tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post4085347770075978605..comments2024-03-16T19:36:23.953-04:00Comments on Of Battered Aspect: Boycotting Chewing the FatDave Hingsburgerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-49819094217841161202011-06-22T10:31:14.430-04:002011-06-22T10:31:14.430-04:00You know, that is an absolute shame that they have...You know, that is an absolute shame that they have to respond to a post about your life with such harsh words.<br /><br />To be honest, I (the nearly unoffendable) was actually offended by the word "faggy" more than I'd ever be offended by an entire pile of happy gay men :)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00504129564539676406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-87933712312807850932009-03-31T14:50:00.000-04:002009-03-31T14:50:00.000-04:00I got sick and so am several months behind and am ...I got sick and so am several months behind and am going backwards to catch up; under normal circumstances I am a daily reader and have been since almost the beginning.<BR/>I remember near the beginning having a few questions as you began to mention Joe, and that I had a little bit of the 'are they or aren't they, oh, I hope they *are* even though it's none of my business', because it would make me respect you even more - and it did.<BR/>I realize that's not fair, but it's human.<BR/>I remember how afraid I was as a teenager, and I remember watching others go through similar things, both around me and then as an adult looking around and looking back. I try to help where I can.<BR/><BR/>I read your blog as regularly as my health will permit.<BR/>I read it because I love your perspective. <BR/>And I'm going to challenge you with this comment, to take exception to something you say about yourself frequently.<BR/>You have on several occasions said that you have - I'm going to have to paraphrase here, but you've recently mentioned how you worry, expect the worst, etc. How you have something of a negative outlook. <BR/>Except that's not what I see, daily, through your words and perspective.<BR/>I come to your blog, every day if I can, because you so often see such wonder in the world around you.<BR/>Humor, yes. Insight, yes. Lessons, yes. But so often, with such *hope* for the future.<BR/>And you work so hard towards a day when more people can share and feel that hope.<BR/>I'm gay (well, it's a bit more complex than that, but I definitely identify as gay). I'm in a powerchair (post-polio). I've got severe energy-level limitations. And I work full-time and more for a Bay Area non-profit in California. <BR/>So much of what you write, just *resonates* with me, and I realize how selfish that might sound.<BR/><BR/>The post that this terrible flamer replied to, was one of these. I thought it was so very beautiful, your description of how you came to have this tradition. I could feel the love, adoration, pouring off the screen. It was and is beautiful. I am grateful to you for sharing such beauty with us, and I selfishly hope that this horrible flamer hasn't hurt you (or your life-partner) so deeply that you will hesitate to share such things with us in the future. <BR/>Your writing about such things, makes our lives that little bit better, those of us who haven't the gift for framing such images in words - we can take your gift of words and share them with those we love too. And that little candle you light, lights a few more along the way.<BR/><BR/>Sorry for rambling. Please accept a *hug* from a fellow-traveller.<BR/>Louis in the San Francisco Bay Area. I'm not posting this anonymously. If anyone here wants to reach me, you can put ldepointedulac in front of an at gmail and then add a dot com. I don't check that email box daily (I use yahoo), but I don't want to get spam in my primary email account, so I'm reluctant to post that one quite so publicly.Ianto Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11779600245875193356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-48176590734641338722009-01-01T14:39:00.000-05:002009-01-01T14:39:00.000-05:00I'm so glad God made you EXACTLY who you are. And ...I'm so glad God made you EXACTLY who you are. And helped you find Joe, the Best Supporting Actor in Chewing the Fat. <BR/><BR/>Cynthia FreemanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-38898867024265126632008-12-30T21:16:00.000-05:002008-12-30T21:16:00.000-05:00FYI, this post has generated more comments than an...FYI, this post has generated more comments than any other in the history of the blog. The previous record was 76. Thanks for all your support ...Dave Hingsburgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-80570329022872796342008-12-30T19:51:00.000-05:002008-12-30T19:51:00.000-05:00It's interesting that this person who wants to...It's interesting that this person who wants to boycott you (& would like others to follow) ended up creating this groundswell of support/love/admiration/appreciation.