Friday, March 19, 2010

Carded

When we got home from work yesterday we simply had to go out. The sky was a spectacular blue, the weather warm, it was the kind of afternoon that one had to go out for a stroll. I didn't even wear a jacket and Joe had tossed on something very light. We went over to the new Longos grocery store in our area and discovered that it was accessible to many but not to me. We exited from the somewhat embarassed situation with me never understanding why I'm embarrassed when employees of an faux accessible store aren't.

We decided to walk over to the bank and get Joe's new bank card operational. As we arrived there was a homeless guy there, a little drunk, and I was steering respectfully around him to get in through the door. He caught sight of me and with that blistering humour that drunks have, said, 'Hey, it's a wide load.' The others turned to me and all burst into laughter because, you know, it's a pretty funny line - when you are drunk.

I don't wish to go out by those wits again, I' was pretty sure that 'two ton Tony' was next on the list of HA HA's. So we continued in from the bank machine to the mall picked up a lottery ticket and then went back out into the street. On our way home I noticed the young man who I usually buy the 'newspaper' from. It's a paper that's put onto the streets so that people don't have to beg, they can sell the paper and simply keep the money.

He's a fragile person. When he speaks you can hear the broken parts of his heart all beating different rhythems and as a result his speach has none. I take the news paper and he takes the two toonies I offer him. He whispers to me, 'Thank you, you are a kind and dear man.'

At Vita, my place of work, we are about to begin a study in intentionality. How we can, from supervisor to direct care can become intentional in how we carry ourselves through the day. We've created little wallet cards, with five affirmations and five self evelauation questions. It's a brand new approach for us and we are interested in seeing how it works. I had brought one of the cards home from work. Before going out I read it, then placed it in my wallet.

I went into a sunny day, ready to be intentional in my caring. And it worked. For me, today, it worked. I know in my heart that if it had been an ordinary day of discovering a brand new store to be inaccessible followed by others who saw me as a source of humour. My heart would have been so guarded on the way home that I could not have taken a moment to be kind.

Maybe intending to kindness is the first step in caring well about others. That was a trial run. The research begins in a couple weeks.

10 comments:

Kris S. said...

You ARE a kind and gentle man. And I'm very interested in the "intentionality" project. Hope to read more about it here.

Baba Yaga said...

This sounds fascinating. Please tell more as it goes on.

Brenda said...

Wonderful - as always. I'd sure like to know what's on those cards! What you describe has happened to all of us, I'm sure. We leave the house, in a good mood, smiling, looking forward to whatever prompted us to leave the house in the first place; and then...stuff happens. Life happens. Some good, some bad. And the only difference in how we reflect back on that day is the choice we made in how to 'see' what has transpired. It's really all about our perceptions and our intentions. Sounds like you are about to embark on something really fascinating, and I hope you'll share more as the project goes forward. I intend to be listening!

Belinda said...

How great that the course of one day's history was changed "intentionally." May the ripple become a tsunami of kindness. I'm making this Friendly Friday to start with! :)

Dave Hingsburger said...

Brenda, we will certainly share what's on the cards when we've done our research. The cards, though, are NOT wordy. They are brief and we are still quietly refining them. I'll write a follow up once we begin at Vita.

Kristin said...

What an interesting idea. I hope the real testing works as well as the trial run did.

Clay said...

Hi Dave,

I wrote a story, and included you and Joe in it. I hope you approve.
http://cometscorner-clay.blogspot.com/2010/03/on-angel-pond.html

theknapper said...

Really looking forward to what you discover and your process.

Susan said...

Loved this!

Choosing your attitude is one of the most powerful things we can do in life... I think of one young cop who was gunned down at the beginning of last week and what a legacy he left - simply because he chose an "outward looking" attitude. A legacy like that is built one small intentional kindness at a time.

Hope I can hang on long enough to build one yet! (A legacy. :) )

constance said...

We cannot offer person-centred care unless we are a person-centred organisation. Our charity (The Salix Dementia Trust in Scotland)is trying hard. Something like your "intentionality"?

Looking forward to reading more...