I had a post in mind for today.
I wanted to write about something a little lighter, it's not all grim after all. And besides, I felt a little vulnerable after writing yesterdays post and wanted to write something that didn't engage so many emotions.
And then ... that got knocked right out of my head.
This morning, on checking Facebook, I saw that someone had posted something to my page. There was a note saying that after yesterday's post, they thought that I should follow a particular link. Now, I do as much checking as I can when I get Facebook friend requests, because I don't actually know most people who are linked on that page. I look to see if they have a disability or have some other connection to the disability field. If not, I look to see what content I can from their pages and unless something sends up a red flag, I accept the friend request. So, this isn't someone totally random. This is someone willing to attach their name to the post they are tacking onto my page.
So, feeling safe, I clicked.
To a page extolling some weird diet product.
I wasn't expecting it.
I usually expect it, but I wasn't.
And it hit me so hard.
It doesn't matter if you turn the other cheek when the punch comes to the gut.
After all that I wrote yesterday, after trying to explain how certain responses are hurtful and mean and convey not support but prejudice.
This is what I got.
I don't usually do this, and maybe I shouldn't have, but I unFriended that person. I didn't even want to engage in a discussion.
It's hard to be heard.
When you are different.
When you are disabled.
People always talk about voice, when voice isn't ever the issue, it's never about me using my voice, it's your openness to hearing what my voice says.
Sometimes it's like screaming into a void.
I give up.