tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post4931306588279408789..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Golly Gee WillikersDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-3255084538137236502015-08-14T03:26:22.643-04:002015-08-14T03:26:22.643-04:00Being gay NOW has laws to protect them. But at on...Being gay NOW has laws to protect them. But at one time they were vulnerable - thus the laws. A system is made up by people. It is possible to avoid abusing power. With power comes responsibility. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-22434551259967476482015-08-13T16:24:09.788-04:002015-08-13T16:24:09.788-04:00Abuse isn't just an individual problem. It'...Abuse isn't just an individual problem. It's a systemic problem. When you have more power over people than anyone should ever have, it's impossible to avoid abusing that power. (Just the fact that you have it hurts them, even if you behave perfectly.)Rutihttp://realsocialskills.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-81583725405545024002015-08-13T16:21:08.337-04:002015-08-13T16:21:08.337-04:00Laws to protect gay people increase the penalties ...Laws to protect gay people increase the penalties for hate crimes. They don't require gay people to have minders who assess the risk of everything they want to do and decide whether or not they will be allowed to do it. It's not analogous at all.Rutihttp://realsocialskills.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-32732168271484363622015-08-13T02:37:42.341-04:002015-08-13T02:37:42.341-04:00This is an interesting read. I know I am vulnerab...This is an interesting read. I know I am vulnerable in many areas. The difference is knowing, and thus preparing or protecting. It is ok to be vulnerable. We are not super-human. I need you, you need me. A friend of mine is a recovered/recovering cocaine addict. He is "vulnerable" in this area. It could be easy to slip into it again. He knows he is vulnerable and takes great care not to put himself into any place or situation that could lead him off his new chosen path. He is not a victim. <br /><br />I think those in care are vulnerable, but they don't need to be victims. Systems are/should be in place to make sure. Power and knowledge should given and taught to the people in care to not be a victim. We teach our children about strangers - why? They are vulnerable to being preyed on. (Why did you watch the girls in the line?) We don't want those who may not be able to stand up for themselves to be victims. <br /><br />I don't feel that it is "we the abuser" - abusers seem to be on an individual basis. Example - not all husbands beat their wives; not all extended caregivers abuse their patients; not all children laugh at fat people; not all...There are and always will be groups of people who are more vulnerable than others. Just ask those being beheaded for their beliefs. Others may have a disability, or be old, or be young, or be gay, others not. There are laws to protect such - and I am thankful for them. As I said, interesting topic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-62448516042942581612015-08-12T21:33:08.473-04:002015-08-12T21:33:08.473-04:00To anonymous who said "being vulnerable does ...To anonymous who said "being vulnerable does not make a person a victim", you're right. Vulnerability is a human trait we all share and its not in itself a bad thing. But identifying someone as Vulnerable is a whole different thing. And thats where Daves perspective is the righter one. <br /><br />I am a disabled, care dependant adult. My able-bodied friends treat me like one of them, recognising what I can't do and what I need help with without that altering my status as equal to them. We talk about my vulnerabilities the same way we talk about their vulnerabilities, in normal conversations that bond people and communities together. I feel safe around my friends, not because I think they can protect me from harm but because they dont treat me as if I need protecting. They dont make me feel helpless and they dont take away my personal power.Their attitude to me is enabling and empowering.<br /><br />I have a Vulnerable Adult label on my officialdom files. This label causes statutory people/agency carers to infantilise me and refuse to listen to me, even when I'm saying no to harmful things. I am the same person that my friends know but the lens of Vulnerable changes the way I'm seen and related to and I suffer as a result. I live this experience. I am made helpless by it. It does not keep me safe and it doesnt prevent me being victimised and hurt. And I know many other disabled people feel the same way.