Prepare to introduce your jaw to the floor.
My week of encounters with elderly folks continues. (Warning: coarse language ... post will not be to everyone's taste.) We arrived in Vancouver at the hotel where I'll be working tomorrow. After finding a parking spot we got to the elevator and waited beside a woman of considerable age and, judging by her clothing, considerable wealth. She glanced a hello to us, we glanced back. Subtle social interactions really are in my skill set though many would disbelieve.
The elevator openned and there were two youths, maybe 15 or 16, slouching against the wall. The woman said to them, is this elevator going up or down. One of them said through a sneer, "Don't be so retarded, this is the bottom floor." She said, sweetly, "Oh, dear, I didn't know." It was a large elevator so we were all able to get on.
Just as the door closed she looked at the boy who had spoken and said, "If you wanted to be both accurate and offensive you should have said, 'old twat'. You see, I clearly don't have a developemental disability, so something about my gender would have made more sense. Maybe, 'Droopy tits' or 'Wrinkle puss' those would have worked too. You see when you speak you don't want to be considered foolish."
The boys stared at her, horrified, I was dumbstruck, Joe turned vermillion. She wasn't done, "I understand the need to express anger or disapproval, I just wish you kids would be a little more rigourous with your name calling." The door opened and she called after them, "Remember, 'Old Twat' works too."
The door closed and she looked at us and said, "I'm sorry about that but I hate that word that he used. I always like to get them back."
When she got off we saw her walk away with a spring in her step.
I have a new hero.
That's GREAT! wow :)
ReplyDeleteSending my thanks to the old twat with droopy tits. What a woman!
ReplyDeleteOh, I want to grow up to be like that!
ReplyDeleteI want to grow up to be like her as well! Yayy for old ladies!
ReplyDeleteI am utterly speechless...as I'm sure those teenagers were! Two thumbs up for a gutsy old lady!
ReplyDeleteGood for her! This post had me nearly falling off my chair laughing. It's a shame not more people are so feisty.
ReplyDeleteI want to be that woman...thanks for making my day.
ReplyDeleteShe's my new hero, too.
ReplyDeleteHow awesome! She rocks, and your story telling is the bomb! I was totally there with that beautiful lady.... clearly not an old twat. :-)
ReplyDeleteWonderfulness.
ReplyDeleteNow THAT'S the kind of old lady I want to be. Guess I should start practicing...
ReplyDeleteI bet those teenagers shat themselves after they heard her say that! LOL!
ReplyDeleteThat woman ROCKS! What a lady. That is exactly the sort of woman I want to be as I gracefully (or not so gracefully) enter my sunset years.
ReplyDeleteI hope to one day be that woman.
ReplyDeleteOH WOW love it, excellent, good for her
ReplyDeleteEpic win! Standing up to teenagers is scary - you wouldn't catch me doing what the little old lady did! And I bet she had a spring in her step after that!
ReplyDeleteJeepers. "When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple, and a red hat with FOUL LANGUAGE DRIPPING FROM MY LIPSTICK-FEATHERED LIPS. And I shall disconcert everyone who crosses my path."
ReplyDeleteNot that she wasn't awesome. Obviously.
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that this lady was so quick on her feet! I always think of comebacks much too late to actually use them. Keep up the inspiring blogs Dave! They help alot of us!
ReplyDeleteThat's what you call PRESENCE!
ReplyDeleteFantastic post
Laughing out loud, rolling on the floor, trying not to pee my pants! What a great day, and a great lady.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing
LOVE that old twat!!!
ReplyDeleteAnjie (Adam's mom)
I think I'm in love with "Wrinkle Puss" :D
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLove it. What an incredible woman. Thanks for posting this and thanks to BrokenClay for linking me here!
ReplyDeletethat just made my day!!!!! I hope I can come up with something that clever someday ha!
ReplyDeleteGuess she doesn't need one of the R- word cards! She's is a force in her own right!
ReplyDeleteI love her....hope I can be that assertive if needs be!
LinMac
Dear Dave:
ReplyDeleteThanks for a great laugh! I also have a new hero!
