A Close Shave

Yesterday I was busy getting ready to head down to CBC radio to record a piece for the holiday segment of the series 'The Confessional.' I was excited because I was going to be telling a story I like to tell AND it's a story that, hopefully,  will get to listeners who may have never thought about intellectual disability, institutionalization and community before. The opportunity to talk to the whole country is an awesome one. So, I was excited.

We knew that we were going to have to get down there via sidewalks and intersections because my recording time in the studio meant that if I took the subway, it would be in rush hour and I'd never get on. People are really, really, protective of their time and space during rush hour. So we had it timed to the tee. I went and got showered and then then I shaved. I chose to use my expensive shaving lather - which I use only on special occasions because it's expensive. I also decided to use the fragrance-free after shave lotion that I use, again, for special. I was pleased. I looked, at least, well groomed.

Then I got my pants and shirt on. Next were socks and black slippers. Were ready to go after we both got bundled up. I was wearing a thick black shirt, to go with my black jeans, and I used two scarves. One a hand knitted yellow scarf given to me as a gift, it provides warmth and it's a reminder of warmth. The other a big, big green scarf. I wore the yellow under my coat, the green over my coat. Layers, you dress in layers here. It was COLD. And I'm talking Canadian COLD. The wind was strong and battered at us. My gloves were working hard to keep frostbite at bay. The wind almost slipped and fell as it slid across my closely shaved and slightly moisturised face.

I had to go slow because Joe was walking and the sidewalks were slippery. He kept on insisting that I go ahead and he'd meet me there. He wanted to get me out of the cold. But I was afraid that he'd fall and break a hip so I just said no and reminded him that if he fell to grab onto me or to the chair. We tentatively made our way along. A walk that in summer would have been half an hour at most took us almost a full hour.

But we were there. We checked in and the guard called up to the production team. A lovely woman came down and greeted us and we went up. I think I saw her notice how lovely and smooth my very red cheeks were. In the studio I had a bit of trouble getting the wheelchair in place so the tech guy, a really nice man, went to get something to set the mike up for us. I took off my green scarf, my coat, my yellow scarf and piled them up. I then reached into my shirt pocket for my glasses and couldn't find my pocket.

Where had it gone?

I'd put my shirt on inside out!

Joe was with me and I realized I couldn't quickly take it off and turn it right side round because the tech guy could walk in and we were on the other side of the production room and it had a huge glass window. Anyone could walk in.

I quickly grabbed the yellow scarf and wore it, trying to cover the fact that my shirt was on backwards.

So.

That's me.

Even when I try - I end up with an inside out shirt.

I remember once meeting someone really, really, important and then realizing, afterwards that I had egg yolk forming a nipple guard on my shirt.

That's me.

But what the hell. I may have looked a little odd with my shirt the way it was but I had a helluva shave.