tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post7409009982598115474..comments2024-03-16T19:36:23.953-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Announcing the Turn: a blog for parents of kids with disabilitiesDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-42815947143516744822013-10-31T12:46:13.453-04:002013-10-31T12:46:13.453-04:00I only saw this post today, I have been AWOL from ...I only saw this post today, I have been AWOL from reading blogs for a while. <br /> When Ricki died, I half-braced myself for the possibility that someone would say that I must be relieved...and I really did not want to come to hate others nor to erupt in anger. So.... Quite frankly, when a "consoler" came who I suspected might go in that direction, I tried to preempt such comments by saying something like "Yes, things may be easier now, but who says I WANT 'easier'? 'Easy' isn't always 'BEST' ". So, thankfully, only one lady came close to saying something REALLY stupid. [A good friend of mine was there also at the time, and we rolled our eyeballs at each other as Mrs. "foot-in-her-mouth " blithely, and unaware of this, continued her monologue. <br /> However, a lot of people tried to "console" me by "reassuring" me that I had done "The Best", "the maximum", "beyond the normal". And this really peeved me off. I was mourning RICKI, my daughter. She was my DAUGHTER, not a "duty" to be "handled". And I DID tell these people that even if I had done my "best" , I MISSED her!!<br /><br /> Dave, if you think that my blog will help these parents, place pass on the link:<br /><br />http://beneaththewings.blogspot.co.il/<br /><br />Ricki died August 8, 2012, and blogs relating to mourning are interspersed with other stuff since then.<br />Rickismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04078192111057725026noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-70062023334497240672013-10-22T23:33:01.808-04:002013-10-22T23:33:01.808-04:00My thoughts are with you and the family.
Tell you...My thoughts are with you and the family.<br /><br />Tell your friend that some of us are doing just that. Every single day. xoPsychojenichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02936930614210195529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-59834438471531053192013-10-21T13:19:06.090-04:002013-10-21T13:19:06.090-04:00Dear Dave:
My condolences to these grieving paren...Dear Dave:<br /><br />My condolences to these grieving parents and to you in the loss of this young man.<br /><br />I had similar experiences when my daughter died and even my brother, who also had DS. Despite my Christian belief in heaven, there is no better place for a 4 year old than with her family, or for a 51 year old than with his family. It is not a relief when anyone dies, it is a shock and a grief and a heart break. My thoughts and prayers are with you.<br /><br />ColleenColleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-85150365287246544852013-10-20T09:55:34.811-04:002013-10-20T09:55:34.811-04:00My condolences to the parents--both for the terrib...My condolences to the parents--both for the terrible loss of their child and also the way that so many people in their lives refused to acknowledge the meaning of that loss.Andrea S.http://andreashettle.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-31391302976372902822013-10-19T20:11:50.086-04:002013-10-19T20:11:50.086-04:00I am sorry for the empty place in this mother'...I am sorry for the empty place in this mother's life now, and so sorry that her loss was not honoured as it deserved to be. I hope that in some small way, the recognition here that her loss is as great as that of any mother who is pre-deceased by a child; will be comfort.Belindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09251920708783268740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-3422012496056390192013-10-19T02:02:17.984-04:002013-10-19T02:02:17.984-04:00My deepest sympathies to the family on the heartbr...My deepest sympathies to the family on the heartbreaking loss of their son. People just don't know when they haven't been there I think. That's no excuse though. No parent should have to say good-bye to their dear ones. Colehttp://www.nicolehinesstarkey.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-74101030705561773682013-10-18T20:54:39.351-04:002013-10-18T20:54:39.351-04:00I can only imagine the depth of their grief...to l...I can only imagine the depth of their grief...to lose your child at any age has got to be the most painful loss of all. My heart just aches for them and I can think of no words that will truly comfort. What a good friend you are, Dave, that she felt safe sharing her anger and sadness with you. How long before others understand our children are not burdens to us but they are our joy.bernieost@aol.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-87796206232291645122013-10-18T20:49:35.882-04:002013-10-18T20:49:35.882-04:00It was always hard, as a kid, to watch the MDA tel...It was always hard, as a kid, to watch the MDA telethon footage every year of my parents crying about my birth and diagnosis. It's normal, and I understand it, but it's still hard to watch people mourn your birth as a loss and tragedy. But it's much worse every time I see somebody with a disability pass away, and hear all the comments about how it's a blessing. We're the only people on earth who can expect our birth to be mourned, and our death to be celebrated.... <br /><br />I am very sorry for this family's loss.Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06868874343026873104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-85489089435019983902013-10-18T16:54:27.450-04:002013-10-18T16:54:27.450-04:00A child is a child. PERIOD