Colleen
OLD TWATS UNITE!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Especially since I have a son with a Developemental Disability I wish I had a way to thank her for her spunk and example! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a COOOOOL old "wrinkle puss"!!! =))
ReplyDeleteThis really made my day!
tell you something...
ReplyDeletethat old woman had more bloody balls than those two lads will ever have between them in their whole lives!
go, that woman!
You should have busted out with something like "Haha, you just got ruled by an old lady! How does that feel?" or even better, "THAT JUST HAPPENED!!" Just to add insult to injury.
ReplyDeleteShe is the coolest!!
Funny! I wanna be like that!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.electroniccigarettesinc.com
Comment quotes -
ReplyDelete"I wish I had a way to thank her for her spunk"
"that old woman had more bloody balls than those two lads"
Giggedy!
A friend from LJ linked me to this. Brilliant, simply brilliant.
ReplyDeleteHow EXCELLENT!!! :o)
ReplyDeleteThis is absolute and utter WIN.
ReplyDelete"Maybe, 'Droopy tits' or 'Wrinkle puss' those would have worked too. You see when you speak you don't want to be considered foolish."
ReplyDeleteIt's like Mr. Rogers explaining the etiquette behind the reacharound. She's the "Tiffany's Table Manners" of insults.
Serious Upvotes for the Old Twat.
yeah, whatever, nice fan fic.
ReplyDeleteIf this was the bottom floor… why were they still on the elevator?
ReplyDeleteThat lady is absolutely incredible. I want to be like her when I grow up.
ReplyDeleteThis old twat deserves an entire internets round of golf claps. If that was me in the elevator along with her instead of the guy telling the story, I would have bowed on the spot.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, thanks for sharing that! This crass and self-centered populous needs a response in kind sometimes. It's sad that it comes to this, but good for her! Instead of whining about PC, or how everything is unfair to her (like so many do), she used wit and courage to show them just how wrong they were. Fair but forceful remarks changed me as a kid, and I hope we all learn from her example.
ReplyDeleteI like to think that she might be a retired -- but not retiring -- copy editor. And she waited for the elevator doors to close before she gave them what-for -- cool!
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog through a friend's link on facebook. I'll be following. Thanks for the great post.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Junior, you just got PWNED by Granny Weatherwax! --Lila
ReplyDeleteThat could have been my Mom. She taught special ed. for many years and hated that slur.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could invent come-backs that quickly. I usually think of them later!
ReplyDeleteWith the exception of the clothes looking relatively wealthy I would have swore that this encounter with with either my mother or my aunt.
ReplyDeleteWhen she got off the elevator, I would have bolted out after her, asked for her name and phone number, and if she wanted any friends/fans/minions.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet she's a huge amount of fun in casual conversation.
I think I might have a new hero too.
ReplyDeleteVery well. New OT looks fantastic!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your article.I love flowers...I am also intersted to send flowers all over the world....
ReplyDeleteGreat effort.