<BR/>I too like to read your posts with a cup of coffee before I start my day...that won't change. <BR/>Happy 2009 Everyone!!!!theknapperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06179049498112163140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-42161373050646843742008-12-30T16:42:00.000-05:002008-12-30T16:42:00.000-05:00Dear Dave, I can't think of anything to say, other...Dear Dave, I can't think of anything to say, other than I'm staying. I find your blog interesting and an essential part of my working day. Best wishes from Princeton, B.C.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-70953345813202719132008-12-30T16:27:00.000-05:002008-12-30T16:27:00.000-05:00Dave,I'm staying. Even though I don't understand ...Dave,<BR/><BR/>I'm staying. Even though I don't understand your relationship with Joe, it's none of my business. Even as a christian. It's between you and Joe and God. You three can figure it out, like you basically said yourself. <BR/><BR/>I will be now be frank and tell you that yours and Joe's relationship has me challenged me. I see in your blog how much you care for each other. I really don't think any of us should point the finger at anyone else. If I were a blogger would people decide to boycott my blog if they didn't like how I spent my money, or if they were teetollers and I mentioned having a glass of wine, or if my mode of dress offended them?<BR/><BR/>I feel very sad for you when you tell us about some of things you've endured from others, especially so-called christians. You have shown the love of Christ to those whom society has marginalized.<BR/><BR/>missy in michiganAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-65748061208459611962008-12-30T14:59:00.000-05:002008-12-30T14:59:00.000-05:00Staying.Staying.Liz Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09469435277058701080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-37791537071246006752008-12-29T20:52:00.000-05:002008-12-29T20:52:00.000-05:00molly, can you email me about seeing you tomorrow,...molly, can you email me about seeing you tomorrow, we have nothing on our schedule for tomorrow morning.Dave Hingsburgerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918601687946534172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-11899914734396087162008-12-29T20:03:00.000-05:002008-12-29T20:03:00.000-05:00Oy. I just have to say that I'm sorry that you had...Oy. I just have to say that I'm sorry that you had to deal with all of this. I'd been slacking on my blog reading lately but I'm going to check in every day from now on. Consider it an anti-boycott if you will. <BR/><BR/>See you (and Joe) tomorrow morning. Looking forward to it! <BR/><BR/>-MollyMollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15881590483174001768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-14422481489939627062008-12-29T17:29:00.000-05:002008-12-29T17:29:00.000-05:00I'm a little late to this party since I just found...I'm a little late to this party since I just found this post but I still feel that I need to add my voice to the many others who are supportive of your blog. <BR/>First, let me say that I am a lesbian and I have been out for many years. I came out in a time when many of us gay folks were treated like lepers and many of us were disowned by family and friends. I lost my daughter due to prejudice in the courts. I was fired from my job even though I had many job reviews that stated what a valued employee I was. I received hate mail for years from people I had counted as my friends. <BR/>Coming out is a lifetime process because with every new person we meet there is a decision to be made about disclosing our affectional preference. <BR/>So, I have paid my dues. I have stood up in the face of hatred and continued to believe that I am worthy of love. Being lesbian is one of my many facets. I am also a mom, a wheelchair bound disabled person, a recovering alcoholic (sober for over 15 years), a sister, an aunt, and so on and so on. People that hate others will use any justification they can find. <BR/>This is what I do when faced with predudice and hatred...I pray for those people to be restored to sanity and I ask that they might find love and acceptance in their own lives. I will continue to be me and I will love whomever I love. In the face of love hatred is a pale and impotent thing that slinks away to the dark corners of world. <BR/><BR/>I will end with this...I use the pen name Gracie when I comment on your blog but for today I will use my real name.<BR/> Sincerely,<BR/> Rita Tupin<BR/> Mineral Wells, Texas<BR/>I will not let hatred chase me back into a dark closet so I stand with you and Joe and I will never quit reading your blog!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-19764135528997440722008-12-29T14:47:00.000-05:002008-12-29T14:47:00.000-05:00Dave, I'm a little late to the discussion and late...Dave, I'm a little late to the discussion and late to show support but....man, I love both you and Joe. You are a wonderful couple that shows the world what true love can be. Thank you.