tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post4757362073112498624..comments2024-03-19T07:36:33.915-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Rude One, Rude TwoDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-41873459803455591312011-03-03T12:32:33.374-05:002011-03-03T12:32:33.374-05:00I'd just like to point out, it doesn't see...I'd just like to point out, it doesn't seem like this was the situation here, but in some cases disability does excuse 'rudeness' - when the person doesn't know any better or isn't able to phrase it any better. I remember getting annoyed when I met a 10 year old boy with two communicate words and 5 or so prompted signs, because someone had seen fit to waste precious teaching time in training him to sign 'please' and 'thank you'. They could have much better used that time to teach him something like 'quiet' (he had auditory sensitivities) or 'finished' (he communicated wanting to stop an activity by yelling and pulling hair).<br /><br />And I think not enough people know the difference between rudeness and meanness. I'd take the difference as 'if I strip away social meaning and look at the literal communication the person is making, is it offensive?'Ettinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08230821659466586897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-59860272857499922832011-02-28T22:38:47.286-05:002011-02-28T22:38:47.286-05:00I just wanted to say that I have been reading your...I just wanted to say that I have been reading your blog for about a month now and I really appreciate your perspective. I work for an organization that opperates group homes and supported living programs for adults with disabilities and I am pretty new in the field. I do not have a disability nor does anyone in my family though we do have our fair share of significant mental illness which carries with it discrimination. <br /><br />What I am trying to say is that your insights have helped me to know better how to treat people with disabilities with dignity and respect without belittling them. <br /><br />Thanks for blogging your words are making a difference even out on the cold praries of Saskatchewan.Jordan Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07244012492673540157noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-16520268213954888612011-02-28T18:20:04.604-05:002011-02-28T18:20:04.604-05:00I remember being at a funeral of a man with a disa...I remember being at a funeral of a man with a disability whose rudeness was applauded as independence. He and I had had many a conversation about how he did indeed have rights but he also had responsibilities. <br /><br />Perhaps if he had listened a bit more he might still be alive today.<br /><br />MyrAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-49372990665123327732011-02-28T13:04:14.022-05:002011-02-28T13:04:14.022-05:00Pet peeve of mine is people who do not use (as Col...Pet peeve of mine is people who do not use (as Colleen stated) common courtesy. I believe in, as simple as it is....to treat those the way you would like to be treated. If that means I need to be called out on a not so nice attitude or being reminded to use my manners then so be it and vise versa.....The simple use of manners goes a very long way. Totally called for in this situation!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-49092126238574810442011-02-28T10:48:11.418-05:002011-02-28T10:48:11.418-05:00chair or no chair people need to be polite in aski...chair or no chair people need to be polite in asking what they want. if we all went around demanding GIVE ME WHAT I WANT NOW! it would be bedlam. a little courtesy goes a long way. and some people just dont care. they truly dont. its GIVE ME WHAT I WANT NOW! or I will give you a tantrum and then get what I want. if only those people could learn to back off and say would you mind giving me what I want? or could you please give me what I want? they might find that they get what they want a lot more often!MoonDoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11707506968348810606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-64082458651910069002011-02-28T10:20:03.059-05:002011-02-28T10:20:03.059-05:00Well said. I know that it has been pointed out to...Well said. I know that it has been pointed out to me once or twice that someone was only trying to be nice and I was very rude in return. I know that I am most often guilty of rudeness after someone insisting they need to assist me and then however unintentionally, making my task harder. The next person who does the slightest little thing has I am ashamed to say gotten told off once or twice. Displaced anger much?? :D<br />I have to work really really hard some times not to be rude.<br />I credit my family with this as they were determined not to let me be one of those bratty spoiled kids I went to school in my early years with. My Mom will still call me out on it. Sometimes she's right sometimes she's not. Being polite does not = allowing myself to be walked on. Mom and I see this differently. Sad thing is in my work I now see some of my contemporaries who have never grown past the bratty spoiled stage. Which makes me wonder is that why people are so rude to me from the outset? Its not right to make that leap but....<br />I think that's a be the change you want to see moment for me if there ever way oneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-1137544920331731922011-02-28T08:42:02.231-05:002011-02-28T08:42:02.231-05:00You called them on what they should have been call...You called them on what they should have been called on! Good for you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-22252136728634481962011-02-28T08:27:15.889-05:002011-02-28T08:27:15.889-05:00Dear Dave:
What you are talking about is what my ...Dear Dave:<br /><br />What you are talking about is what my mother used to call common courtesy - except it isn't all that common anymore.<br /><br />ColleenColleennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-41027939070090710332011-02-28T08:07:43.349-05:002011-02-28T08:07:43.349-05:00Rude is rude, no matter what the circumstances. Yo...Rude is rude, no matter what the circumstances. Your column explains clearly where that "it's ok for me to be demanding" attitude comes from. Kristine's comment explains how that attitude/behavior ends up leading to increased social isolation for disabilities.<br />"Please" and "thank you" and a genuine smile and a kind or neutral tone of voice make all the difference in how it feels to interact with another person. I don't mean 'fake nice' but just basic human respect.clairesmumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-82405926315275616542011-02-28T07:29:57.161-05:002011-02-28T07:29:57.161-05:00In my work, I am not allowed to ask for or expect ...In my work, I am not allowed to ask for or expect manners; it is "against recipients rights". So I move along being "demanded" to assist, burped on, passed gas on<br />(literally)no please, no thank you - ever!!! I have often thought I am doing no "favors" (and please don't vilify me for that word useage this time)in not asking for the same kindness and manners in return that I give.I am NOT asking for gratitiude for a paid position, but simple human kindness - and the same dignity I am expected to give in return. AS Clay and Kristine said so perfectly, "lifes too short to be an A hole"...."But it's also important to be nice! For my own well-being, as much as for everyone else's"!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-40271553597503714942011-02-28T06:57:53.259-05:002011-02-28T06:57:53.259-05:00The wheeliecrone says -
Yup. Some people who have ...The wheeliecrone says -<br />Yup. Some people who have mobility problems also have personality problems. That is unfortunate for them, but it does not give them the right to drip poison all over everyone they meet. The two women behaved rudely. You called them on it. Politely. Pleasantly. Firmly.<br />Well done, Dave.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-74652557478796935262011-02-28T02:22:59.091-05:002011-02-28T02:22:59.091-05:00I fully support you in that. I remember being a ki...I fully support you in that. I remember being a kid, and noticing that I didn't usually like being around adult women in wheelchairs. I'd met so many who just seemed bitter, unpleasant, and didn't know the words please or thank you, I also was bothered by how many kids I'd met with disabilities who just struck me as spoiled brats. I didn't want to be around them. I promised myself I'd never be like that! It's important to be strong and assertive. It's ok to be emotionally honest and not wear the happy face every single second. But it's also important to be nice! For my own well-being, as much as for everyone else's!Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06868874343026873104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-18758387587152123602011-02-28T01:20:29.677-05:002011-02-28T01:20:29.677-05:00Yeah, life's too short to be an A-hole, or to ...Yeah, life's too short to be an A-hole, or to put up with one.Clayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09424036357963352399noreply@blogger.com