tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post7709767683076188496..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Family DayDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-3010779778579486302017-05-11T05:05:50.387-04:002017-05-11T05:05:50.387-04:00Nice Post! I love my family and also value family....Nice Post! I love my family and also value family.Glad that I saw this post.Lizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08502548683381264233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-31568506047592196002014-02-16T20:46:12.331-05:002014-02-16T20:46:12.331-05:00I do value my family so much, that's why I mak...I do value my family so much, that's why I make sure we enjoy each family day of the year. We make sure we have fun bonding each other.Autumn May Dalehttp://www.migrationexpert.canoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-61309351729810574732012-02-21T07:41:44.575-05:002012-02-21T07:41:44.575-05:00I used to wear a pin on my lapel (until I lost it)...I used to wear a pin on my lapel (until I lost it) that was pride colors that said "HATE is not a family value" <br /><br />I seriously may have been tempted to hipcheck the old man in the pool if I heard that! As it is I probably would have told him that I was a queer and it was people like him that turn happy little kids into depressed unhappy little adults because of his hatred and bigotry - regardless of what his grandson's sexuality is.Nathan Dawthornenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-38419115775322720812012-02-21T03:21:47.641-05:002012-02-21T03:21:47.641-05:00Sorry to read about some of your spiritual hurts. ...Sorry to read about some of your spiritual hurts. God loves you just the way you are. His biggest desire is to have a relationship with you. It is not about judgement, not about wrongs, not about rights - it is about relationship. He wants that so bad that He made the way to Him as easy as possible. Don't let people, religion or judgements get in the way. There are no fences with God - just love.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-57721328631576194462012-02-21T03:16:38.907-05:002012-02-21T03:16:38.907-05:00Remember - opinions are not wrong just because the...Remember - opinions are not wrong just because they don't agree with yours.<br /><br />I find, probably due to hurts, but there seems to be a narrow view of "family values" represented here. Some folks are talking as if it is a big stick.<br /><br />It is what it says - values of your family - whatever that may be.<br /><br />It is like the term intolerance - how we get riled about it. We won't tolerate that...whoops - that is intolerance. Some times it is necessary. We are not going to tolerate being mistreated or abused.<br /><br />Values - it is often our values that we are defending. I happen to be very protective of the values of my family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-89970751760478828102012-02-20T18:21:00.397-05:002012-02-20T18:21:00.397-05:00Happy Family Day, Dave and Joe!
Having had to sev...Happy Family Day, Dave and Joe!<br /><br />Having had to sever all ties with my own biological family due to severe dysfunction, I feel this loss very deeply each year. Yet I still treasure the concept of family- so I built my own from my group of friends. <br /><br />I also agree with the whole "Family Values" movement that brings with it intolerance and excuses for bigoted attitudes- it's just not OK, and to attach such hatred to what should be such a loving and supportive situation is so wrong.<br /><br />May you both feel the love and support of your larger internet family here. I follow you because I value your opinions and like to hear about your daily happenings. I also am interested to hear about all of the cool work you do for the disabled around the world. <br /><br />You don't have any thing to "make up for" or knit back together in society as a price for being yourself. I hope you don't think you need to work to earn your right to be anything but valuable for who you really are. I feel sad for you if the scars of a lifetime of intolerance would make you feel like you have to work so hard just to be valued... Hope this isn't the case.<br /><br />Jazz<br />http://fightinthefibro.blogspot.com/FibroFacialGalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00490696867905410299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-76202046740361401852012-02-20T15:18:56.315-05:002012-02-20T15:18:56.315-05:00Funny that you have a Holliday today in Canada. He...Funny that you have a Holliday today in Canada. Here, in my part of Germany, today is an important Holliday. It's the last day of carnival. I went alone o watch the parade, not because I don't have friends, simply because I tend to first decide I'll go somewhere, and then if someone comes along, it's nice, but I don't mind doing many things on my own that others find strange. And it didn't matter, because we were all partying together, the somewhat drunk students, the old ladies who had brought folding chairs, the woman who was giving out snacks and dancing in such a happy manner... So in a way, we celebrated the connections between human beings as well.Lounahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11031075401203936622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-77771560954604837702012-02-20T15:09:43.753-05:002012-02-20T15:09:43.753-05:00Happy Family Day, Dave and Joe.Happy Family Day, Dave and Joe.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10791317184998122691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-2236790904216824872012-02-20T10:58:06.318-05:002012-02-20T10:58:06.318-05:00Family. WHere you get loved, where you love, and w...Family. WHere you get loved, where you love, and where you have the freedom to delve into sometimes complex and difficult conversations . . . over which yoo often lose control! Guess RAIMH is family!!!!Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10375461078977866753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-18132946351809235032012-02-20T10:08:50.781-05:002012-02-20T10:08:50.781-05:00Oh, My, look what I started. I only brought up the...Oh, My, look what I started. I only brought up the 'family values' to indicate how uncomfortable the word 'family' had become to me. I tried to write the post as a tribute to family - but instead may have unwittingly set up a bit of a heavy discussion. I knew, because of what people have said here, that writing about 'family' would have to mentioned the adoption of the word to mean something else ... but I wanted to bring it back into use, in my own vocabulary, as a welcome word and and welcome idea. But discussion, respectful discussion, is always good. Thanks for the care with which you are all expressing your opinions.Dave Hingsburgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-47473057591395421812012-02-20T08:09:18.377-05:002012-02-20T08:09:18.377-05:00As a believer I understand what the term, "fa...As a believer I understand what the term, "family values" is code for, even for some, I imagine, in my own church. When I hear the term I read a narrow definition that acts like a fence, to keep children theoretically safe and protected from being influenced by any facts that interfere with a certain interpretation of faith. I believe the best of intentions can come with painful results. These were born in part, out of fear and ignorance; twin dangers that result in heartache, bigotry, and shame. <br /><br />Children grow up and have to reconcile the faith they were taught with what they find beyond the fence. I pray that all of my grandchildren will grow up without fear of difference, believing that God is the Creator of us all, just as we are. We may have questions that we have to ask him one day, and that is okay--there may be a long line up--or maybe when we get there the questions will fade away--suddenly unimportant in the glory of his presence!Belindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09251920708783268740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-72390751881811374302012-02-20T07:59:36.074-05:002012-02-20T07:59:36.074-05:00Agree with the first Anon (Julia) -- I feel that f...Agree with the first Anon (Julia) -- I feel that family is ultimately a choice of the heart that may have little to do with genetics or legalities.