Well, we conquered IKEA.
We bought a couple of storage units, one in metal for the kitchen, one a wooden sideboard for the front room. A friend said he'd put it together as long as we gave him tools, quiet and beer. We promised all three. But then life conspired against this plan and we were left with tools and beer and nervous chatter about what to do with these boxes cluttering up the front room.
Joe decided that we'd put together the metal one because we needed that one most and it came in 12 boxes. 12 boxes. That's a dozen boxes. That's more than ten. Hell, that's more than ELEVEN. At first I just stayed out of the way. I am many things, but I'm not handy. I don't know a crescent roll from a crescent wrench, except one is yummmm good.
Only a few seconds in, Joe said, "You are going to have to help me with this." I glanced for the exit. It was blocked with boxes. I resigned myself to the fact that I would surely be divorced by noon.
At first Joe gave me simple tasks. "Hold this here. Hand me that there." I was sailing along. Then the tasks got progressively harder. "Put this screw through that hole, then find two other pieces with holes in them, align them up and then find a long piece with a hole in the end and screw it onto the screw thereby holding the other three pieces in place." "Um, what?"
Of course the IKEA directions were there to help. They had no words, they just had a picture of the completed item and then arrows pointing to the different joins with a blow up in a circle of what the joins look like. Well, now. That's great. I like the elimination of language and a reliance on pictures. I like the simplicity of the instructions. But, "Um, what?"
At one point we noticed some neighbours cross the way looking over at us. They must have been amused to see me in my wheelchair holding bits of metal, like they were made of dog poo, in place while Joe looked at the picture saying, "Do they want the across first or the up and downy first or the back piece first," I did my best to just look pretty.
6 hours later, it was done. I can point to each part that I worked on. I'm proud of the fact that it doesn't list or lean, it stand firm on the floor, it looks almost identical to the picture that we were given.
Neither Joe or I have mentioned that there are two big pieces left over.
Must have been a miscount.