tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post6075444055603888348..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: What Would Zangy Do?Dave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-33527655277360691472011-06-28T08:40:53.345-04:002011-06-28T08:40:53.345-04:00I had a read through all the comments to see if an...I had a read through all the comments to see if anyone else had thought of this, and it didn't appear so. So even thought this is a month later, I'm going to throw this out there....<br /><br />Paying it forward isn't so much an act of returning the favour, it is about passing on our gratuity. So, I would have zanged someone different. Just randomly picked someone else in the vicinity, and paid for their meal instead. <br /><br />The kindness you have been shown is then passed on to someone else who may be in need of a random act of kindness. <br /><br />Those who give are blessed. I believe by God. Don't take away that blessing by repaying them yourself. Leave that to God to do. He can outdo you any day! But in giving to someone else instead, you become the angel who is possibly more desperately needed in someone elses life.Kiwiaussiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15322028429326751329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-10752927940881632022011-05-27T14:16:48.205-04:002011-05-27T14:16:48.205-04:00Zangy at best moments.Zangy at best moments.jamresgreenspanhttp://www.emedoutlet.com/health-wellness/Clomid-/107.html?a_aid=0faa19bfnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-45813184933929134412011-05-26T23:19:31.962-04:002011-05-26T23:19:31.962-04:00Zang !!!
This was your first instinct and I would ...Zang !!!<br />This was your first instinct and I would go with it. You appreciated the woman's approach, realized that she was natural and backed off when you said no thanks. We give out negative vibes and comments when someone does something we do not appreciate. Why not Zang when we doJanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14294417720384602202noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-14151645359461914392011-05-26T21:19:03.300-04:002011-05-26T21:19:03.300-04:00I vote No Zang.
I think your original Zang brig...I vote No Zang. <br /><br />I think your original Zang brightened the day of a painfully shy, rather friendless, and probably very lonely person. It was brilliant. <br /><br />But if I were that woman in the restaurant, I would not want to have a meal bought for me for the simple act of being a kind, decent person. <br /><br />Can I give an example? <br /><br />Many years ago, I was waiting in the lobby of a hotel to pick up a friend. It was night, and the wind was wild and it was pouring rain--truly a miserable evening. I was sitting near the payphones and happened to overhear a conversation. It was gentleman of 50 or so, talking on the phone about the dead battery of his car in the hotel lot. He was late to an event, the hotel didn't have jumper cables, he didn't have AAA, and the person he was talking to was going to have to drive over an hour to come and help him out. He was in a tough situation. On an impulse, I went to the phone, tapped him on the shoulder, and offered the use of my jumper cables. When he heard what I was offering, he dropped the phone, grasped my hands, and said, "You can help me? Really???? You are an ANGEL!" He grabbed the phone back, triumphantly told his friend he was going to be okay, and we went out to the parking lot (in the pouring rain, mind you) and I helped him get his car started. <br /><br />I can't tell you how delighted I was to have been at the right place at the right time and have been such a blessing to a complete stranger. But then my pleasure was spoiled. Because after he slammed the hood of his car shut and opened his car door, he fished in his overcoat for his wallet, pulled out a bill, and held it to me, saying, "This is for your trouble." <br /><br />Well, the bottom dropped out of my heart. I told him I wanted no money, that I was merely glad to have been of service. And I walked back into the hotel. <br /><br />I am still glad for what I was able to do, but that offer of money felt horrible. Like money could somehow make me feel good about helping a stranded soul on his journey. Instead of compensating me, that money robbed me of my delight at being able to turn misery to happiness. <br /><br />I haven't thought of this in years, but I can tell you that I prefer to remember his initial burst of gratitude ("You are an ANGEL!") rather than his final one.<br /><br />So, yeah. No Zang.<br /><br />SueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-744500818192511342011-05-26T15:58:00.795-04:002011-05-26T15:58:00.795-04:00I vote zang, but its not really a true zang, becau...I vote zang, but its not really a true zang, because its related to something the person did. A true zang is pure gift and pure grace. Not related to anything except being! It is a truly RANDOM act of kindness.Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375461078977866753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-90574374442608100632011-05-25T22:16:40.607-04:002011-05-25T22:16:40.607-04:00Zang for sure.....have done it several times over ...Zang for sure.....have done it several times over the years as an act of kindness sometimes thought out, sometimes spontaneously, as a nice gesture, gift or whatever you may choose to call it. It make me feel good inside and the people who are the receivers have never been offended. Follow your first thoughts, or go with your gut and as others have said no need to over think it just go with it. I call it pay it forward as do many others. If more people participated in such a thing there may be more smiles to go around in this hsctic society we live in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-65656706369412301942011-05-25T22:16:08.880-04:002011-05-25T22:16:08.880-04:00I vote for Zang! Why? Because I am addicted to z...I vote for Zang! Why? Because I am addicted to zanging. Whenever I see a veteran in a restaurant (they are so easy to spot because of their legion jackets, or they'll drive in with a vanity licence plate that has a Legion symbol on it), I'll pay for their breakfast or dinner or whatever, and then get out of there. Especially if it's Remembrance Day, but any old day will do. I do it in honour of my father, who was a veteran. Every time I do I just know he's beaming down on me from heaven.<br /><br />I've never been sorry zanging yet. Be excellent to each other. Zang on! :)Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12527926041729913404noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-41172355756402672342011-05-25T21:42:14.378-04:002011-05-25T21:42:14.378-04:00Wow, I was pretty sure where I stood until I read ...Wow, I was pretty sure where I stood until I read all these fabulous comments.<br />My first impression was to mini-zang, either cover the cost of desert or drinks or get something else sent over to them. <br />Now...I'm not sure, I think the fact you asked Joe suggests that you were not entirely comfortable with the idea but that could just be society's pessimism rubbing off on you.<br />I have no idea what you should have done but this has been fascinating :)Noisyworldnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-54371226701193128102011-05-25T18:19:58.024-04:002011-05-25T18:19:58.024-04:00If you care about your impact on other people - an...If you care about your impact on other people - and I believe you do - you're rationale #1 would probably be to act in a way that causes no "squirming", or discomfort to others: Therefore: if you had gone with your gut feeling: tell the waiter to add your impulsive helper's bill to yours, that would have been the right thing to do. Hesitating, asking your bud for advise moved it to another sphere, and once you hesitate you add doubt which raises questions. <br />The offer to assist from the woman was spontaneous, I believe; as was your wish to foot her bill. Neither was necessary, neither was needed, both were coming from your hearts - both were right. Having said that, her reward for willing to assist you should/ought not need more than... a heartfelt "thanks!".<br />Complicated? No, just go with the gut feeling!<br />And, thanks for writing about living in this life!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-54650888502385158372011-05-25T16:09:17.388-04:002011-05-25T16:09:17.388-04:00I vote not to zang. The first "zang" wa...I vote not to zang. The first "zang" was truly a random act of kindness. There were no precipitating factors. He had not done anything to "deserve" being zanged. It was simply you wanting to do something nice for someone on an impulse not as a repayment of kindness they have done for you. If you had "zanged" in this instance it would not have the same implications or essence of the original "zang". She essentially "zanged" you with her kindness.<br /><br />How would you have felt if the gentleman you "zanged", "zanged" you back. Would it have felt like a "payment" for your original kindness? Would that have cheapened the results of your actions in your eyes? <br /><br />I think that much of society has come to feel the need to pay for what used to be a simple act of kindness, that way we feel less indebted to others. The best form of repayment is not monitarily but in spreading that feeling of goodwill to others and remembering kind actions when we are faced with unkindness. <br /><br />I feel that the best way to "zang" this woman is to pay it forward to someone else in a random act of kindness.Breannenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-23788482213077435402011-05-25T15:40:06.932-04:002011-05-25T15:40:06.932-04:00Zang! Just because you can!Zang! Just because you can!Kitanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-28251296905675618822011-05-25T15:33:58.911-04:002011-05-25T15:33:58.911-04:00Whoa!! I just got home from work to find all these...Whoa!! I just got home from work to find all these comments. I continue to be impressed that discussion here on RAIMH is so respectful. Thank you all for that. I am going to take some time to mull over what's said so far and what is still to be said. Joe and I are both looking at these comments and talking about what happened. Too, I've had people at work and elsewhere respond to me personally. Everyone has very firm opinions on this.<br /><br />As to the Tangy Zangy prize, I've decided not to pick one cause so many are terrific. In a couple of days, when all comments are in. I think I'll pull one from a hat. That way there is no bias in the decision. I'll also remove that 'one to give away' requirement as some may just feel uncomfortable with it. I'll still send two and you can Zang or not as you so please.Dave Hingsburgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-43845320703617167872011-05-25T12:58:28.092-04:002011-05-25T12:58:28.092-04:00OK, I had to think about this for a bit. I unders...OK, I had to think about this for a bit. I understand CL's feelings, having been in a similar situation. However, I love those random acts of kindness! Half of the fun though is that the recipient does not know who gave them a gift. I do a "secret santa" thing for several people in my community. They do not know who Santa is. I love it and it brings me joy all year round. Zang on!Princeton Possenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-84773308310723867292011-05-25T12:55:14.914-04:002011-05-25T12:55:14.914-04:00I too vote for the mini-Zang. I think picking up ...I too vote for the mini-Zang. I think picking up their dessert or drinks or something would have been nice, but beyond that it seems like overkill.