Joe and I went for a stroll after dinner last night. For the first time, ever, I am away from Toronto AND I have my power chair. I'd used it all day at the retreat and wanted to go out a bit after supper. This is a huge break from our tradition. We live very quiet, very simple, lives. We have supper, we watch a bit of television, we go to bed and read then the lights go off. We both have very busy, and often very intense, days - so our evenings are full of calm companionship.
We strolled down to the Casino, with no intention of gambling - neither of us 'get it', but instead to visit the shops that are attached to it. I am a shopper. I love to shop. Joe will either join me or, like a patient husband, sit on a bench and people watch while I spend the family fortune. Because I was motorized, he only joined me when I was making a decision on a purchase - to give his opinion - which is often simply a version of, 'Yes, dear. Whatever you like, dear.'
On our way back, we chatted, simply, about stuff.
Again, and again, and again, I am reminded about the ordinariness of this life of mine. Yes, I get my differences, and yes, I honour my differences, and yes, I wouldn't want to be any other way than the way I am.
Yes.
I'm gay.
Yes.
I'm disabled.
Yes.
Those things make me different.
But.
No.
It doesn't make my life different.
Yes.
I experience the world differently than others.
But.
No.
That difference doesn't mean what people think it means.
I just do the same. Differently.
I love our life together. I love our routines. I love the fact that we've made the same joke for over 40 years and we still find it funny. I love the fact that we can be quiet together - but often aren't. I love the fact that our lives have evolved into parallel paths. I love the fact that two oldish men can stroll home, on a cool evening in Niagara Falls - after 44 years together - and still be on our honeymoon.
Love you, Dave!
ReplyDeleteDave,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you and Joe can have this both very special and very common feeling together.
It is the same feeling I have when my friends (who happen to be gay) come to visit me or I visit them and see them acting together. It seems so right to see how good they live togther and still it is special, because I am still not used to think about man and man and woman and woman in my head.
But times will change and hopfully the next generations will just see it as an every day aspect of life. Different people living toghether in equal ways.
I know that people like you and Joe, like an american or german president and like me and everyone else just going on enjoying their lifes contribute to it.
And sometimes even I am able to experience a warm feeling towards this life.
Julia
Congratulations, newlyweds! ;)
ReplyDeleteAdorable couple. It is heart warming to read you talking about your relationship. aw.
ReplyDeleteI am inspired. I hope that my wife and I have a similar love in 30 years from now.....Happy Honeymoon!! Wonderful post to start the week!! Thank you...
ReplyDeleteWhere you say this:
ReplyDelete"he only joined me when I was making a decision on a purchase - to give his opinion - which is often simply a version of, 'Yes, dear. Whatever you like, dear.'"
Very familiar--because I've been on both sides of this!
I love how you and Joe are still on your "honeymoon" after so many years (decades, generations)
beautiful post Dave. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your contentment, joy and the lovely evening you both enjoyed, Dave. It made me smile this morning. :)
ReplyDelete