Right now, this exact moment, Joe is taking luggage downstairs as we prepare to go to Carrog Mill Cottages where we will be for the next several nights. We've been in nice hotels and we've only had a few blips along the way ... for example, who the hell thinks that a toilet that hangs off the wall is accessible? ... but that aside, it's been a smooth trip accommodations wise ... now, though, we're going to our favourite place to stay in the world. The cottage is wonderfully accessible ... in fact, it's more than accessible it's freeing.
When we knew we were coming back we hoped we'd be at the cottages again, and sure enough, we're going to be there - twice. I'm not sure what the Ling Trust was thinking about when they decided to embark on this venture, but I'm glad they did. It's accessibility as designed by people who get disability. That's a very different thing and results in a very different feel.
There's a difference between 'adapted for' and 'planned for' that is sometimes hard to explain. There can be a tacked on, did it cause the law made us, there now you satisfied, sense to 'adaption'. Not always, but there can be. When something is planned for it's like the process involves stopping to think what someone would like, go beyond the basics, moving towards the idea of freedom not accessibility. I am not doing well with words here because I don't know how to really describe it.
Because it's so rare.
I am thankful for adaptions, don't get me wrong. I'm disabled I know I'm supposed to be grateful.
But when someone does something intentionally, it doesn't feel like they want gratitude, it feels like they want you to simply be pleased.
So, we're going.
And I'm excited.
Many of these posts will come in a jumbled order. I know that the Internet isn't readily available there - or it wasn't last time. So I'm writing ahead, several posts in a day, so that they can be scheduled to post even if I'm not at a computer to push the right buttons. So, I'll see you the other side of Wales.
8 comments:
LOVE this:
When someone does something intentionally, it doesn't feel like they want gratitude, it feels like they want you to simply be pleased.
It sounds like the other side of heaven rather than Wales! :) Some people (the Welsh)may think they are the same thing! :)
Dear Dave:
I remember your post from the last time you visited this cottage.
I hope you and Joe have a wonderful time in heaven - Wales.
I like what you say about gratitude - it moves you from burden of charity to just another satisfied customer.
Enjoy!
Colleen
I hope that you and Joe have a wonderful trip.
Sharon
I have trouble finding the right words for this concept too, but I do absolutely get what you mean by the different "feel" of things done for you because they think they're obligated or even forced (by the law) to do it, or perhaps doing it as an afterthought (oh that's right, I guess we should add on something for the disabled folks too) versus things that are done because the needs of people with disabilities were put at the center of their planning from the start.
In addition to experiencing this as a deaf woman in environments planned with deaf people in mind versus those that are not (in which we are tolerated only as afterthoughts), I think there is also a different "feel" when you go into a restaurant and find they really genuinely want vegans to be among their customers and fans versus a restaurant that doesn't really care about vegans except that they know they have to accommodate us so that they don't lose the business of entire groups of people, when a group of meat eaters with one lone vegan is looking for a place where all can dine together. If a restaurant isn't really interested in vegans as their customers, then you can often tell because there will often be only a very few options and in only some of the possible courses of the meal not all of them. And usually they'll be pretty boring bland foods with no comprehension of what vegans like to eat or that it's even possible to develop some very nice interesting vegan dishes with just a little thought and planning. Whereas a restaurant that is enthused about the idea of having more vegans in their restaurant will have multiple vegan options in each and every section of the menu in each meal (in the salads ... AND appetizers ... AND entrees ... AND desserts, etc.). And they'll taste interesting enough that meat eaters will like them too. I know I tend to feel more comfortable in restaurants that clearly want vegans as customers, not just because it's easier to find options but because I feel a lot more welcome there and know in advance they are likely to be more patient with whatever questions I might have about the food and more likely to actually know the answer and be prepared to answer honestly.
We have just spent some great days in your company and feel like you and John coming is a bit of heaven coming to us too.
We have just spent some great days in your company and feel like you and Joe coming is a bit of heaven coming to us too.
So need to get the hang of this!
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