Big Bathrooms

Shame shows itself in so many different ways.

I was checking into a hotel and the room that had been booked wasn't available, for a reason that I didn't understand but which was explained to me in oddly confusing and completely intimate detail, but I was assured that they had another room with a 'big bathroom.'

I asked and I asked and I asked, specific questions, and the woman at the desk kept answering me by telling me that YES it was a big bathroom.

Is it an accessible bathroom?

Yes, it is a big bathroom.

Does it have bars around the toilet?

Yes, it is a big bathroom.

Does it have a wide door for wheelchair entry?

Yes, it is a big bathroom.

Does it have bars in the shower?

Yes, it is a big bathroom.

I understood the 'yes' part but I didn't get the 'big bathroom' part. I know that accessible loos are often bigger, but I wanted clarity before I hauled ass up to the room. Joe said, in frustration, that's he'd go up to the room to check it. He, like I, was concerned and confused by the 'big bathroom' statement. I waited to the side for him to return, he came back and gave me the thumbs up signal as soon as he stepped off the elevator.

I went back to the desk and said, "OK, so it's an accessible bathroom."

She said, "Yes, it's a big bathroom."

I then said "Why can't you just say it's 'accessible?' When you say it's 'big' it doesn't mean anything to me. I need to hear the word, 'accessible.'"

With great discomfort she said, "The bathroom is accessible," lowering her voice like she'd said something dirty, continuing with, "for ..." here she pointed at my wheelchair looking embarrassed.

This woman works in the hospitality industry, surely to heavens she can say the word WHEELCHAIR!

I was feeling extraordinarily patient and the woman hadn't been overtly hostile in any way, just extremely embarrassed about accessibility and wheelchairs. Like she didn't want to offend me by noticing I had a disability and needed to poo in an accessible loo. I explained to her that the word 'accessible' was one that gave me COMFORT AND REASSURANCE and that my wheelchair was just my wheelchair, it's not a source of shame.

She smiled at me as if she thought I was brave.

Sometimes, really, sometimes, you can't win.