tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post4482836507706722890..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Committees EverywhereDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-53457036605692734682014-12-21T18:03:22.076-05:002014-12-21T18:03:22.076-05:00Dave,
due to my very bad circulation it often take...Dave,<br />due to my very bad circulation it often takes me two or three days to feel the temperature of the weather going on outside.<br /><br />Until I had a very big argument/discussion with my parents about it, I was always feeling to cold or to hot, if I was forced to wear "appropriate" clothes.<br /><br />Fortunatly this stoped a while ago and I woul never force someone else to wear something just because of the weather.<br /><br />JuliaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-23952481112575821172014-12-21T10:26:20.203-05:002014-12-21T10:26:20.203-05:00That must become a PITA.
I think I'd have jus...That must become a PITA.<br /><br />I think I'd have just told them that I know how to dress myself and that I'm plenty warm.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-76776936188508128792014-12-21T08:04:27.303-05:002014-12-21T08:04:27.303-05:00My brother often goes outside in late fall (which ...My brother often goes outside in late fall (which in Saskatchewan is as cold as many winter days in other places) without any kind of jacket, just a sweater. He's always been a warm person, just like his Dad, and those of us in his family know that he really is fine going outside like that.<br /><br />No one has ever given him, or me when I'm with him, unsolicited advice about what he should wear. I assume that's because he looks nondisabled, and therefore competent to decide for himself.<br /><br />People do sometimes give me unsolicited comments on how I'm dressed, but even so, it's not with the preachy tone that this woman was giving - it's more amazement that I'm wearing a winter coat on a hot day. (A coat helps me regulate sensory overload, so I wear one as much as I can stand.)Ettinahttp://abnormaldiversity.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-10236782400559406192014-12-21T04:36:49.284-05:002014-12-21T04:36:49.284-05:00The same thing happens if you are a pregnant or nu...The same thing happens if you are a pregnant or nursing mother. It happens if you have kids, typical or otherwise specified. It happens if you have bi-racial kids. It happens if you are young, different, or other mobilized. It falls under the umbrella Spectrum Disorder of MOPFB (Minding Other People's F***ing business). There is no cure.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> MYOFBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-27866904454143783522014-12-20T04:44:56.185-05:002014-12-20T04:44:56.185-05:00I don't like unsolicited advice either, but I&...I don't like unsolicited advice either, but I'd like to think that she was worrying that you HAD a coat. That may be something she needs to worry about for herself.<br />SharonAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-34824154751754440852014-12-19T11:25:49.496-05:002014-12-19T11:25:49.496-05:00Anon, if you think Dave spends a big chunk of his ...Anon, if you think Dave spends a big chunk of his life being offended, then perhaps you haven't read this blog for long, or chose to focus your attention only on certain posts. I have the feeling that Dave is mostly happily living his life, and observing the life around him. But people do upsetting things to you when you're disabled, and when people who were not around, who don't share his experiences, write that is is not that bad and that he is looking for ways to be offended, it really belittle his experience.<br /><br />~LounaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-45389185687440178772014-12-19T09:23:15.636-05:002014-12-19T09:23:15.636-05:00I learned long ago that I share a planet with 7 bi...I learned long ago that I share a planet with 7 billion people who don't give a shit about how I would like them to behave. It's a full time job just trying to change yourself let alone changing anyone else. I would guess a woman sitting in the street asking for change knows a bit about being cold, maybe from her perspective you were under dressed. You seem to spend a big chunk of your life being offended.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-44861015489428493902014-12-19T08:11:28.593-05:002014-12-19T08:11:28.593-05:00I too was relating this to catcalling. I am a pet ...I too was relating this to catcalling. I am a pet sitter and have been barked at when I'm walking dogs. Just recently I was meowed at.There are people who are just wanting to interact. My daughter was told hey beautiful one day and that was fine I wasn't offended, she wasn't offended. some catcallers it's a power play. They will pick on whatever they can come up with. If you're fat it's a fat comment, tall, tall comment, short, short comment pretty, pretty comment, walking dogs, barking at you, disabled, disabled comment. I guess my point is it's not always about the disability, it's whatever they can come up with. