tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post7348164846932890952..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Who Am I Becoming??Dave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-66118426304125649252013-08-17T12:49:22.125-04:002013-08-17T12:49:22.125-04:00Maybe you did the best thing in the world for him....Maybe you did the best thing in the world for him. He acted stupidly and there are consequences for that. Maybe he'll think next time and that will save him from something worse.<br />Plus, you knew the guy wouldn't get really hurt. You just took momentary refuge in watching a fool get to feel foolish. Wanting a bit of fairness is just as valid as anything else. You may have prevented him from being cruel to someone less able to take it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-76759876816333000832013-08-17T07:40:52.636-04:002013-08-17T07:40:52.636-04:00That sounds tired, to me.
You should have spoken,...That sounds tired, to me.<br /><br />You should have spoken, effectively or not. Still, your disturbed mood suggests it's not the first step on the slippery slope. Just a bit of weariness.<br /><br />If it's still bothering you, accept the lesson, give your weariness some tlc, and let it go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-37062104766116020532013-08-16T10:47:06.962-04:002013-08-16T10:47:06.962-04:00Nah, I smiled reading this one!! Just a pity I was...Nah, I smiled reading this one!! Just a pity I was not there to see it unfold.....perhaps its UK humour.....but I loved it!!Mark Pathakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04337879246406979744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-36209868174107636582013-08-16T07:39:23.448-04:002013-08-16T07:39:23.448-04:00Dave, it's not your job to prevent the Univers...Dave, it's not your job to prevent the Universe from teaching people the lessons they need to learn. <br /><br />That man needed a good, hard smack into a brick wall to remind him not to stare and judge. You almost prevented the Universe from getting that message across in a crystal clear, painful way.<br /><br />All I'm saying is, sometimes you need to sit back and let the Universe do its job. <br /><br />SueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-59817010048863344252013-08-15T21:01:06.916-04:002013-08-15T21:01:06.916-04:00No, Dave.
You are human. You have imperfections.
...No, Dave. <br />You are human. You have imperfections.<br />Just like the rest of us.wheeliecronehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10570378001102933660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-63308897961308810252013-08-15T16:18:43.243-04:002013-08-15T16:18:43.243-04:00Dave, I understand your concern. My suggestion is...Dave, I understand your concern. My suggestion is that you give it a bit more thought -- oh, maybe two minutes' worth -- and then let it go, forgive yourself. And if you're wondering exactly what to ponder in those two minutes, ask yourself just what you could have done or said to stop him from bashing into that thing.<br />Just because you see something happening does not mean you can prevent it.<br />I have just said a prayer for that man -- he's rudely oblivious to others' feelings, and he apparently lives with a woman who seems like quite a harridan. That does not excuse his behavior, of course, but it doesn't sound like a very good life.Jeannettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05909196786266434960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-52290839069590439652013-08-15T13:34:46.833-04:002013-08-15T13:34:46.833-04:00Dave... I am going to be honest here.... I did not...Dave... I am going to be honest here.... I did not feel sorry for the man. Sometimes, folks need a wake up call. Maybe this will be his, but likely not. Ignorance is so prevalent in our society that it would take more than a little mishap with a window box to jolt some common sense and decency into some folks. We all make choices we are not proud of from time to time, we learn from them and try not to repeat them. S Bogartnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-20693063482358409222013-08-15T13:26:03.563-04:002013-08-15T13:26:03.563-04:00To n. -- Yes, it was Black Girl Dangerous. Here is...To n. -- Yes, it was Black Girl Dangerous. Here is the link:<br /><br />http://blackgirldangerous.org/new-blog/2013/4/22/hey-white-liberals<br /><br />It's a good and very honest read about how not being treated with empathy tends to erode empathy. I know that a lot of people feel judgmental about what she has to say, and believe that we should have empathy no matter what. In a perfect world, or even in a world in which people are treated with some baseline of empathy, that's true. In the world we live in, people get ground down and have their hearts broken in the cruelest ways and it's difficult to keep the flow of lovingkindness going sometimes. That's human.Rachelhttp://www.disabilityandrepresentation.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-52038160470710968052013-08-15T13:02:48.290-04:002013-08-15T13:02:48.290-04:00Dear Dave:
Don't beat yourself up. You are ri...Dear Dave:<br /><br />Don't beat yourself up. You are right, you do have to decide who you are and how you want to behave regardless of what other people do and how they behave. You are only human, Dave. I can see how being stared at would wear a person down. From what I know of you, you are a very empathetic person. Learning opportunity - for the rude man and for you. Let's hope he has at least a fraction of your capacity for introspection!<br /><br />ColleenColleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-7160470591558278932013-08-15T08:26:41.565-04:002013-08-15T08:26:41.565-04:00This makes sense. Also I remember that article, ma...This makes sense. Also I remember that article, maybe it was by Black Girl Dangerous?n.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17677317372343868030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-59149346937947729352013-08-15T08:13:33.136-04:002013-08-15T08:13:33.136-04:00Dave,
