Saturday morning.
I've been working for several hours already.
When I was a child I taught to believe that adulthood would be full of fun, freedom and (euphemistically) frolic. They lied.
I realized, on Thursday, that I'd have to work much of the weekend. I get that. It's my job. But I had promised that Joe and I would go to the beach and go on the boardwalk together and maybe have a veggie hot dog from one of the vendors. We go there once or twice a year, I like to sit in the shade and read, occasionally looking up to take in the view. Since my wheelchair days, I haven't gone on the boardwalk as it's a very long walk and not an easy, for me, push. However, we've figured a way to get my power chair down there so I'll be going on the boardwalk with Joe and I'm looking forward to it.
I will be doing this knowing that I have work at home to do, that I have deadlines to meet, that people are counting on me to come in on Monday with what needed to be done, done. And it will be. I got up at 3 this morning, leaving Joe sleeping in bed, to begin the work, and I've got a good start on it. That's good. Because when we go to the Boardwalk, I want to enjoy it. I don't want to be there, wishing to be here. I don't want Joe to think that I'm dragging behind me a slight resentment that I'm not at the computer typing.
Slowly I'm developing the skill of fully being at work, when I'm working and the skill of not working when I'm not working. That might sound easy. And maybe for you it is. For me, it isn't. But I'm up for the challenge. In fact, I just broke from the work I'm supposed to be doing. I was stuck on something and thought I'd distract myself by coming here, hoping that the part of my brain that needed time to think will be thinking while my 'blog brain' was over here. It did. It's nudging me to go back to work. And that's what I'm going to do. Because beach time is coming.
So I'm aiming to beach while at the beach and work while I'm at work. Let's see how that goes. I'll let you know tomorrow if I managed. If I do, I'll be pleased, Joe will be ecstatic.
Sounds like you are learning to play!!!
ReplyDeleteAtta boy Dave. That's exactly how I live my life - it's not always easy and sometimes causes resentment but we work to live, we don't live to work. There has to be a balance.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the boardwalk and say hi to Joe.
Today I wanted to take a moment to congratulate Dave once more, on winning an award at work yesterday. The award represented the dedication and seemingly unending reserve of energy he has put into the work he does to create a safe and fulfilling world for people with disabilities. Yes I mean world. The impact of his work can be felt by people world-wide I am sure of that. Dave you have also opened up my world with the opportunities your have offered me. This given me a space for my belief system to launch into meaningful work so my little world has been changed by you.
ReplyDeleteThank you and have a great time on the board walk YOU DESERVE IT! HI to Joe...and congrats on 44 years together
Ann, thank you for sharing this info. Maybe Dave's unending reserve of energy is because he has developed the skill of fully working when he's working and not working when he's not working. This is a lesson for me as I have not yet developed this skill. I seem to work WAY too much when I'm not working because the work is never done. Is it any more done because of my working when I shouldn't? No, so lesson learned. Now for the practice. Enjoy the beach, Dave and Joe.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to what award you won at work. Please share.
ReplyDeleteI have a question which might offend - I don't know....I hope not! So I'll ask it in a deferential tone.
ReplyDelete"not working when I'm not working"...I know that you do a lot of 'educating others' while you're out and about; you've written about wanting to do it, doing it, and sometimes not doing it because you don't want to. And you've been criticised in the comments for pretty much all of the above!
Do you consider the education of others (i.e., speaking to a hot-dog stand proprietor at the beach today about accessibility if called for) to be part of work? Like, do you and/or Joe consider "Disability Activist" as your job, along with "Director of Clinical and Educational Services"? Or is more like a calling and therefore can't be relegated to 9-5?
I don't mean to be impertinent and REALLY don't wish to appear to be casting aspersions. It just seems that it could be exhausting for both of you to feel that obligation to Be The Change You Wish To See In The World, even when you and Joe just want to st/roll along the boardwalk!
(Like what I did there?!)
:-)
Shan,
ReplyDeleteWhen I talk about 'work' I mean the thing I do for a living. What I do while living may also be 'work' but I don't see it as the same. As I rolled over the horribly cut curb I began to say to Joe, 'someone needs to talk to them about these curbs' and before he could say anything I say, 'but not me, not today'. So I do differentiate these things in my mind. Not an offensive question at all - thanks, Dave
Oh, I hope you made it to the beach.
ReplyDeleteHope you truly enjoyed yourselves at the beach and boardwalk♥
ReplyDelete