Today's Blog is a Request from a Student Studying Disability:
5 Questions For People Who Have Disabilities?
1) What is the most disabling aspect of your disability?
I remember reading a character in a book, who's blind answering this question with a "I can't fucking see." It's a very funny moment in the book - I can't remember the character or the book. I'm going to move away from disability to answer: barriers and attitudes that prevent free access of movement and participation.
2) Do you sometimes wish you weren't disabled?
I don't like these kinds of questions. I sometimes wish all sorts of things, I have wished to be think, I have wished to have hair, I wished - when I was very young - to be straight. But I have also wished to win an academy award, to write a best selling book, to ride in a dog sled. I'm not sure wishing means anything other than a response to a moment. So, yes, on occasion I have - I need to tell the truth. But it was a momentary wish not an indicator of lifetime longing.
3) Is there a responsibility that comes with disability to actively work for change in how the world sees and treats people with disabilities.
Yes, but activism is sometimes thought out and a result of personal action - writing a letter to a store chain, demanding to see and speak to a manager, organizing with others with disabilities for some kind of action. But activism is also done just be going out and doing what you want to do when you want to do it. Living life freely, and publicly, challenges a thousand stereotypes all at once.
4) If a millionaire was to give you one gift, what would it be?
If I had a millionaire as a friend wanting to give gifts, I'd look forward to every birthday with increased excitement. I would like the gift of a wheelchair accessible van.
5) What advice would you give to a young person with a disability similar to your own?
You will hear a lot of voices telling you about you --- the most important voice to listen to, and it can be hard to hear over the crowd of people around you --- is you own voice. Trust yourself, try it yourself, take heed of your hopes and dreams - they make you you.
6 comments:
I find the questions themselves unsettling. I love your responses.
Thanks for your blog - I have been enjoying it for some time. Just thought you'd enjoy knowing that in Kingston, ON your closing paragraph about listening to your voice is now posted in my office, for staff and clients alike to consider. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and never tiring.
The questions show how it is almost impossible to understand another's life from the outside. You can't even frame questions that elicit the answers you need in order to understand that person's life.
I agree with Deb.
I'll play. Trying to understand is always good.
1) What is the most disabling aspect of your disability?
Other people's reactions and trying to manage them. Sometimes my own reactions and trying to manage them.
Closely followed by exhaustion.
2) Do you sometimes wish you weren't disabled?
Yes, but probably not in the way you think. If you could think the way I do, you probably wouldn't be asking that question.
3) Is there a responsibility that comes with disability to actively work for change in how the world sees and treats people with disabilities.
There's a responsibility which comes with being an aware human being. It's not greater because of how one becomes aware.
It's also proportionate to one's resources.
As Dave said, living life IS the fight, for everyone, officially 'disabled' or not.
4) If a millionaire was to give you one gift, what would it be?
I have no idea.
5) What advice would you give to a young person with a disability similar to your own?
Take time, and trust yourself. You know far more than you think you do, and other people know far less than you think they do.
Now, guess the disability/ies. Does it matter?
Me too.
1) What is the most disabling aspect of your disability?
Other people's expectations. I look normal, so they expect me to act normal, and I can't.
2) Do you sometimes wish you weren't disabled?
I wish I didn't have PTSD. But I've never wished I wasn't autistic.
3) Is there a responsibility that comes with disability to actively work for change in how the world sees and treats people with disabilities?
No. All people have a responsibility not to actively harm others, but no one has the responsibility to work for better. But it's better to be a good person than a 'good-enough' person.
4) If a millionaire was to give you one gift, what would it be?
The gifts I most want can't be bought. What I'd like most is to be some kind of immortal who can choose to 'turn' others into whatever I am. (Vampire, for example.) But if I have to limit it to something that's actually possible, I want to be a mother.
I dunno - maybe I'd ask them to hire me a maid for the rest of my life. It would make things a lot easier on me.
5) What advice would you give to a young person with a disability similar to your own?
Be who you are - don't try to fake normal. It's never worth it - nothing that you really want in life can be won by wearing a mask.
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