Crying

I cried and cried.

Now before I tell you more, understand that I get weepy when I get sick. Little things make me cry big tears. Add to that that I had just been told by my doctor that I had a name brand virus and would have to cancel travel for 7 to 10 days. We had a big trip lined up for Friday and I hated the idea of cancelling. I know people have a right to get sick, and I am 'people' but even so ...

Now to the tears.

On our way to the doctor's office we were driving through congested traffic. Downtown Toronto is under construction this spring and if you are going anywhere, you are going slowly. As we drove south I noticed a near block long hedge covered in small pink flowers. I don't have any idea of what kind of flowers they are, beyond ... um, pretty, pink.

But there, about two thirds the way down the block was one flower, a brilliant yellow. It stood out amoungst the thousands and thousands of pretty, pink, flowers. I don't know how it came to be yellow. I don't know if it knew as a child that it would grow up to be different. I don't know if the other pretty, pink flowers scorned it or admired it's individuality. All I knew was that it stood out, beautifully, against the dark green leaves.

We were driving very slowly so I had time to really look at the flower and for awhile it looked defiant, for another little while it looked lonely, and for the final little while it looked simply like a little yellow flower. I smiled thinking about how kind it was of God to make a yellow flower amongst the pink. It made the pink more beautiful. It made the surprise of yellow like a gift. It seemed very, very right to me.

On the way out of the doctors office, we were both relieved to know that time, rest and liquid would make me well again. We headed north and I wanted to point the yellow flower out again to Joe. I noticed that a gardener was out trimming the hedge and I panicked. Oh, God, No.

It was gone. Instead of nestling in amongst the green it was lying discarded on the ground amongst the other cuttings. I started to cry.

It took Joe by surprise. All I could do was point. He saw the place where the flower was, then the place where it lay, he just clenched his jaw and drove silently.

While I cried.