<br /><br />In reality all of us are vulnerable to all kinds of harm. You could be attacked, stolen from, bullied, conned, assaulted etc just as easily as I can, and labelling me as "More Vulnerable" to these life events doesnt actually make *you* "Less Vulnerable" to them, which is often what it feels like people are wanting when they use this categorisation. <br /><br /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br /> Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16595277303954088344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-28903130844844517732015-08-12T13:52:43.039-04:002015-08-12T13:52:43.039-04:00Ruti - thanks for your comment. I was having troub...Ruti - thanks for your comment. I was having trouble finding words to explain what you did so clearly. <br />Dave, I did not realize that the idea of people needing to learn how to protect themselves rather than rely on others for 'protection' had a basis in your writing. <br />I can imagine how hard it was for this girl's parents to hold back and allow her to protect herself using the skills she had learned..and I wanted to cheer for her as I read the story. <br />All kids need to learn how to deal with bullies and how to be an effective responder instead of a silent bystander...and ALL adults need to take a good look at their own behavior - how you speak about clerks, servers, anyone who seems to have a 'lower' social role than your own, or who has beliefs significantly different from your own - can contain bullying or 'othering' language that implies a permission to treat an individual with LESS respect than you provide to those you perceive to be 'like you.' Creating or tolerating an atmosphere where those who are 'different' are perceived as 'less valuable' helps create the conditions where bullying behaviors take place. <br />Glad you are writing regularly, Dave, as i missed reading you with my morning coffee. <br /><br />clairesmumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82671202216823011082015-08-12T13:35:17.798-04:002015-08-12T13:35:17.798-04:00Soooo much applause and props to those parents!! S...Soooo much applause and props to those parents!! Stepping back and watching quietly while kids work through things themselves is way harder than it seems like it should be. But teaching a child to advocate for themself is a much bigger accomplishment than advocating for them. (There are certainly plenty of times and places for adult intervention, of course. But we should learn to override our intervention instincts sometimes.)Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06868874343026873104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-29685980411542384632015-08-12T11:18:15.348-04:002015-08-12T11:18:15.348-04:00Wonderful - what really impresses me (and maybe th...Wonderful - what really impresses me (and maybe this is obvious to you) but in asserting herself, this young woman was demonstrating true leadership - which gave courage to the others in line to follow in her suit and put the "line cutting bully" into her true place!<br /><br />Kudos for great leadership skills!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-53518700783710580982015-08-12T10:43:49.695-04:002015-08-12T10:43:49.695-04:00Thank you for this.....will share with my coworker...Thank you for this.....will share with my coworkers.<br />theknapper@hotmail.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82222701345323787642015-08-12T09:46:22.058-04:002015-08-12T09:46:22.058-04:00@Anonymous
This isn't analogous, because peop...@Anonymous<br /><br />This isn't analogous, because people who think of themselves as protectors are not like sunscreen.<br /><br />When people with disabilities are identified as vulnerable, they're also stripped of rights and intensively supervised. That's not safe. People are most likely to be abused by people providing that kind of supervision and control.<br /><br />And if someone appointed for your protection whether you like it or not hurts you, you can't get away from them. That makes people less safe.<br /><br />Some people have support needs. No one needs what's done to "the vulnerable" in the name of protection.Rutihttp://realsocialskills.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-64953361183476690922015-08-12T08:54:48.190-04:002015-08-12T08:54:48.190-04:00By identifying where vulnerabilities occur, we pre...By identifying where vulnerabilities occur, we prevent harm because we focus extra protection and attention there. People who are identified as vulnerable to skin cancer wear sunscreen.<br /><br />Being vulnerable does not make a person a victim.<br /><br />Ignoring vulnerability increases risk of victimization.<br /><br />You really seem to need to distort these things.<br /><br />Police identify vulnerable populations for the same reason doctors identify who is vulnerable to skin cancer. Failure to identify who is vulnerable opens the door to increased harm risk. The vulnerable label does not indicate victimhood as you try to infer, it actually prevents victimization.<br /><br />Like the gathering place, the "vulnerable" label decreases harm to vulnerable people. It prevents them from becoming victims in fact. Just as sunscreen prevents some people from becoming cancer victims.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-87817479143428428482015-08-12T08:28:18.189-04:002015-08-12T08:28:18.189-04:00Love this Dave! Love love love it! So very true!Love this Dave! Love love love it! So very true!Colleennoreply@blogger.com