My New Watch

 

Joe and I went to get our haircuts and, as is my way, I went shopping while Joe got his curly tresses shorn. He takes MUCH longer to get a hair cut than I do. He gets styled, I get mowed. So I wandered through the mall and stopped short in front of a men's jewelry counter. There in front of me was this beautiful watch. I have a perfectly good watch. I like my watch. But I LOVED the one on display.

The fellow working the counter looked over at me, appraising me in the same way as I was appraising the watch. I know what he saw. Someone, big, someone in a wheelchair, someone wearing a kind of worn out, but well loved, sweater. Someone who couldn't afford an expensive watch. He called someone else to serve me. She came around the corner, saw me and then looked over at him and said, "This guy here?" There was incredulity in her voice.

Now I know I should have thought to myself, "Frag this and frag their attitude." The fact that I stayed is a testament to how much I loved that watch. I had her get it out of the counter and hand it to me to try on. It fit with room to spare. It looked great on my wrist. I wanted it.

I asked how much it cost.

YIKES!!!

It was way more than I expected. And I expected expensive. I felt her watching my face when the figure came out. I had this incredible urge to buy the watch just to show her that I could afford it. But it was expensive. I took a breath. I didn't want to buy it to prove to a total stranger who I will never see again something about myself. I didn't want that kind of petty motivation to have me digging in my wallet. I wanted to buy the watch, if I bought it, because I really liked it.

I had to think through several things:

Joe will pee himself when he hears how much I spent on a watch just before leaving on a trip.

She thinks I can't afford it.

I really like the watch.

It's really expensive and we've got a long trip ahead of us, it's not a good use of our financial resources.

The other guy thinks I can't afford it either.

I really like the watch.

I felt like I was in a game show that existed only in my head. I pushed away Joe's shock - he knows I don't splurge on myself often. I pushed away these two strangers and their preconceptions about the size of my wallet. I pushed all that aside and realised.

I really like the watch.

"I'm going to buy this," I said. Making the decision. She looked surprised. He looked shocked. I rolled over to the till and got my debit card out. I could almost hear them holding their breath as I put in the PIN number to pay both for the watch and the 2 year warranty on it.

The word 'approved' appeared on the screen.

I have a new watch.

I bought it because I loved it.

I think.