Sunday, February 12, 2017

Well, when ...

Joe waited outside with our shopping and I went in to go to the toilet. I checked the disabled stall and it was empty. Then I busied myself by getting the door open while turning my chair to back into the space beside the toilet. As I was doing this a man of about my age stopped to watch me do what I was doing. Others had come in, it was a busy washroom, but none had taken interest in what I was doing. He however was fascinated. I pretended he wasn't there because, well, what else do you do? I knew that I was seconds away from being in and closing the door.

Then he asked me a question, "How do you do it"

"He is asking me how I take a shit," I thought to myself, a bit shocked, and thought further "What a personal question."

"Pardon? I asked, incredulously.

"How do you do it?" he said and this time I heard what he said.

"How do I do it," I said looking at him in some earnest and he nodded, looking back and forth between me and the toilet, "Well the best way to explain is that when a daddy loves a mommy ..."

Suddenly he heard, in his mind, the question he'd asked. His face blistered with heat and he rushed to a stall. The guy standing at the urinal was laughing so hard that he said through his laughter, "Shit, I'm going to piss on my shoes."

Me? I was just happy that I had a new answer to that question, "How do you do it, really , how?"

Can't wait for the next person.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

I don't expect to ever experience that odd intimacy of a men's restroom...but I sure could imagine this story in my mind's eye!!
Managed to keep the coffee in my mouth....what a great comeback!
Clairesmum

Sherry-Lynn K said...

LMAO... I am seriously amazed by some of the questions that people think are acceptable to ask. "How do you do it?" ????? Seriously???? WHO asks that???? Your response is about as perfect as it could have been. Hopefully he will NEVER ask anyone that again!!!

Sherry-Lynn K said...

After posting my previous comment, I read your post to my son. As of yet, he's never had anyone ask a ridiculously inappropriate personal question, but he wanted you to know that he's filing your response for use for the day it does happen. He's in stitches over it! :D

Glee said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

VFCC Weather VFCC said...

Heard you tell this story at 'Me and Mine' and 'You and yours' workshop in Cranberry, Pa last week. Even funnier in person. Haha

Frank_V said...

From my own blog, one awesome lady answered that question with: "Once you get the belly buttons lined up, everything just sort of fits".