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-62208919834733730072014-12-19T06:20:11.266-05:002014-12-19T06:20:11.266-05:00This is not about someone getting unsolicited pare...This is not about someone getting unsolicited parenting advice. This is a case of an adult infantilizing another adult and questioning his decisions because of ableism. And speaking as a disabled feminist, please stop with the "compares to sexual catcalling" crap. It's not a contest. Both are dehumanizing, oppressive, and wrong. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82945031602793319262014-12-19T03:31:14.767-05:002014-12-19T03:31:14.767-05:00@gps - unsolicited advice to parents of children w...@gps - unsolicited advice to parents of children without disabilities happens, it's true. And sexual catcalling happens.<br /><br />But these are different things. Real things, unwelcome things, intruding things, and often distressing things - but different things to what we're talking about, which is the experience of an adult wheelchair user being presumed to be incapable of the most basic self-care.<br /><br />It must be pretty galling to have strangers tell you how to raise a child, but believe me, it's a whole other level to have strangers presume you can't look after <i>your own</i> fundamental bodily needs.<br /><br />The fact that unsolicited parenting-advice and sexual catcalling happens does not in any way <i>neutralise</i> the way that certain people in society infantilise disabled people and choose to publicly humiliate us in the way Dave has described. <br /><br />Of course, if you're now about to head over to Mumsnet and tell the parents who are complaining about unsolicited advice "oh, disabled people get that too, it's not just a parenting-specific issue," then do let me know and I'll grab the popcorn. ;-)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11639094548415759560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-70037360012238142852014-12-19T03:14:46.135-05:002014-12-19T03:14:46.135-05:00With unwanted public interventions like this I alw...With unwanted public interventions like this I always wonder whether the person is delivering their so-called help or advice is doing so for the benefit of the "target", or if it's more for the benefit of the "audience".<br /><br /><i>Look everybody, see how caring and considerate I am being to Those Less Fortunate. I'm such an amazing humanitarian. I totes deserve a medal and a small ceremony of thanks and recognition. Or at least a cookie.</i><br /><br />In this particular instance, you noted that the lady in question had a sign out asking for change. You have observed on many occasions that this can be as good as a cloak of invisibility. I wonder if she was using you to make herself more visible, and her display of "caring" to paint herself as a Worthy Cause.<br /><br />(Not that it would make it okay.)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11639094548415759560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-18632524078757162902014-12-18T15:08:17.215-05:002014-12-18T15:08:17.215-05:00I have a Tee shirt that says "Don't Shoul...I have a Tee shirt that says "Don't Should on Me." Want to borrow????Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-10116852364573781862014-12-18T12:16:26.927-05:002014-12-18T12:16:26.927-05:00Have you talked with parents of children without d...Have you talked with parents of children without disabilities? All parents get unsolicited and unwanted advice. And some people are busybodies who will give advice to anyone within earshot. I don't think this is disability-specific. For that matter, how do you think it compares with sexual catcalling?gpshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14621047190396415934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-6045954609449372382014-12-18T11:32:36.256-05:002014-12-18T11:32:36.256-05:00Dave, Those "dress for the weather" peop...Dave, Those "dress for the weather" people take it upon themselves to intrude on everyone. I hate coats and either don't wear one or have it unzipped and flying open...but it doesn't stop...usually a woman...the comments keep on coming. I nod and increase my pace. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-28628374343309928032014-12-18T11:13:42.236-05:002014-12-18T11:13:42.236-05:00If I were in your situation, I'd be tempted to...If I were in your situation, I'd be tempted to answer: "<i>You</i> should wear <i>layers</i>. Don't you know a coat just isn't warm enough in this climate?"<br /><br />And then, when she gets huffy, say: "Oh. Sorry. I thought it must be 'Trade Advice Day!'"<br /><br />Then again, I probably wouldn't have thought of it until a couple hours later...<br />CapriUnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16906524679880178584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-64800165911170795292014-12-18T10:56:13.112-05:002014-12-18T10:56:13.112-05:00Heavy coats weigh me down, and make it really toug...Heavy coats weigh me down, and make it really tough for me to move around. Plus, I can't take them on and off without help, and that help isn't always available. Most of the time, layering works best for me too. And I always want to smack the people telling me how I should dress. They have NO idea how much time and thought I put into balancing warmth, function, and style!Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06868874343026873104noreply@blogger.com