Tuesday, October 11, 2016

When Not Doing Is Doing

I was pushing my way towards the movie we were going to see. Joe was in the line up getting tea. The carpet was plush and I was getting a real workout for my shoulders. I could feel that my thumbs were getting tired from the heavy pushing. But I'm enjoying taking the challenge and getting myself where I need to go, on my own speed, with my own strength. Joe is good with this, though it's taken him some getting used to. I think when he sees me struggle, especially against a thick carpet, he has to hold himself back from jumping in to help.

I was nearly to the turn when I felt the presence of someone coming up behind me. I turned to look and saw a man that had been a few ahead of Joe in the line up at the concession stand. He saw me see him and said, "Well, he isn't much good as a help is he?" He was clearly annoyed to the point of anger. I have to admit I kind of got angry too, this was Joe he was talking about. The guy who has supported me, in every way I've needed it, since I became disabled.

"Right now," I said with edge in my voice, "he is being more help than you can possibly imagine."

The fellow blew air and said, "What, getting popcorn?" I decided not to correct him, I don't eat popcorn any more. I said, "No."

"What's he doing then?" he asked, he'd slowed to my pace. I didn't stop pushing as we talked. This is something of a breakthrough for me. To push on carpet and still be able to speak is a bit of a victory.

"He's letting me do this by myself, without his help, that's harder for him than you might imagine."

His face did the mental calculations about what I was saying in front of me. It was kind of funny.

"Oh," he said finally, "I get it."

By then we were at the movie theatre and I decided to pull/push myself up the ramp. I do this by pulling on the handrail with my left hand while I push my right wheel with my right hand. He watched me for a second inch my way up.

"Can I ..." he started.

"See, it's hard not to help isn't it?" I asked as I continued, on my own up the ramp. He shook his head as if he couldn't comprehend why I would want to do this.

By the way ... I made it.


Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt said...

Just don't be so stubborn as to hurt yourself - and have it take time to recover you can't afford.

With the CFS, on vacation with the family, I had to tell them to go ahead, get the dinner table reservation, and LET ME MOVE AT MY OWN PACE. Which includes taking a rest each time my heart rate goes dangerously high.

I had a couple of scares - being so out of breath it hurt - because I tried to keep up with healthy people, and me on the walker. I can't do that - the cost is too high. Whereas if I stop and take the rests, I'm almost fine.

But you made your point with that guy!

Not all education proceeds from explaining things nicely to idiots. To his credit, he seems to have understood a bit.

Congratulations on making it on your own - but be careful.

Tanya Williams said...

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