tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post248647602440961341..comments2024-03-29T03:43:45.977-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Gratitude, Attitude and RightsDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-4479031275993000072011-02-14T22:33:45.526-05:002011-02-14T22:33:45.526-05:00Sometimes I am grateful for sidewalks, for doors I...Sometimes I am grateful for sidewalks, for doors I don't have to wrestle open, for days that go smoothly despite everything that can go wrong.<br /><br />"I don't want to kiss societies butt simply because I'm not limber enough to kick it!"<br /><br />I agree wholeheartedly. Access is a right, but even rights should not be taken for granted, with or without disabilities involved. People have fought hard, given their lives--both the living and the dying parts of them--so that these rights can be ours. <br /><br />I think it's a mistake to take gratitude--at least the gratitude for a day that went smoothly and the rights that make them possible--as the same thing as kissing society's butt.<br /><br />I'll be grateful for any days that go smoothly; they're rare enough that they're worth being grateful for, at least for me. And I'll be grateful for all those who fight for rights for everyone.Stephaniehttp://embracingchaos.stephanieallencrist.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-20015926992174791322011-02-12T12:59:42.021-05:002011-02-12T12:59:42.021-05:00Yeah, I'm with Alison. The Bible says 'in ...Yeah, I'm with Alison. The Bible says 'in everything give thanks' and that's what I do. I'm grateful for sidewalks, storm drains, flushing toilets, electricity. Health care. <br /><br />In a coffee shop I'd be grateful for different things than you, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't be grateful. <br /><br />I know the point you were trying to make though. I just don't like the assumption that it's, and I quote, <i>wrong</i> to be grateful for something just because it's something you need rather than want.Shanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10704810407872873565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-31841149301811005832011-02-11T12:50:24.248-05:002011-02-11T12:50:24.248-05:00I encounter something similar in a different realm...I encounter something similar in a different realm -- maybe this will help illustrate the difference between the kinds of gratitude.<br /><br />I don't own a car and get around by bike in the city, so I have lots of encounters with lots of different drivers. Sometimes those encounters go well, and sometimes they don't, and that can affect how I feel at the end of the ride.<br /><br />Sometimes I get home feeling grateful because I've encountered drivers who've waved me across the intersection with a smile even though they could have legally taken the right of way, or because a driver hollered something nice to me about my bike (happens occasionally). <br /><br />That's a good kind of gratitude, as I perceive it.<br /><br />Sometimes I get home feeling grateful because at least I didn't have to deal with a driver who was so angry at me that spittle was flying from his mouth as he screamed at me about how "I should run you off the f---ing road, you f---ing b----!" (like the one who pulled up next to me as I rode to work this past Monday morning, angry because I was riding in the lane where the law says I should). <br /><br />That's a bad kind of gratitude. As a fellow human out using the roads, I shouldn't have to feel grateful for the mere fact that nobody threatened my life.<br /><br />Feeling grateful because something good happened is lovely. Feeling grateful because the bad stuff one is used to having to deal with didn't happen is not.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-42171182264878813972011-02-11T10:12:02.633-05:002011-02-11T10:12:02.633-05:00Alison
I think Dave is trying to make a distincti...Alison<br /><br />I think Dave is trying to make a distinction between being grateful just because we're all lucky to have certain things--which a positive kind of grateful in which we are simply conscious of what we have and not taking it for granted, versus a more groveling kind of "gratefulness" that, for once, he isn't being singled out for being excluded from all sorts of basic things that most abled bodied people *do* take for granted but that he does not always have as a matter of course. <br /><br />I'm not sure I'm explaining this well so it probably still isn't clear. Basically what I'm trying to get at is the fact that there is more than one TYPE or "flavor" of being grateful, and the kind that Dave is talking about I think is rather different from the one you're talking about. It's the same word but actually a different concept or tone to it.<br /><br />Think of it as the difference between being grateful that you have enough to eat every day and are safe from violence every day or mostly every day ... and being grateful because, just for today, the person who normally beats you and takes the food off your plate has decided to be "nice" to you and be a little less cruel this day. Grateful in a way where you feel like you're supposed to "owe" someone some kind of debased groveling or exalted recognition because, just this once, they decided to treat you with the same decency with which they treat everyone else.<br /><br />I hope someone else here can find a clearer way of explaining all this because I'm having trouble finding the right language to wrap around this concept.Andrea S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-72617555193069091282011-02-11T09:33:40.198-05:002011-02-11T09:33:40.198-05:00I feel that as a TAB I am missing the point and I ...I feel that as a TAB I am missing the point and I probably am. <br /><br />But I don’t take anything as a right and I am grateful all day.<br /><br />I’m grateful that I have work, family and love. <br /><br />I’m grateful to live now and in a Canadian city, with easy access to clean water and health care. <br /><br />I’m grateful every day to be able to use the sidewalk and the metro to get to work. <br /><br />I have access to some of these things because of people who came before: the technical people who made them possible and the political people who caused them to be made available.<br /><br />Some of these things I have access to simply because of the luck of the draw. <br /><br />So while you should feel just as entitled to use the sidewalk as I am — because you are — cut yourself some slack in being grateful for the existence of a sidewalk you can use. Because I walk on the sidewalk, and I’m grateful for it too.Alison Cumminshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06370841996857073237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82056056839855690802011-02-11T08:51:22.120-05:002011-02-11T08:51:22.120-05:00Dave,
My thoughts aren't necessarily related t...Dave,<br />My thoughts aren't necessarily related to this post specifically, but your blog in general. I just recently started reading it, and aside from telling you that I'm highly impressed with your ability to write, I wanted to tell you that I thoroughly appreciate the topics you cover and the way you cover them.<br /><br />I have Cerebral Palsy, have been a wheelchair user all my life, and at least half of the things that you blog about are things that I've either said, blogged about myself, or thought. Thank you for standing with me and all the other members of the disabled community in the fight for equal treatment in everything we do!Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03979453121397891329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82541016730099704382011-02-11T07:53:34.964-05:002011-02-11T07:53:34.964-05:00Dear Dave:
Gratitude for things that are your rig...Dear Dave:<br /><br />Gratitude for things that are your right is still possible - but I totally agree with you - it does not involve grovelling. After some of the barriers you have encountered it is no wonder that you are grateful for a barrier free day!<br /><br />ColleenColleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-11412014104086824012011-02-11T07:26:23.520-05:002011-02-11T07:26:23.520-05:00The wheeliecrone says -
Oh, Dave! I have the same ...The wheeliecrone says -<br />Oh, Dave! I have the same problem! Whenever I have a day that is full of entrances that are stairless, automatic doors that are wide enough and people who look at me rather than my wheelchair and speak to me rather than a person (whom I may, or may not, know) who happens to be standing near me, I am grateful. If, in addition, I am treated like a sentient adult, rather than a silly child; if people listen to me and treat me with respect, I cannot believe my luck.<br />You are right. It is my right to have all of these things happen - people who don't have disabilities expect all these things as a matter of course. It is my right. I need to remind myself of that from time to time.<br />Thank you for reminding me, Dave.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-14168563410998370732011-02-11T00:10:09.625-05:002011-02-11T00:10:09.625-05:00Ha ha! Yes, it will do. Getting it right can be co...Ha ha! Yes, it will do. Getting it right can be complicated.Belindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09251920708783268740noreply@blogger.com