Grandma

We were both male, of that I was sure, but I'm not sure that a casual observer from Mars would have picked out that we were from the same species. I had rolled in to the lecture hall in Peterborough to get myself ready for the presentation to the Down Syndrome Society. I parked at a table beside the lecturn and got my notes out. OK, ready. I was sharing the keynote with another guy and he was getting powerpoint set up. I remember when I first heard the term 'powerpoint' I thought it was a sex toy.

I was looking a bit like a derelict given that I haven't shaved for 5 days. I had the IV line in and they begged me to barely move my hand and wrist and to keep it dry so that it wasn't likely to slip. It had been hard to get in and it hurt like hell so I followed these instructions to the "T" so no shaving. The infection was on my leg so I wore my old and worn out fat pants that were faded, ripped and had huge legs. I looked like I crawled out of the gutter the night before.

And here was my co-presenter handsome, looking like he had been personally groomed by a bevy of blond Swedish spa attendants, trim in a nice blue suit. He notices me sitting with my notes in front of me and after he has everything set up for his presentation he comes over to introduce himself to me, his daughter Melanie joins him and she is a delightful young woman with Down Syndrome and was, it turns out, a big part of his presenation.

He jokes a bit and mentions that Melanie, by the end of the day, will know everyone in the room and will have facts tucked away about each person she meets. As if on cue Melanie tells her Dad that 'that woman over there is engaged'.

But then he said something that really struck me, "She gets that from her Grandmother."

In a simple sentence he claimed his daughter as part of the heritage of his family. Her personality and her social charisma were formed, in the womb, by influences not from an extra gene but by an existing 'grandma' gene. Melanie was who Melanie is because she comes from him and his - she continues tradition.

Later on in his presentation he shows a picture of Melanie's grandmother, she is sitting in a convertable with the top down and looking at the camera with a 'take no prisoners' look in her eye. That she was full of life is clear. I glanced from the picture on the screen to find where Melanie was sitting in the audience, she was looking at someone on her left and I caught her face.

And saw Grandma in her.

It's true then, it's about the genes.

Grandma's genes.