<br /><br />What she did was super nice, and I'm all for the pay-it-forward idea. It's all in the perspective, and I'm sure in hers it was not the Big Deal it was to you.Rachelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-18819995346135393012011-05-25T12:48:35.673-04:002011-05-25T12:48:35.673-04:00What about a mini-Zang? Buying the full meal does ...What about a mini-Zang? Buying the full meal does seem overly generous, I would feel like I owed you something back. But once I was at a very busy restaurant at a booth with one friend, and an elderly couple came in and were waiting for a table. There was no where to sit, and after a few minutes of them standing I scooted over next to my friend and offered the other side of our booth for them to sit at. They ended up "zanging us" by buying dessert. It was a nice balance of kindness but not too much to make us feel uncomfortable.Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05977239196370538454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-24541484524558566282011-05-25T12:41:23.891-04:002011-05-25T12:41:23.891-04:00I say zang away. Here's my reason. I often n...I say zang away. Here's my reason. I often need a little help to get what I need in life. Randomly a neighbor of mine who has some serious health issues will ask me to pick her up something from the store in my travels. One day I had to make 2 trips to the store because she asked me to get her some little thing after I was already home for the day. Not a big deal my scooter makes such errands a joy on a nice day! So off I went. As I was waiting in the line the cashier said something about 2 trips in one day and I told her the items were for my neighbor who wasn't feeling well. The cashier went off on a rant about how dare my neighbor ask me for anything she should be helping me, my life was hard enough yada yada yada.<br /><br />I was taken aback because my first thought was how dare you assume that I am too mired in my own struggle to be nice someone else out the whole thing made me feel like a less worthy person.<br /><br />Since then I have made an effort to do something nice for someone every single day. Sometimes they know sometimes they don't. Small things, a coffee, a kind word to someone who works in retail after they've been harassed by the customer in front of me, good manners are a must. I bought a kid who dropped his ice cream once a new one. <br />Why because I know that I need help with things. And for me it keeps the balance in check.<br />Never once have I had someone other then that very opinionated cashier, feel good about what I was trying to do!<br />And I got to feel good too win/winAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-7974169676229871542011-05-25T12:29:03.469-04:002011-05-25T12:29:03.469-04:00Zang!!
While such an action might make a small fe...Zang!!<br /><br />While such an action might make a small few people uncomfortable, I believe it would hugely brighten the day for most folks. And day brightening is a much needed thing right now around the world.<br /><br />Doing such things makes the zanger feel good - makes the zangee feel good, and may even encourage the zangee to become a zanger.<br /><br />Winners all around!Ashley's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05621835327282616218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-90371103540145315472011-05-25T12:17:56.834-04:002011-05-25T12:17:56.834-04:00I'm clearly in the Zang Zone.
Not Entirely Ra...I'm clearly in the Zang Zone.<br /><br />Not Entirely Random Acts of kindness can never be wrong. The world is too cruel a place to second guess a gut feeling to do something nice for someone regardless of the reason.<br /><br />I am often talked out of doing such nice things because it would be "weird" or "embarrassing". I hereby vow that I will no longer ask, I will just do.<br /><br />Thanks for another great post and invitation to think about random acts of kindness.Ceeejhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01578400110811547462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-83567978103152045902011-05-25T12:07:44.040-04:002011-05-25T12:07:44.040-04:00Being in the UK I had to google the amount of mone...Being in the UK I had to google the amount of money before I answered. Then I felt bad that I would judge my Zanginess on funds alone.<br /><br />I was originally going to suggest that you zanged her a dessert or something rather than paying for the whole meal but I've changed my mind - zang away! This is a stranger - you're probably not going to get a chance to zang her again and if you really appreciated her help then why not express it?<br /><br />That being said, I don't think you should fret over not zanging her. She wouldn't have expected it (which might make her more deserving) so she hasn't missed it.Faerynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-35662353283214100082011-05-25T11:14:32.932-04:002011-05-25T11:14:32.932-04:00ZANG!!!
