I'm afraid that I have to let loose with a bit of a rant today. I know what I'm going to describe is going to sound petty and like I have a really thin skin, a really low bar for annoyance. But it isn't the magnitude of the irritant, it's the frequency.
We were entering a building through a door that I'd never used before. They have a auto door complete with a well placed and well marked, disability symboled, push pad. But as we approached we saw that the door had yellow tape wound through the handles and a sign saying "please use other door." So, we did.
The entrance we typically go through, when activated, makes things easy by having both of the double doors open. There are a few of these in our neighbourhood and I love them. I can get through one door, but that involves driving and paying attention, when both open, I sail through.
So when we got to the other entrance we see that it to has two (2) doors. One swings open to the east, the other swings open to the west. Joe holds the door open, and I start through. Predictably someone comes to those doors and stands, beside the other door which works just fine and waits for me to get through. He's choosing to be inconvenienced. There's another door. Right there. Beside me. A fully functioning door. He doesn't need to wait. He doesn't need to look impatient. He doesn't need to glance at his watch to let me know he's in a hurry because, and let me be frank, there's another fucking door.
A line up in forming.
I stop, half way through, my heart racing. I put my hand on the door beside me, the one we aren't using and I say, "There's another door." He just looks at me like I'd spoken 'crippleish,' a language he just can't comprehend. I glance to the others waiting. 'There's another door.' They all choose to wait. Wait and watch. Wait and be impatient. Wait for the door I'm using. I don't move for a second. I think they don't understand me. I push at the door, hard, and it swings open. 'THERE'S ANOTHER DOOR.'
No one moves to go through it. I start up the chair again and get through the door, those waiting then rush the door and hurry out to their important appointments and their important lives finally free of my use of 'their door.' And I mean that, it was made clear to me that this was 'their' door and I was taking too much time with their fucking door.
We got to the elevator and I said to Joe, "Sometimes the hardest thing about being disabled is holding yourself back at just screaming at people."
Joe thought for a moment and said, "Well, maybe you should some times."
Choosing to be inconvenienced is just a socially subtle way of saying 'You take too much time, too much space, you shouldn't be here.'
Well, let me tell you, I am here and, remember, IT'S MY FUCKING DOOR TOO.
Probably the wrong group of folk to scream at...... ;-)
ReplyDeleteLet it all out next time it happens.
I have done my block at a bunch of people in a small book shop once. I was talking to the Manager about a serious access issue in her brand new bookshop and was getting patronising responses. I started asking the other customers what they thought about the situation (because they were all listening). When I got a patronising ableist response I then went even more full on. Bahahaha. There was a bloke in the corner who had picked up the biggest book he could find to hide behind but I saw him and yelled "You behind that book in the corner. Yes you! What do you think?" Ah it is hilarious in hindsight but I was fucking FURIOUS at the time.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am going along a footpath (sidewalk), if I look at people they don't move to accommodate my passage, I need to move.
So I don't look at those coming towards me. I can see them don't worry and I can see if they are going to move or not. But because I am not looking at them, they move.
Also I must have some "look" on my face that ... I don't know what really. That's not to say that going along a busy footpath is a pain in the arse!
It amazes me that for so called Normal people, you know the ones that are perfect and right, they are so just plain stupid. Stricken with it because a disabled person has appeared in front of them.
I just don't get it. Aren't they "the ones who can do everything"? If so then why cannot they cope with us? It just makes me shake my head.
Next time, just stay 'stuck' in the door until everyone goes through the OTHER door.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of shmucks (I believe the word is).
Too bad we can't hand them a copy of this post.
It's obvious that you hang around too many "important" people!! Good for you for not bowing to their self importance!
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteI sometimes want to roar my frustration out too. I am glad you voiced yours!!!
Julia
Damn straight!
ReplyDelete