Best prise for generic cozaar made in india
ReplyDelete[url=http://buycozaar.groupsite.com]Buy Cozaar [/url]buy cozaar online safe
[url=http://my.opera.com/BuyCozaar/blog/2010/08/03/buy-cozaar-online-buy-cheap-losartan-25-50-100mg-0-69-per-pill]Buy Cozaar online [/url] non generic cozaar c-pill buy cozaar cheap generic cozaar without prescription buy cozaar sydney
cheapest regalis cozaar cheap no perscription cozaar cozaar best buy health shop port louis generic cozaar
generic cozaar wikipedia cozaar price online cozaar india prices http://my.opera.com/BuyCozaar/blog/2010/08/03/buy-cozaar-online-buy-cheap-losartan-25-50-100mg-0-69-per-pill cheap cozaar switch maestro kamatra vs generic cozaar cozaar generic differences http://buycozaar.groupsite.com wanted too buy cozaar buying cozaar in the dominican republic buy online us cozaar
Order Cipro Online no Prescription [url=http://buyciproonline.groupsite.com]Buy Cipro Online[/url] Cipro half price generix generic Cipro capsules Buy Cipro Online No Prescription buy cipro without india generic Cipro legal http://buyciproonline.groupsite.com buy Cipro egypt how can i buy Cipro online [url=http://Ciprodosagerecreational.groupsite.com
ReplyDelete]generic Cipro fake
[/url] gel generic tab Cipro search Cipro Cipro find 74k generic Cipro pfizer price
Cipro prescription price generic brands of Cipro http://Ciprocolors.groupsite.com
buy Cipro in perth
http://exm.grusha.no-ip.be/sitemap.html, example one
ReplyDeletehttp://foi.redis.no-ip.fr/sitemap.html, example two
http://fews.canyou.88n.eu/sitemap.html, example three
http://yhw.jesais.fr/aqwe/sitemap.html, example four
http://yopl.redis.no-ip.fr/sitemap.html, example five
http://maesa.oueb.eu/exam/sitemap.html, example six
http://hipo.trusi.no-ip.be/sitemap.html, example seven
http://trust.trusi.no-ip.be/sitemap.html, secury systems
loans till payday
ReplyDelete[url=http://paydayloan.groupsite.com]payday loan lending company applications guaranteed approval
[/url] payday loans for canada online
интим знакомства в красноярске интим знакомства в сочи [url=http://posterous.com/people/4woRc6jyTZUl]интим знакомства вологда
ReplyDelete[/url] гей знакомства интим интим знакомства кривой рог клуб интим знакомств интим знакомства иваново http://posterous.com/people/4woRc6jyTZUl интим знакомства в архангельске интим знакомства тамбов
интим знакомства для женщин астана интим знакомства [url=http://posterous.com/people/4woRc6jyTZUl]интим знакомства николаев
ReplyDelete[/url] интим знакомства в йошкар оле журнал интим знакомства интим знакомства с телефонами интим знакомства калуга http://posterous.com/people/4woRc6jyTZUl братск интим знакомства секс знакомства интим за деньги
Loved this! Reposted...
ReplyDeleteA good blog but a non interested post. burrrrr
ReplyDeleteSuch kind of articl is our need , it can give us help from different aspect for different people . after reading this article , I learn a mount of knowkedge increase my power , my families and I all like you article ,reading you article is our best love. May be you are Sports fans? Do you like NFL jerseys or Puma Shoes , Ecco shoes , Nike Sneakers ,these have the high quality,low price,professional service,Just For You if you like.Thank you again for writing this article!
ReplyDeleteMen with ED who participated in these clinical studies and who took ...
ReplyDeleteGSK Pays U.S. Govt $750M for Selling Contaminated and Substandard Drugs ... The Gel Doc™ EZ imager delivers high-quality gel images and analysis with ease and accuracy. Simply slide in the .... Most Viewed, Most Emailed, Top Searches ...
Rezeptfrei Bestellen Original Viagra
1 post - 1 author
Original Viagra Rezeptfrei
It sounds like you're creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place
ReplyDeleteIn searching for sites related to web hosting and specifically comparison hosting linux plan web, your site came up. :)
ReplyDeleteI am Glad i ran across this web site.Added davehingsburger.blogspot.com to my bookmark!
ReplyDeletevapor king electronic cigarette electronic cigarette sticky fingers [url=http://connections.blackboard.com/people/22e982982b]omg electronic cigarette [/url] electronic cigarette usa electronic cigarette knight
ReplyDeleteI am utterly speechless...as I'm sure those teenagers were! Two thumbs up for a gutsy old lady.
ReplyDeletecheap perfume
Burberrys perfume
dolce & gabbana perfume
Estee lauder sensuous perfume
euphoria perfume
guess perfume
TRON: Legacy movie blog watch TRON: Legacy 2010 full movie [url=http://connections.blackboard.com/people/1e16668708]TRON: Legacy ipod [/url] TRON: Legacy movie TRON: Legacy lost
ReplyDeleteLife as We Know It movie pictures Life as We Know It movie news [url=http://connections.blackboard.com/people/2f3eda2a97]Life as We Know It film [/url] Life as We Know It movie summary Life as We Know It dvdrip
The Tourist film reviews The Tourist download full movie [url=http://connections.blackboard.com/people/6498f67893]The Tourist poster [/url] download The Tourist online The Tourist movie to watch
I am happy to find this very useful for me, as it contains lot of information. I always prefer to read the quality content
ReplyDelete96
Such a nice post, I like it very much and I hope others may like it as well.
