tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post1650079323744647782..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Profound RightsDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-46511531621844063452012-11-18T06:32:32.525-05:002012-11-18T06:32:32.525-05:00I've been told and have observed that I am goo...I've been told and have observed that I am good at perception of others, assessment, weighing situations, anticipation of needs and even thoughts. I share this not to blow my own horn - but because it is these very things that rob others of their "5 minutes". I am terrible for jumping in and jumping the gun. I admit I usually "have it right" - but boy do I have it wrong. I can so recognize myself in some Dave's reflections.<br /><br />In one of my courses the prof touched on this area in connection to teaching. He pointed out how quick we are to glean the answer we are looking for to fulfill our agenda - so keen that we are not really listening to the other person. He suggested using the phrase: "Tell me more". <br /><br />I love it. It shows interest in the speaker, allows them to fully articulate what they are saying and to go past the obvious into the color and depth of the statement.<br /><br />I have found it successful - slows me down, values the contribution of the other - and gives me the opportunity to learn. <br /><br />I may not be at the 5 minute mark yet - but I am working on it. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-3363456969070590782012-11-17T15:11:53.222-05:002012-11-17T15:11:53.222-05:00I look forward to your extra five minutes-worth of...I look forward to your extra five minutes-worth of insight! And love it when people take time to process. When I go out with Jess (less often now than before) I always remind her ... at the bank, at the store, where ever she is making a transaction or in an information exchange, that she can take as long as she likes... I also usually remind her kind of loudly (well, not loudly, but not in a whisper) intentionally, hoping that others will hear and will think: hey, its okay to take as long as you need! and remember that when dealing with her or any other person who might need a little more time .... such as myself when my hands are full, or a caregiver, or an older person whose fingers aren't quite as nimble as they used to be. "Take as long as you need." I try to make this time in our daily life as we sometimes struggle through these transition years... often trying to give her time to regroup after yelling at me (because I am a MOM of course! and moms sometimes get yelled at!) or balking at learning something new ... take your time. When you're ready I'll be here. I want her to know that its okay to take whatever time you need (unless its an emergency and the tree is falling on you) to process, to figure out what you need to do etc.... I will admit tho, impatient person that I am, it is a learning process and SHE is very patient with ME!Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375461078977866753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-32021851360186582082012-11-17T13:33:00.251-05:002012-11-17T13:33:00.251-05:00Dave it is as good to take that extra five minutes...Dave it is as good to take that extra five minutes as give it. <br /><br />As a fellow blogger I bump into disparate people often who tell me that they've read this or that on my blog. I always tend to forget that there are people faithfully checking in, even if it isn't every day, and when I am reminded of that it makes me want to write better and give more worth in what they might find when they do check in.<br /><br />I am not compelled to write every day and would rather take time to write thoughtfully and as well as I can. I never thought of it as giving myself an extra five minutes--but that's exactly what it is.<br /><br />I so look forward to all that comes from the fount of your experience.Belindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09251920708783268740noreply@blogger.com