<br /><br />Re, the second Anon: Perhaps you have been more fortunate in the area where you live, but in the United States (and I'm guessing Canada as well, or Dave wouldn't have said what he said), the phrase "Family Values" is thrown around a lot by very homophobic elements in society: They pretend they're thinking of some of the same things you and Dave have said about "family values" but they really use it partly as a code word for "Gay people are sinners and every law that could recognize their capacity for love or their ability to form and honor families, or that could protect them from discrimination and outright bullying and violence, should not be allowed." In other words, a code for hatred and discrimination toward GLBT people. Even though some of them like to fool themselves into believing that they don't actually hate us (they claim to "hate the sin not the sinner" but when it comes to the way you love, to something so intrinsic to who you are as a person, then they are kidding themselves when they assume so-called "sin" and "sinner" can be separated from each other. If they hate that our hearts love people of the same gender, then they inevitably hate who we are as well, even if they try to convince themselves otherwise.)<br /><br />I agree (and I think Dave is saying also) that none of this is what the term "Family Values" *should* mean. But it is used so very heavily and consistently in exactly that fashion that I now normally cringe when I hear the term "Family Values" because I know that it is most likely being used by a person who, in the next breath, will claim that GLBT people don't have any and should basically be pushed out to the margins of society, away from the "good" straight people. The term "family values" is just not going to have a positive connotation for me until more people like Dave (and you) take it back and use it for all the ideas that it SHOULD mean, whether attached to a particular religion or none at all.Andrea S.http://gdrl.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-17635774796512557012012-02-20T06:57:05.932-05:002012-02-20T06:57:05.932-05:00I still tense up when I hear someone say "fam...I still tense up when I hear someone say "family values" because where I live I know that I'm about to be bullied spiritually and possibly even physically. I respect differing opinions and faiths, I just wish they would respect, and not feel the need to go on attack. In my state the 'Don't Say Gay' bill would forbid any teacher up until the high school year to say any words that would allude the the existance of homosexuality. We are to be removed from existence in language, is their any greater hint about what they'd like to do to us if they actually could. "Family Values" as I live them are about welcome, "Family Values" as said by those of a particular faith spill out into the street and into the legislature. You bet I fear them. I loved my faith as a child, I loved believing in a God that loved me. To hear that that God who accepted my childhood worship would reject my adult love hurts more than anything you might imagine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-87819064213007157862012-02-20T06:46:02.272-05:002012-02-20T06:46:02.272-05:00Hi Dave... I value family! So do my kids. I have a...Hi Dave... I value family! So do my kids. I have a brother by which society would think I use the term brother loosely. My kids have an uncle which the above would apply to also. My brother is thirty years older than me and is not biologically related to myself or my parents. I have only had my brother since I was 17 years old. My brother, for the very first time in his life... broached social communication this year, well actually the past couple of weeks, at the ripe old age of 67, when he asked how my step mothers sister was doing (she's been sick/hospitalized) much to everyones shock!!!! My brother values family!Bubbleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03068381906840645929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-47737728134417048592012-02-20T06:09:23.431-05:002012-02-20T06:09:23.431-05:00Anon, I do not believe that David is suggesting th...Anon, I do not believe that David is suggesting that families should exist without values. In the United States primarily, the term 'Family Values' was used as part of a movement to deny gay rights and to attack feminist assertions about male privilege. Whenever I heard someone say 'Family Values' inevitably they were going to spout some anti gay or anti feminist rhetoric.Janetnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-2849580270504717622012-02-20T04:54:41.782-05:002012-02-20T04:54:41.782-05:00I have to disagree that "Family Values" ...I have to disagree that "Family Values" means mostly discrimination and hatred. Family values are all the things you listed - and I didn't see any hate and discrimination in that. <br /><br />Family values are usually as individual as the family - and often bond the family together. Some values may be about time, other work ethics, some are about social issues, other spiritual - all the things that make up the days. These and others are the things that are mirrored and practiced by people in the "family". The working side by side and making a contribution are some of your wee family's values. <br /><br />Also not accurate is stating that "Family Values" implies complete and accepting love. That would be nice - but not necessarily correct. <br /><br />I believe that Family Values can be a healthy thing, creating a family that is life giving and supportive of each other. Values create a safe environment. They encourage you to spend quality time together. They foster an environment in which individuals know each ones responsibilities. Further, and importantly, values instill respect one for another. <br /><br />Sound like something you have.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-28653813264539828962012-02-20T03:47:00.885-05:002012-02-20T03:47:00.885-05:00Dear Dave and Joe,
somewhere I read that "fr...Dear Dave and Joe,<br /><br />somewhere I read that "friends are the family you choose".<br /><br />And I think they are very important. My family and my friends.<br /><br />And you an Joe through your posts.<br /><br />Take good care of yourself and Joe<br />JuliaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com