ReplyDeleteI am very happy while reading this blog awesome writing skill i would like bookmark this blog.
ReplyDeleteSmith Alan
Stainless means that it will not rust under normal conditions, cast means that it is poured into a mold.
ReplyDeleteReally your blog is very interesting.... it contains great and unique information. I enjoyed to visiting your blog. It's just amazing.... Thanks very much!
ReplyDeleteI am grateful to read you blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this type of interesting article post.
ReplyDeletekeep posting.
Becoming an affiliate partner with the Leadswaves Affiliate Program can help you monetize your traffic by providing a valuable service to your consumers and creating a recurring revenue stream with minimal effort.
ReplyDeleteThis crass and self-centered populous needs a response in kind . logo design | custom logo design .Very good! Nice information this is really interesting. Good luck in building the table.
ReplyDeletemersin chat,avrupa chat
ReplyDeleteShe's really wonderful women.
ReplyDeleteDWI laws
It's awesome blog post here.... really very interesting for reading..... I enjoyed it. Thanks for the share.... just keep posting such an informative articles, I want to know more about this topic.
ReplyDeleteHello ,This crass and self-centered populous needs a response , We have to give response .
ReplyDeleteIt is good to see your list of positive ideals, I have only in the last two years changed my life looking at the positive things around me and my life is very positive each day, it is alot easer to get things done.
ReplyDeleteEventually much economic and judicial business would transfer away from the Forum Romanum to the larger and more extravagant structures (Trajan's Forum and the Basilica Ulpia) to the north. The reign of Constantine the Great, during which the Empire was divided into its Eastern and Western halves, saw the construction of the last major expansion of the Forum complex — the Basilica of Maxentius (312 AD). This returned the political center to the Forum until the fall of the Western Roman Empire almost two centuries later.
ReplyDeleteOffice Space For Lease
The term Social refers to a characteristic of living organisms (humans in particular, though biologists also apply the term to populations of other animals). It always refers to the interaction of organisms with other organisms and to their collective co-existence, irrespective of whether they are aware of it or not, and irrespective of whether the interaction is voluntary or involuntary.
ReplyDeleteAviation Insurance
Jeg elsker at damen var så hurtig på fødderne! Jeg tænker altid på comebacks alt for sent til rent faktisk at bruge dem.
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot for this awesome post I Like it so much.....
ReplyDeletemlance
I don’t suppose I have read anything like this before. So nice to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subjectAfrican Mango Extract
ReplyDeleteThese kind of post are always inspiring and I prefer to read quality content so I happy to find many good point here in the post
ReplyDeletecustom tattoos
This article is so nice i like it too much or i appreciate the writer they write awesome article
ReplyDeleteKitchen Remodeling Orange County
I certainly enjoyed the way you explore your experience and knowledge of the subject! Keep up on it. Thanks for sharing the info
ReplyDeletecremation urns
This impressive information like each reader. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteMore power to your blog,I like the revolution one a lot.
ReplyDeleteEach time you commit words to paper in your own inimitable style, you declare your character and personality traits, your talents and abilities, even your current mood.
ReplyDeleteServes those two boys right! Teens nowadays are just too full of angst. She just became my new hero as well. Get post!
ReplyDeleteIts rolling around in my head..
ReplyDeletekeylogger
This is so great!I love that this lady was so quick on her feet! I always think of comebacks much too late to actually use them. Keep up the inspiring blogs Dave! Thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteStanding up to teenagers is scary - you wouldn't catch me doing what the little old lady did! And I bet she had a spring in her step after that!cheap chanel bags|imitation bags
ReplyDeletesounds like the kids got in to a battle of wits unarmed.
ReplyDeleteI like to think that she might be a retired -- but not retiring -- copy editor. And she waited for the elevator doors to close before she gave them what-for -- cool!
ReplyDeleteHaha, well it's made me laugh. Thanks for the post.
ReplyDelete