This is a post about hands.
I've always known that hands can help.
That hands can support.
That hands can offer gentle, soothing touch.
But they can do more.
Today I took my power chair to work for the first time. I rolled up to the WheelTrans bus and the driver came out asking me if I wanted to ride in the front or the back. There was someone already on board, on a large scooter strapped into the middle spot. I told the driver that I preferred the front but would take the back as I didn't see how I could get onto the bus and then into that space. There wasn't room.
He said, 'It's entirely possible, you just need to back up the ramp and swing right into place.'
I've never done that before, I told him so, and started heading to the back of the bus. He said, 'Hold on, not having done it isn't the same as can't do it, give it a try.'
I was pretty sure that I didn't have the skill and that my chair, which isn't powerful in reverse, wouldn't make it up the ramp. I told him that I thought what he was suggesting wasn't possible.
He said, 'I will guide you back, it will work just fine.'
I said, 'So you want me to just put myself in your hands.'
He said, 'My hands will guide you, your hands will do it.'
I lined up with the ramp and slowly backed up. I felt myself slide forward on the cushion, I was glad of the seat belt. My chair struggled a little but suddenly we were on the bus and I was swinging right into place. I was outrageously proud of myself and almost silly with glee. As he strapped me down on the bus, I got my token out to pay for the ride. He finished and reached out his hand and I placed it in his palm.
His hands had guided me into a realization that sometimes I give up too easily and sometimes I acquiesce to fear.
Hands can support.
And those same hands can give confidence.
I placed myself in the hands of another.
And wasn't diminished by the fact.
That is, to me, the ultimate goal of service.