i would live long enough to see my (approaching) 60th birthday!
thanks for starting my day off with a great laugh, Dave.
clairesmum

Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt said...

You were supposed to start using the cream around 20-25, when you could still read print that tiny. It's too late.

I have the same problem with heating instructions on microwaveable food: huge advertising letters all over the box - but the instructions are in 3 pt. type, so I keep a pair of reading glasses in the kitchen just for that. Irritating.

Next time, hand it to the cashier and make the cashier read the instructions to you. That should lead to some interesting conversations.

Andrea Shettle, MSW said...

No, no, no, don't just hand it to the cashier. Hit record on your phone video first! THEN hand it to the cashier and start that interesting conversation ... ! And of course provide human-edited captions afterwards so us deaf folks know what was said!