<BR/><BR/>ChrystaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-39727063270878638022008-12-29T13:26:00.000-05:002008-12-29T13:26:00.000-05:00Dave, I have been a follower and fan of yours for ...Dave, I have been a follower and fan of yours for years now. I can not believe the negative energy and hatred this woman put into her comment. Your post was both inspiring, thoughtful and showed the true loving nature of your life with Joe. As a lesbian who works with people with disabilities, I find it surprising that advocacy for one marginalized group does not extend to all groups. I am with you.lainerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12936794048995204346noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-9464076618463305832008-12-29T11:08:00.000-05:002008-12-29T11:08:00.000-05:00Oh my...Dave and Joe, there's nothing I can say th...Oh my...Dave and Joe, there's nothing I can say that hasn't been said. I'm with the person who commented, "You're okay. She's mean."wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14790763688701278823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-31980488608581877392008-12-29T10:14:00.000-05:002008-12-29T10:14:00.000-05:00Well, I scanned through all the posts above and th...Well, I scanned through all the posts above and they all seemed positive. Looks like hatred and cowardice go hand and hand (as usual).<BR/><BR/>You are the person you are and it seems like alot of people respect and like you. Your relationship with Joe is a part of who you are and makes you the man that people like and respect. I don't understand why some people have a hard time understanding that. <BR/><BR/>I'm not God, or the kind of judgemental idiot who would dare to decide what's right or wrong. What I am is a guy who's met you both and thinks you're good people. That's enough for me.<BR/><BR/>Don CarrickAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-15646916115393199712008-12-29T08:03:00.000-05:002008-12-29T08:03:00.000-05:00I'm not sure if I have commented here before, and ...I'm not sure if I have commented here before, and I have not taken time to read all your comments here, but I need to add my 2 cents.<BR/><BR/>Your post was about tradition, and love, and family. There was no discussion of "nasty sex," your discussion could have been of the relationship between a man and his carer who had become close friends. Of course the relationship between you and Joe is far deeper and longer lasting than that; he's been with you since before you were disabled, just like my husbands.<BR/><BR/>I am not a Christian. Part of what that means is that I don't have any set ideas as to what form love can take, and I have no need to dictate other people's behavior to feel justified in my own life.<BR/><BR/>Please don't change how your write. Your family and your life are important parts of how you live your life, and should be addressed in your posts. And frankly, I don't think you need a reader who is choking down bile at the thought of your sex life -- let them take their dirty minds and perverse thoughts elsewhere. The thoughts of your sex life are not brought on by your stories but by his own focus on the issue. Perhaps the writer should spend a little time in personal reflection.Aliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08116105964610355563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-2648121535988612202008-12-28T23:48:00.000-05:002008-12-28T23:48:00.000-05:00Not leaving. Not phased. Those who can't learn to...Not leaving. Not phased. Those who can't learn tolerance are only bound to be left behind.Dustinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11131777183630984734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-39136236818008510422008-12-28T22:27:00.000-05:002008-12-28T22:27:00.000-05:00I'm. just. stunned. There's always one, isn't ther...I'm. just. stunned. There's always one, isn't there? You know, the one who makes you just shake your head and ask "What's WRONG with people?!?!"<BR/><BR/>I'm not gay, nor do I (currently) have any gay friends. That's not a choice, it's just how it is at the moment. And being a preacher's kid, I've seen and heard a lot of debate on both sides. But here's what I've decided (and also what I told a family member when they came out to me several years ago): This is a crazy world, a hard world, one full of tough times and challenges. And the best way to face it is with someone you love supporting you. And if, in this nutty world, you can find that kind of love, the kind that will stay strong when everything else seemes to be falling apart...well, then, that is a special and oh-so-precious gift. Should we really care about the packaging? If you received a diamond wrapped in old newspaper, would it be any less precious? And if you received cow dung wrapped in a Tiffany's box, would it be any less distasteful? What's inside is the real gift. Whether it comes in pants or a skirt should make no difference at all. Love is love, and when we find it, we should grab tight with both hands and hang on for dear life.<BR/><BR/>I'm SO sorry that someone chose to aim their uneducated, insensitive, crap in your direction. I love reading about you and Joe, and you should not have to 'type on eggshells' just because ONE person disagrees. <BR/><BR/>Let them leave. I'm staying.