Here's my reason....when I was in hig...ZANG!!!<br /><br />Here's my reason....when I was in high school there was a guy about 3 years younger than me. It didn't look as if he had much money as he always looked rough and dirty. He had sandy blond curly hair and big blue eyes and he reminded me of my Dad. I know from the stories that my father had told me and that others have told me about him that he probably looked the same way. I had a soft spot in my heart for this kid and I didn't and still don't know his name. I happen to be having lunch with my Mom at a McDonald's when he and a friend walked in. I watched them try to figure out what they could buy with the money that they had. They finally came up with an option and went to their seats. I wanted to so badly do something for him, that I decided to buy him and his friend a hot fudge sunday. I had the McDonald's employee deliver them to the table and requested that they not be told who did it. The look on their faces was priceless. She could have been delivering a sunday or a million dollars and I think it would have been the same. <br /><br /> Seeing "that face" has become somewhat addictive, I try to take every opportunity to do something nice for someone. There are a lot of adjectives that can be used to describe me and if weird is one of them then so be it. Sometimes I feel weird doing it, but I think that God wants us to be kind to one another. I still struggle sometimes thought. I am always left with this question after...why as a society do we feel wird doing nice things, but have no feelings attached to being dissmisve or ignorant?Natalienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-84977548791870257662011-05-25T10:02:50.002-04:002011-05-25T10:02:50.002-04:00Zang. The fact that it's weird doesn't me...Zang. The fact that it's weird doesn't mean it's wrong to do it -- or, to go a step further -- sometimes it is /right/ to do the weird thing. She gave you an act of kindness; for you to return it would be fine. Plus, the chances are slim that you would ever see her again, so any discomfort on her part or yours would be short-lived.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15623102287819118353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-5288205856800460532011-05-25T09:42:41.327-04:002011-05-25T09:42:41.327-04:00To quote your writing Dave, "I let her know t...To quote your writing Dave, "I let her know that I was doing fine, that I'd lost my friend somewhere but that I really appreciated her offer of assistance. She smiled...." I think that the simple fact that you politely thanked her and she smiled back was enough, that probably made her day as well and left her in a really good mood!!<br /><br />Im with Joe!Mark Pathakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09431996929463348919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-56160098378523981342011-05-25T09:35:40.144-04:002011-05-25T09:35:40.144-04:00Zang: why not? You wanted to be nice, why stifle ...Zang: why not? You wanted to be nice, why stifle that impulse?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07030901750121134245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-63798469166127084492011-05-25T09:33:02.079-04:002011-05-25T09:33:02.079-04:00I vote no for Zangy.
Other folks have said it bet...I vote no for Zangy.<br /><br />Other folks have said it better. I think that buying the meal and saying thanks for the offer of help is too much for what I would see as “just doing what was right”. It would make me very uncomfortable, in part because I prefer to go through life without public notice. But more importantly, it would make me self conscious and hesitant to offer help in the future, lest the person I was trying to aid thought that I was angling for payment, like those windshield washers who wash your windshield whether you want it or not.<br /><br />Recently my husband and I helped a couple get their motorhome backed in to a campsite. We invited them out to dinner at an inexpensive burger joint, and they insisted on picking up the check. That only gave me minor twinges, because throughout dinner and the drive to and fro, they picked our brains for information on our fulltiming lifestyle. We’ve been fulltiming for a couple of years now; they just started the day before. There was value given in the gift of our expertise, returned with the gift of dinner. If the restaurant had been pricey, I wouldn’t have been as comfortable with the exchange.<br /><br />But what I really remember about that encounter, and what made my week, was when one of the ladies thanked us for how we offered to help them, by asking if we could assist them rather than trying to muscle in. I think being thanked in words for the offer to assist would have made that woman’s day and made her remember the incident fondly and with pride. Buying her meal and thanking her would have led to more negative second-guessing – not at all the intended result.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-4563666185101381762011-05-25T09:31:12.035-04:002011-05-25T09:31:12.035-04:00I vote Zang. Some of my favorite moments have be...I vote Zang. Some of my favorite moments have been continuing a pay it forward in the drive thru line at a local fast food restaurant. One car would start by paying for their meal and the order of the person in the car behind them in line. That person would still pay - but for the meal of the person behind them. It's a nice random surprise that makes the wait time seem less, adds the joy of paying it "backward" and is a lot of fun for the employee manning the window. Zang away Dave!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com