There are rough momen...A child is a child. PERIOD <br />There are rough moments with every child however normal or challenged they may be. But there hopefully is always the love like that expressed by that family.<br />My Son took his life last year so I have a glimpse of her pain. I hope they can find a support group that will help them when they are ready for this new walk. I found a Bereaved Parens group. <br />Today -- grieve. Tomorrow - face with grace and strength that has carried you through from his birth to his death.<br />My prayers.Flemisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-69162861490304896212013-10-18T15:46:41.629-04:002013-10-18T15:46:41.629-04:00My condolences to all--Mom, Dad, and you, Dave. I...My condolences to all--Mom, Dad, and you, Dave. I am so sorry the grief is compounded by the missed understandings of others.<br /><br />SueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-75953478071916111142013-10-18T14:28:06.270-04:002013-10-18T14:28:06.270-04:00I love my child. He's four and a half months o...I love my child. He's four and a half months old and he has Down syndrome. I love him to bits and he is wonderful.<br />I see that some people find it odd or seem incredulous, maybe think that I am being dishonest.<br />You are so right in what you say. Thank you Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-74377427539663028492013-10-18T13:34:17.749-04:002013-10-18T13:34:17.749-04:00There is hardly a pain more searing than losing yo...There is hardly a pain more searing than losing your child, and people say the most stupid things. Our pastor said, "Oh you mustn't grieve, your daughter is running in the streets of heaven." We didn't want her in the streets of heaven, we wanted her back in our arms.<br /><br />To the grieving parents, there are no words which will ease your pain. But there is great compassion. Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14133236228952504852noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-83693125125187542032013-10-18T13:21:07.979-04:002013-10-18T13:21:07.979-04:00I can only offer my condolences and hope that he m...I can only offer my condolences and hope that he many happy memories they have of their son will be some comfort. A poor response to a post hat moved me to tears.<br />KTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-23482997539831564822013-10-18T11:34:48.860-04:002013-10-18T11:34:48.860-04:00I think everyone can take a lesson from this, whet...I think everyone can take a lesson from this, whether they have a child with disabilities or not. I know being a young mom, there were many tears and many moments of frustration and feeling lost or unable to be a good parent. I doubt very much that people looked at my son as a burden when I was feeling overwhelmed, why should children with disabilities be any different. People could say the same thing about someone who's child struggles with an addiction that has been hard on the family, you just don't say those things! Those people are very ignorant, inconsiderate and blind to reality, a loss is a loss and it is heartbreaking no matter what affect the relationship had on your life. It's important for individuals to open their eyes. I am deeply sorry for this loss, and for the comments that had come afterwards. Their son was a blessing and a joy and the good memories are always the ones we hold on to after someone has passed. I hope his life is celebrated! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10726401369727134184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-80269522105568764992013-10-18T11:24:07.659-04:002013-10-18T11:24:07.659-04:00My sincerest condolences.My sincerest condolences.Extranjerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13972708570414496825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-20777485221434671412013-10-18T11:11:23.174-04:002013-10-18T11:11:23.174-04:00First, my deepest sympathies. Our son with DS is 1...First, my deepest sympathies. Our son with DS is 16 - and we're going to his first self-advocacy conference in a few weeks. He also was a handful - and still can be once in awhile.<br /><br />I can't imagine anyone ever saying he was a burden. Just can't imagine. Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04624151975591059655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-27711743028660420032013-10-18T09:32:12.413-04:002013-10-18T09:32:12.413-04:00Dave, for some reason I'm reminded of my own m...Dave, for some reason I'm reminded of my own mom on many occasions expressing apprehension about women over 35 becoming pregnant ("Their babies could have problems.") When I finally got her to identify the "problem" as Down Syndrome, and suggested that lots of folks with DS had lives that were just fine, mom stopped making those comments (to me). I guess that's a kind of progress. <br /><br />My condolences to your friend and her husband. I don't want to think about losing a child, even when that child is grown.Kris S.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-53391298496457679492013-10-18T08:46:12.671-04:002013-10-18T08:46:12.671-04:00My condolences to Mom and Dad. How dreadful to lo...My condolences to Mom and Dad. How dreadful to lose a child.<br /><br />Those words don't say what I want, but condolences never do, do they? Loss is so hard.Baba Yaganoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-59482424385693688582013-10-18T08:36:31.417-04:002013-10-18T08:36:31.417-04:00This is so very familiar.
My sincerest condolenc...This is so very familiar. <br /><br />My sincerest condolences to the family in their loss. Louisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05460117480302002841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-61784595499945686762013-10-18T08:27:57.221-04:002013-10-18T08:27:57.221-04:00I'm so terribly sorry for their loss, and hope...I'm so terribly sorry for their loss, and hope that they have many wonderful memories to sustain them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com