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16171428636839043425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-44517875176009119622008-12-28T18:27:00.000-05:002008-12-28T18:27:00.000-05:00Hi there - I just wanted to say I've been reading ...Hi there - I just wanted to say I've been reading your blog for maybe a year or so, it's <BR/>made me rethink my attitudes towards people with learning disabilities, and I look forward to reading it everyday.<BR/><BR/>I've been without internet over Christmas, so was looking forward to coming back to reading a backlog of your posts. When I got to this one it made my heart sink.<BR/><BR/>I'm a Christian too, but people who write stuff like that horrible email make me almost embarrassed to admit it.<BR/><BR/>Anyway - merry Christmas, and thank you for writing such a challenging and entertaining blog. Don't let people like that get you down - you clearly have plenty of friends and fans who are happy to see you have such a healthy, happy and mutually supportive relationship. I might just have to organise an anti-boycott by advertising your blog to other people who might be interested.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-22476480971017541342008-12-28T16:42:00.000-05:002008-12-28T16:42:00.000-05:00Well, if i had recieved that email, i would have p...Well, if i had recieved that email, i would have published the person's email address (and telephone number and street address if they had included them). And i would have forwarded them to every queer and/or atheist blog, forum and e-list i could find (probably starting with PZ Myers's blog Pharyngula, which has a long history of dealing with such hateful religious fundamentalists). And that person would be getting a hell of a lot of gay porn.<BR/><BR/>But then, i am not a Christian, and tend to regard Christian ethics as more harmful than positive when it comes to human liberation.<BR/><BR/>I also disagree with those who say that such prejudice has no place in Christianity - from my studies of the Bible, it looks pretty central to Christianity to me. It always amazes me when people who are queer and/or sex-positive call themselves Christian (or Jewish, or Muslim), because negativity towards any kind of sexual relations other than heterosexual monogamy for the sole purpose of childbearing seems to be a central principle of all the Abrahamic religions.stevethehydrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18334234855643025449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-80891317202100469252008-12-28T16:40:00.000-05:002008-12-28T16:40:00.000-05:00Oh my. I'm a few days late in catching up because ...Oh my.<BR/><BR/> I'm a few days late in catching up because of the holidays but I must comment. The message of inclusiveness has been lost on this person.<BR/><BR/><BR/> Rest assured I'll continue to read your blog and wish you and Joe the very best.a small quiet voicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16527557474704227407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-24584425003563573302008-12-28T11:53:00.000-05:002008-12-28T11:53:00.000-05:00"The history of a lifetime spent in love"No hatred..."The history of a lifetime spent in love"<BR/><BR/>No hatred can erase that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-14707715919233957632008-12-28T06:42:00.000-05:002008-12-28T06:42:00.000-05:00Sadly, it looks like they may have gotten the cue ...Sadly, it looks like they may have gotten the cue for their "Christmas message" from <A HREF="http://uk.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUKTRE4BL2FE20081222" REL="nofollow">the Pope's</A>. He's not the model for their name calling however. <BR/><BR/><I>"we believe that God wants us to be loving towards the person who is homosexual"</I> -- and this is how they show that love? <BR/><BR/>It boggles the mind...jypsyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105669108222678038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-2635850755938391612008-12-28T00:14:00.000-05:002008-12-28T00:14:00.000-05:00Not much to say that hasn't been said by everyone ...Not much to say that hasn't been said by everyone else.<BR/><BR/>I will of course continue to read.<BR/><BR/>How terribly sad that someone has so much hate inside of them that they have to spew it out on others. <BR/>I feel sorry for the person who wrote that email. <BR/><BR/>CAMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35743239.post-38748909571793039802008-12-27T22:44:00.000-05:002008-12-27T22:44:00.000-05:00I have been off enjoying the vacation and hadn't r...I have been off enjoying the vacation and hadn't read your blog for a few days, so I was playing catch up.<BR/><BR/>I just wanted to say that I am sorry that someone felt that they had the right to dictate to you how you live your life. <BR/><BR/>Celebrate everything that is good to you and Joe, you deserve all of it. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for doing your part for those with disabilities.<BR/><BR/>Best,<BR/><BR/>OMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com