Friday, December 18, 2009

Excuse Me Sir ...

'My friend who was really obese like you just died.'

Now there's an opening line you want to hear while stuffing your face with a cheese and cracker at a Christmas party. I had to fight back anger and keep my mouth shut. I didn't know this woman, she clearly had something to say, I wanted to hear her through before lambasting her for her lack of social niceties. Along the way her ramble took me to a friendship of many years, to a woman who was a nurse and had 'fought the battle with her weight her entire life', who had gone for bariatric surgery and died soon after, who had a scooter that was designed for someone very large, as executrix of her estate she needed to find someone to take the scooter, one of the big charitable agencies turned it down, do I want it could I use it.'

Whew.

I looked at her and her face was full of sorrow. She clearly missed her friend. She clearly took her duty as guardian of the estate seriously. She'd seen me around in my chair and wondered if I could use a scooter. I immediately pushed her bumbling start aside, realizing that I'm not sure I would have had the social skills necessary for beginning that conversation either. Her intent was kind even though her approach was less so.

We exchanged phone numbers and Joe and I talked about it. There were certainly some outings where a scooter would be preferable to a chair. Too, Joe has some difficulty with his knees and occasionally with his feet. A second mobility devise might come in very handy over the next few years. We decided to give it a go and check it out.

After work today Joe and I will head down to this woman's apartment and take a look at the scooter, Joe maybe driving it home with us. What fun.

We're thinking of taking on the Hell's Angels for control of Downtown Toronto, look out for the Crippled Avengers!

13 comments:

  1. You GO guys!!!!! Let us know what TATS you get to go with the new wheels ;-)!
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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  2. I don't come to Toronto often, but from now on I will be extra careful when I do!

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  3. I like the name 'Crippled Avengers'. Don't forget your helmet!

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  4. sorry, I had to use anonymous - I'm apparently technologically challenged this morning and can't get this right....bevbct

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  5. Well, I would send you guys shirts like we had made up for Christopher - they have the shadow of a stick figure in a wheelchair with the caption "Chicks Dig My Wheels" ummmm, I don't know if it would work for you and Joe! :) I'll have to look for some of those bandanas that the motorcycle guys wear - you fold them in half and tie them around your face under your eyes - it is the bottom part of a skull. I think Tim Allen wears one like it in Wild Hogs. LOL! Hope it all works out for you. :)

    Steph

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  6. Maybe you could start a Toronto branch of the "Crips" street gang...

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  7. How about that--your post made me think & smile at the same time! I shouldn't have been surprised, though--you're always good at that!

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  8. Dear Dave:

    I love that you could get past that beginning which would have made anyone's defenses go up, and get to the point where you could empathize with this woman. She clearly needed someone with strong shoulders.

    Colleen

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  9. The sidewalks won't be safe anymore if you two get wheels!

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  10. Everyone's onto the 'crippled avengers' thing which I suppose means they are better people than I am, because I winced so hard at that opener, I could hardly read the rest of the post for dreading.

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  11. Now all you guys need is matching leather jackets with a Crippled Avengers logo on the back!

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  12. I'm really moved that you managed to hear beyond our words. May we all - and many more out there - do the same!

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  13. As someone who has spent her whole life working on my social skills, I'm especially appreciative of you hearing this woman out. I've been lurking for a little while and am almost caught up reading your blog, and the few times I've disagreed with you have been times when you haven't given someone the benefit of the doubt in regards to what might be happening. I'm glad that you gave this woman a chance and that it turned out well for you.

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