No matter how many people comment on here an...Dave,<br />No matter how many people comment on here and say that he deserved it, it will not change your view.<br /><br />In your heart, you know that you did wrong, you could have and should have warned him.<br /><br />However, don't beat yourself up about it. It just proves that you are human. You had a short time to react and didn't do it. He was not seriously hurt. You will learn from it and move on.<br /><br />Jim <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-29314428653522979652013-08-15T08:10:50.284-04:002013-08-15T08:10:50.284-04:00I see what you are saying but you know he was resp...I see what you are saying but you know he was responsible for himself. My old Catholic nan would have said the "devil did that to you for being horrible!" <br />So it wasn't you. It was bad Karma or the devil. You're excused.<br />He won't do it again too quickly.<br />I know 2 wrongs don't make a right, another great cliche but oh so it does sometimes.<br />Maybe you old have hollered " hey with a few more bigoted steps youre heading for a cropper!" But you didn't and enough said!.<br />Jayne Waleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14453464335047666502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-25754676296411247932013-08-15T08:03:15.285-04:002013-08-15T08:03:15.285-04:00I guess you will never know if he would even have ...I guess you will never know if he would even have paid attention to your warning. <br /><br />When walking around town with a friend of mine, who has a disability and uses a wheelchair, there was a man walking ahead of us with his family. He caught sight of my friend. He turned around and walked backwards for at least 50 paces so he could have a good long stare at my friend. <br /><br />In my opinion if he had fallen over it would have been his own fault for being so rude. <br /><br />Despite this, I do see where you are coming from. It does us good to be compassionate to all people, even the really rude ones. <br /><br />The Shorter Bloggesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03445610950545349674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-76664617981647546542013-08-15T07:17:42.198-04:002013-08-15T07:17:42.198-04:00I think it's good to have these little wake-up...I think it's good to have these little wake-up calls once in a while. I don't want to be the kind of person who would take satisfaction in the misfortune of others, no matter how it comes about. I am my brothers keeper, even if my brother doesn't hold up his end. Viewing people through a bitter filter doesn't change them and makes me feel diminished.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-40202450616885664442013-08-15T05:32:45.147-04:002013-08-15T05:32:45.147-04:00I was reading a piece a little while back by an Af...I was reading a piece a little while back by an African-American woman about empathy erosion. She was saying that she feels less and less empathy for the pain of white people because socially and politically, there is so little empathy for the pain of black people. She feels like she's been having deep empathy for years for people who care very little about her situation.<br /><br />I think that some of that is going on here. You've been the recipient of so much crap from able-bodied, normatively sized people and it's natural you'd feel ground down and too tired to care. I'm not sure what the solution is, because I hear you on not wanting to become bitter and unempathetic. But perhaps the beginning of the solution is to cut yourself some slack and see why you're feeling this way. I think it's easier to turn back to the right path when you realize why you ended up on the wrong one. You're only human, after all.Rachelhttp://www.disabilityandrepresentation.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-60511531959279068732013-08-15T05:11:35.655-04:002013-08-15T05:11:35.655-04:00Bahahahaha Dave. Love it and sometimes karma just...Bahahahaha Dave. Love it and sometimes karma just takes care of stuff. I had an instance of this sort of thing many years ago. <br />My then husband, my brother and I were getting out of the car and unloading my wheelchair from the back. I was still in my seat as I watched two young women run back to their car which was parked in a reserved crip spot. I challenged them and she told me to get stuffed etc. I continued to challenge her. She put her car into reverse while still yelling at me. All three of us watched her reverse and we ALL knew where she was headed. NONE of us warned her about what we saw was going to happen. She reversed quickly and angrily into a big solid bollard. BAHAHAHA gee did we laugh at her! She swore some more and drove off.<br /><br />I think she came back later and kicked my wheelchair carrier as there was a big footprint on part of the metal when we got back!<br /><br />Dunno about god but karma fixed this one. And I loved it.<br /><br />Call it natural justice Dave, and just smile :)Gleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17671758996746410949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-40011765789181199302013-08-15T00:13:10.609-04:002013-08-15T00:13:10.609-04:00Likely he would not have realized or heeded your w...<br />Likely he would not have realized or heeded your warning.<br /><br />This does not excuse you, but I think you are assuming you actually could have made a difference.<br /><br />Now, just do your schadenfreude privately (public grinning at other people's pain is discouraged).<br /><br />You felt guilty fairly quickly afterward - that's the good part. But I think you would have had to make a huge fuss to get him to listen to you before that - and he might have hit the wall anyway, and would then have blamed YOU for distracting him.<br /><br />The punishment for his bad behavior didn't come from you.<br /><br />Now, in contrition, say a little prayer, such as 'Dear God, I hope that knocked some sense into him.'<br />ABEAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com